Daddy only wants to be "Daddy" during sex.

[I-Am-Princess-Maddie]

[DaddySkellington]

I hate to say this but he is not a Daddy. Not to mention how unfair it is for you to be 80-90% of your DDLG couple and he only adds his 10-20% when it only suites his sexual needs.......that is not a daddy that is a user. DDLG relationships are a 50/50 like all others and his unwillingness to accommodate you only shows what exactly you mean to him. He only sees you as a sexual object not a true Little. Maybe sit down with him and actually read what a real Daddy does for their littles and even the definition of the DDLG, stop having sex with him until he starts acting like a daddy or leave him. Personally I would throw him in the gutter and go find another REAL daddy. Sorry if this seemed harsh but i always speak the truth from my heart and am very protective, good luck!

[Littleskittle]

I have a similar situation! 

He doesn't really care for me: like no rules about sleepy time and stuff, But he does have a whole list of rules for playtime.. We pretty much only talk about sex (it's LDR) and it's getting worse.. 

What should I do?

 

(really really  sorry to not give advice     but I am in the same boat?)

[Broccoli Rob]

Well, at the risk of sounding crass, to me it sounds like he's only really interested in the sexual aspect of your relationship. He needs to be told that there is so much more to it, and he needs to realize that at present, you are not happy with the situation, and there's a problem. If he just assumes 'everything's fine' and doesn't realize how important it is to you, then nothing will ever change.

 

You two need to sit down and talk, with no distractions, like TV or phones, what have you. He needs to be clear that you're unhappy with the current situation, and you want things to change, and that your emotional needs are not being met.

 

If he isn't open to that, then it's clear that he doesn't really want to be your daddy or caregiver, and he's just interested in the sexual aspect. I know its hard to hear, but it is what it is. 

 

Is he providing for your emotional and physical well being? Does he create a comfortable environment for you and your little? You need to look deep inside yourself and consult your heart for the answers. Your heart will never lie to you. 

 

The current situation for you, will not change unless you will it. If he is unwilling, then maybe it's best if you went elsewhere. He truly needs to know the severity of the situation. His response when learning about it will tell you all you need to know. 

 

I truly hope the two of you work it out, and he comes around. The best of luck to you both.

[I-Am-Princess-Maddie]

Thank you DaddySkellington for the advice. We have been together for a year and a half and had been together for a year before I brought up dd/lg so I don't want to just let him go after so long. And LittleSkittle I'm sorry to hear that. It does sound similar! Maybe we can talk about it sometime! Broccoli Rob thank you. I am planning to sit him down soon and discuss. Maybe this lifestyle just isn't for him.

[daddy4babygurls]

To both girls (Princess Maddie and Littleskittle): the other guys responding are spot on. If a guy "claims" to be a Daddy but doesn't "follow though" with his behavior and taking care of your little girl "needs" (and NOT about sex!), then you have a very big decision to make here. What is more important to you? In my experience, little girls are very deeply "little", it's an integral part of who they are. They can't suppress it for very long or they become very unhappy. I do hope both of you girls can get your Daddy to wake up and be the Daddy you deserve, or else find one who will be the Daddy you deserve... Best wishes to both of you...

[Littleskittle]

Thank you DaddySkellington for the advice. We have been together for a year and a half and had been together for a year before I brought up dd/lg so I don't want to just let him go after so long. And LittleSkittle I'm sorry to hear that. It does sound similar! Maybe we can talk about it sometime! Broccoli Rob thank you. I am planning to sit him down soon and discuss. Maybe this lifestyle just isn't for him.

I would love to talk!!! Let me know how it went!! 

Thanks to everyone for giving Princess Maddie great advice!! 

[PeachyPantsu]

I've been through this. Sometimes they're just shy about it. You have to take initiative and kind of guide him.

[Sophie]

I think there's a huge misunderstanding between you two. When he hears "ddlg", he's probably thinking of something like daddy kink where the only time he's called daddy is in the bedroom, and the daddy role is not something built into the relationship. Maybe in his head he thinks he's 100% fulfilling your needs and just assuming that that's all you want out of him?

 

But on the other hand, if he does actually know what dd/lg is all about, then it's likely that he's just not that enthusiastic about being a daddy and it may not be the right thing for him...

[daddy4babygurls]

and possibly a lack of clear communication about needs, expectations and desires?

[jellicle baby]

Let him know how you feel and what you're into, and how he makes you feel when he refuses to be supportive and cooperative. Of course, DDLG and anything else in the BDSM community requires very thorough communication with your partner, and in the end, neither you nor he can force one another to engage in any activity they don't feel comfortable with, of course. But if he is neglecting a choice he knowingly made with you to nurture and comfort you, he has no right to simply refuse out of laziness. Let him know how you feel, and talk it out, and if it comes up that he's not just lazy but truly not into the DDLG lifestyle, you can't force him. 

[Amilialeigh1221]

I have found that you can not make people care about things that they simply do not care about. The way it seems, it looks like he only has interest in age play and the sexual side of dd/lg. If you have spoken to him and he refuses to take active part on the relationship dynamic, then he may just not be the right partner for you in the long run.

[Guest MontBlanc]

I haven't got much by way of advice other than I agree with the others who suggested you talk with him.  I can somewhat emphasise with your boyfriend as I am new to it as well and their are certain aspects of DDLG which are not 100% for me - but that is fine, DDLG means a lot of different things to differing people.  From what I can gather he is new to it and some aspects may take him some time to adjust to; but that doesn't mean he can't.

 

Which leads me to my next point.  DaddySkelleton's remarks were very unfair and based on some very far fetched assumptions - I hope you didn't pay them much attention to his benighted ramblings.  He doesn't know your boyfriend and his opinion of him is worth zero credibility points.   There is no textbook definition of what makes a good daddy (despite what Skeleton said), it depends on the relationship and the people involved.  Hope you two find your happy medium that works both for you .   I wish he could see this but looks like he got banned.

 

Good luck!