Helping your daddy through a rough time.

[Guest raptorkitty]

Hello, 

 

so a little back story, my daddy lives an hour away from me. He wakes up every work day at 4:30am and gets off work at 6pm (he rides a bus to work). Every Friday he drives down to pick me up and drive me back to his house to stay the weekend. (2 hours in the car.) Then he does the 2 hour car ride again on Sunday to drop me off. That in its self is extremely exhausting for him, however recently his truck's gears slipped. Not only does this stress him out money wise but now he doesn't get to see me until he finds a solution or next month when I get my car/licence. I want to be able to do something for him to help him feel better. However he's a very "I'm the man, its my job to support you" type of guy so nothing I do can effect his dynamic. Otherwise he may feel less of a man.

 

Does anyone have any ideas for how i can make him feel better? Creative ones? 

[GentleGuidance]

Hello,

 

First off, let me start by telling you that it is both rough for you as a little to see that he's refusing your help possibly leading you to feel powerless, and for your daddy to be stressed over the financial issue and not getting to see his significant other. As with any conflict or issue, communication is the best way to tackle any sense of stress and anxiety. I'll give you some general tips on how you could approach him about this, and you can pick yourself what works best since you know him better than anyone else.

 

Be supportive and patient. Don't pressure the topic or insist on bringing it up at every possibility. Choose a moment when you have time to talk to  him alone, and tell him how you feel, and that you are worried. If he talks about the car, give a suggestion. Perhaps you could take public transport like a bus or train for one weekend to see him or one of you could borrow a car from family/friends for the ride? Or you meet halfway and spend the day at another town and think of some fun activities there together? Try and turn the problem into an opportunity where you can turn the stress and worry into a positive experience. Listen carefully to what he says, and show understanding. Try and compliment him on the fact you're proud of him and know he's doing the best he can given the circumstances.

 

We don't always have to be heroes. Sometimes it's okay to say you're worried and don't know how to solve a situation. I hope this helps somewhat.

[daddyslilpeach]

I haven't yet figured this one out yet, but I feel you. My Daddy is also a very 'manly man'. He bottles his emotions, he doesn't show em at all unless they're for me, he hates asking for help yet other people take advantage of his kind nature, I had to nag the fuck out of him to do certain things. He's even got the typical manly putting off visits to the Dr thing. It sucks.

[Guest DaddyMN]

I just want to applaud the fact that you were able to recognize your daddy was having a hard time, even if it was more emotional/mental, and wanted to act upon it. 

While he may turn it down, money always helps. If you have any to spare, that is. I'm the same way, I want to be the sole provider in the relationship and I would never ask or admit that money would help.

But it would. So if you can, maybe offer to help get his car fixed and if he puts up a fight, use the 'You can pay me back later then'. It's easier for us kind of daddy's to accept handouts when its seen more as a loan.

 

[TheMatador]

Put any, and all offers there to make sure he can pick and choose what he thinks would suit him best, it's a pretty bad situation to be in, just remind him that you love him no matter the option that he takes. Just being there for the guy alone, when he bottles things up is a great thing.