My Daddy Left forever yesterday for his new job. I thought I was prepared but I'm falling apart.

[Guest Teagan (means little poet)]

My Daddy left forever yesterday afternoon, he isn't going to be a Daddy any more ever. I knew it was coming and we had this past week together just us and I though I was prepared but now I feel like I am trying to keep myself from falling apart. I can't seem to stop crying or talk to anyone for very long. No one really understands how close we were and the guilt that comes with being intimate with someone one so close like that and then it just ending, like if things were going to need to end eventually, maybe we shouldn't have let ourselves gotten so close. I new from the start that it could end at any time because he wanted to advance his career and life; now it feels like i just set both of us up for pain and hurting. He would set intimacy limits and I would follow them but when he would want more or seems to want more (I'm not sure which one of those two it really was) so I would give him whatever he wanted because I love him. I feel so guilty now that I gave more instead of helping him stick to the limits he set, but the limits seemed to change a lot which was really confusing, and I should have tried harder to talk to him about that but he doesn't like to talk about his feelings or emotions or personal thoughts, so I didn't push to do so. I feel like I did something wrong by being so close to him and that I kept hoping, strong enough to believe and act it, that this really was going to last forever and that I would be part of his life forever. 

 

I hurt so much and can't figure out what to do. What do you when you feel so sad that you can't feel anything but the sadness. Or when you can't stop blaming yourself.

 

Thank you for listening, even if no one responds it feels a little better to say all of this said out loud. Now I have a better idea now of what is actually hurting so much.

[Guest buddhagirl]

That sounds really, really hard and sad. Having a close relationship AND a good Daddy is such a precious gift in life. I know you must really be hurting right now. Just get through one day at time and try to take care of yourself. Things will get better with time. Sending hugs!

[Guest Teagan (means little poet)]

That sounds really, really hard and sad. Having a close relationship AND a good Daddy is such a precious gift in life. I know you must really be hurting right now. Just get through one day at time and try to take care of yourself. Things will get better with time. Sending hugs!

 

Thank you so much, especially for the hug.

[LoralieHaze]

Be sad for as long as you need to be sad. I've said this before and I'll say it again because I know its true: if you try to move on too quickly, or immediately pretend like you're not hurting, that sadness and pain will just come up later when you're not expecting it. The only way to get rid of these bad feelings is to feel them. Cry as much as you want, listen to sad music, watch sad movies; basically mourn for the relationship if you feel like you need to. I can't promise that the feelings will go away completely but I can promise that they will soon become much less strong and easier to manage.

 

Do not regret getting close to him or loving him with all your heart. That is, in my opinion, part of what makes us Littles special; the strong capacity for which we love our caregivers. (Whether or not a particular caregiver deserves that love is an another, individual matter.) Don't blame yourself that you went past the limits that he set because as your daddy, he was supposed to be the responsible one, he shouldn't have changed them or confused you. You gave him more because you loved him and you wanted to make him happy. Please also don't regret that you didn't try hard enough to talk about things. Communication can only happen when both people are willing. If you were open to it, and he wasn't, you did all that you could do. There was no point in you trying more if he wouldn't try at all. 

 

Its not at all your fault that its over if he put an end-date in place right from the beginning. This makes me question his maturity and responsibility if he couldn't handle a career and a relationship at the same time. Why even start a relationship if you know you can't stay in it? 

 

I know that you didn't mention this but I will because it comes up a lot at the end of CGL relationships: don't stop being Little. If you two watched a certain show together or played a certain game, don't stop enjoying them just because you enjoyed them with him. If he helped you get into Little Space, don't avoid going there now. Don't allow him to take away that part of you. Please keep being your cute Little self. 

 

The end of any relationship is hard but especially CGL ones because there's that extra level of closeness. Don't blame yourself for any of this because it doesn't seem that you did anything wrong. If you want more advice or just want to vent, feel free to add me and send me a PM.

 

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzoadpokwp1r3zat8.gif

[DeepSpaceDaddy]

I'm new to this site and to this "world", so I won't pretend to know much about it (because I don't!) but I do know that in life, there are times we can do everything right and still get hurt or still have things that work against us. Just like a worker can do an excellent job and still lose their job (because maybe the company went bankrupt or something), you can do everything right in a relationship and it still not work out for any one of many reasons. That doesn't mean you made a mistake to give it everything you did. In fact, you can take solace in the fact that you DID do could and you DID give it your all. It didn't end because of anything you did (or failed to do).

 

In this case, since you were very close and now he is completely out of your life, it's like being with someone who ends up dying. The grief process will likely be much the same. You can't rush it and you can't hide from it. Allow yourself to feel it, acknowledge it, cherish the good memories and in time, the pain will subside and you'll be able to move on.

 

Will you have any contact with him or is he completely and totally gone? There is always the chance he is missing you more than he realized he would too. ~big warm hugs~ You'll get through this. :-)

[beingthesubme]

*hugs*

 

I so understand how much endings hurt. You did nothing wrong, the timing was just all wrong. I had similar circumstances, except I am the one who left my Daddy. It still hurts sometimes.

 

But there are other fish in the sea and it will be okay. You will find someone new, if that is what you want. Just enjoy being a single girl for a bit and curl up with teddies and cartoons. You'll be ok. 

 

<3

[DeepSpaceDaddy]

So how are you doing now? :-)

[Guest Teagan (means little poet)]

So how are you doing now? :-)

 

A bit better now thank you.