My boyfriend doesn't like Dd/lg

[Prettypumpkinprincess]

Hey, so I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have a good relationship, emotionally, sexually and whatever. I'm into bdsm and such, and I've told him about this and he's acted upon it, we both enjoy bdsm and other smaller kinks. However recently I told him that I think I'm a little, he didn't know what it was so he looked it up, he told me that he doesn't mind it in sex but not in every day life... But I want cuddles and sippycups and to eat of Disney Princess plates and have stuffies from daddy. That's another thing he doesn't like to be called daddy and he often laughs when I say it or ask him about it sometimes when I'm upset I just want to cuddle up to him and say I love you daddy, but I know I never can and it's starting to to upset me. I go into littlespace a lot when I'm around him but I don't think he realises as he's not 100% sure on what it is.

 

I'm just looking for some advice on what to do, thankyou for reading c:

[Guest Don Pablo]

If you value your relationship over the desire of integrating ddlg into it, wait and go with the flow. I assume you have told him about 2-3 weeks ago, give it time, let it sink in. His opinion/views about it might change for good, or not. If it doesnt you have to ask yourself if having a ddlg relationship is a want or a need and go from there.

 

best of luck

Edited June 3, 2016 by Don Pablo

[Prettypumpkinprincess]

Thankyou so much!

[littlexkittenx]

My boyfriend wasn't into ddlg at first. But over time he got into it once he understood it. So I think you should just give it a little bit more time. I know its hard because you are ready to call him daddy and be little, but patience is key! 

Edited June 3, 2016 by littlexkittenx

[Guest AZDaddydom]

My wife and I have been together for 14 years and in the last few years tried the bdsm stuff and then ventured out into the little thing. However, in our relationship I am more into the ddlg thing than she is. She loves that I am dominant and that I tell her what to do but never thought of herself as a little. I have told her many reasons why she is and showed her, she likes to color, she loves snuggles and when I hold her, she likes her hair brushed and cute outfits and she pouts like a child and I don't think she realizes it. I pointed these things out to her and she realized that maybe she is but more of a middle (she doesn't care for the paci unless we are playing). My point is that she loves that I am dominant and tell her what to do, she likes that I give her structure and help her calm down when she is feeling anxious. This started out as bdsm, which taught a lot about what we like in that kink but she is not into pain and being tied up all the time and I am more of a nurturing dom. So I knew this was more up our ally but it took a long time of showing her that I am committed to being her daddydom and taking care of her every need and providing structure so she knows she can trust giving me that control. Over the last year she has started to open up more to the idea of this and has admitted that she does see she has a little/middle side and now its just nurturing that over time and showing her that it is a place she can go when she is upset or mad or anxious. Its been hard having 2 kids and a 3rd on the way but she is opening more and more to it. So my advice is that it will take time, don't push it too much, just continue to act little from time to time around him. Show him what that kind of control is like being a daddy and over time he might turn out to like it. It may start as something only during sex, that is what it was for us and mostly is still but we are working on rules, rewards and punishments and trying to venture out to make it part of our daily life and slowly we are getting there. You keep slowly showing your little side and watch the things that may look like interest him and if you can trust him, give him more and he may eventually be on board. But you need to have a balance too, feed it to him slowly. Hope this helps, I know it was long. 

[DaddyPenguin]

Well from what you say it's obvious you are little. Since you have recently told him about DDlg and it is something totally new to him given him time is needed. For someone that this is new for and not the one who brought it up it can be very weird to him, specially with the term Daddy involved because society has that term reserved for men with children. Don't give up, give him time to research it. Maybe after a bit maybe sit down and talk with him and see about adding a few elements of DDlg into the mix, calling him Daddy is something that would come much later. I know you said you all have a great relationship so that's good. I know many say just might have to give up on having DDlg relationship since he may not come around. Now if later on, months he just does not want anything to do with DDlg than you have a choice. You need to see if being able to be the little that you are or if the relationship with him is more important. Some may say wrong to.through away a great relationship because can't have DDlg. But I believe it is not. Being little or a Daddy Dom is part of who we are. It's like saying you can not be you. I speak from experience, if you are truly little and not allowed to express that you may have the feeling of something is missing or won't be fully happy. I have seen the same situation go both way where the little/Daddy stayed in relationship and not able to let their little/daddy come.out and they were unable and eventually the relationship ended because of the void they had that could not be filled until was able to be in a DDlg relationship. I am not saying dump him as you need to give him time to think or adjust but you also need to be happy down the road and be able to be who you are, all of you.

[Guest algernon]

That's another thing he doesn't like to be called daddy and he often laughs when I say it or ask him about it sometimes when I'm upset I just want to cuddle up to him and say I love you daddy, but I know I never can and it's starting to to upset me.

I'm just looking for some advice on what to do, thankyou for reading c:

Is it particularly important to you that you call him "Daddy"? It sounds like he's uncomfortable with that part, so if you can settle for something else, that might make things a little easier for him, especially if he's already reacting well to snuggles and cute outfits. I know words can really make a difference, but even just calling him by his name or whatever regular pet names you have used may help him kind of ease into it with fewer conscious objections.

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

Give it some time. Try a different nickname too. I know a lot of people are turned away from it because so any people make fun of it. Back in the 20s-30s it was actually a really common pet name.

[Guest algernon]

Give it some time. Try a different nickname too. I know a lot of people are turned away from it because so any people make fun of it. Back in the 20s-30s it was actually a really common pet name.

Aren't arbitrary multi-standards silly?

[WickedJax]

Research, research, research! When my first little introduced me to DDlg I was a bit weirded out, to be honest. But I was shown some interesting articles, taught more about it, and I really came to appreciate and enjoy this lifestyle. If that doesn't help then it may not just be his thing, at which point you should have a serious, blunt conversation about the nature of your relationship. Some just aren't build to last.

[honeyboy]

My daddy wasn't into it at first and was adamant that I didn't call them daddy. I didn't budge on liking little stuff but didn't push it on them, and I think me watching youtube videos and reading things in their presence (for my own enjoyment) indirectly kind of educated them on it and let them see what it was all about. Even if someone doesn't directly object to it (like, find it creepy or whatever) it might be hard for them to imagine how that dynamic would work. Do some basic research with them, get them to research on their own if you can, then maybe show them some youtube videos or something that show happy, loving DDlg relationships so they can see how lovely this sort of relationship can be.

 

After a while my daddy asked me one night to try it out to see how it felt, they said they were surprised that they actually kinda liked it, and slowly we started incorporating more little things into our relationship, and the rest is history!! :~)

 

Just take it slow, but you have to be prepared for the possibility he might never come around to it. If that happens you'll have to decide if it's a sacrifice you're willing to make. Good luck, I hope you find a way to make things work for both of you! :~)