LDRs

[Guest Bam Bam]

How do you fellow Daddies/Caregivers handle LDRs?

[Guest Sun]

The question is a little broad so I'l ltry and put in a bit of overall info.

Hmm, trying to keep to a schedule might be the best, first thing  Ican think of. Of course there's exceptions to that ( for us ) every now and then dpending on various things ( having too much fun / too excited to go to bed being the usual culprits ).

A LDR isn't stressfull as some make it sound, typically you want to aproach it somewhat detached and just ease into it.

If you want to ask about anything a bit more specific, I think that would help with the replies!

 

But the most important thing I can think of when dealing with LDR is to not neglect yourself / your health / time.

[Guest algernon]

There are some universal pros and cons, though Caregiver/little LDRs can pose some different difficulties and benefits than standard relationships.

 

I'll first echo Sun and say to not neglect your own needs, which can happen without one noticing especially when dealing with not only different schedules, but different time zones. The nature of long-distance communication allows for this anyway (text, email, etc. conversations can take place throughout the day or night whenever one has time), though part of the dynamic in a caregiver/little relationship is the structure. Depending on how serious you are from "casual role play" to "if we were local, we'd be married", that structured time element can be very helpful. Set a schedule that works for both of you, even starting with a routine of scheduled daily greetings and weekly "play dates" and stick to it, and it helps the relationship stay feeling like a relationship.

 

Boundaries are a big deal, too. LDRs always require open communication about expectations from each partner, including but not limited to the extend of the exclusivity of the relationship, though because DD/lg is a different kind of relationship, that needs to be clarified even more so.

 

In any LDR, I've found that one of the best things to help keep the relationship strong and blissful is to do things together in addition to talking. Playing online games, watching a show or movie at the same time and with the phone on, whatever you can imagine. Skype dates with a little can include dress-up fashion shows or playing a board/card game or coloring together.

 

And like anything else, whatever the relationship, call it what it is and treat it how it's called. If it's "just" a LDR, don't ever let it be anything else, even in your mind - that way lies madness. If you two hope it goes beyond that, take steps to make that happen - in the proper time, of course, whatever that may be for you two, but if you want it moving, you have to move it; otherwise, see above comment on madness and the way to it.

[Guest Bam Bam]

Thanks for the feedback. I live in an area where ddlg isn't popular, well their aren't really any kinks being discussed out here. So my best bet would to be in a LDR.

[daddyslilpeach]

Not a Daddy, but my daddy has found it extremely trying. And painful. 

I'm not going to pretend it's all sweetness and light. 

 

If it's just a LDR, online ddlg relationship, fine, but the day you start to feel real feelings for the one you spend hours on Skype with, get ready. It's so gruelling. You need to be strong to do that shit. 

Edited June 1, 2016 by daddyslilpeach

[Guest algernon]

If it's just a LDR, online ddlg relationship, fine, but the day you start to feel real feelings for the one you spend hours on Skype with, get ready. It's so gruelling. You need to be strong to do that shit.

 

This is a well-spoken truth.

 

If you're having trouble with ddlg in your local area, and the caregiver "daddy" side of you is hungrier than the kinky "Dom" side, several posters gave some good ideas on being a daddy even when little-less in this recent thread:

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/9352-daddies-dont-stop-being-daddies-when-little-less/

[Johnny Hammersticks]

A long distance DDLG relationship is quite possible and can be very satisfiying, but its like any relationship, in real or online. Its all about building and holding onto trust and understanding. Im constanly reenforcing my trust in her, and making sure she knows without question she is owned. And cared for, and nothing can get inbetween us.

As a dom, you must take complete control, embrace it. Not just sexually, in every aspect of your littles life. Positive guidence, lots of love, lots of communication. Pride in your baby. I LOVE my ldr DDLG relationship.

I think the most important quality a Daddy can have is confidence that you know the right things to do.

[Guest Bam Bam]

My biggest issue is that I work overnight and sleep during the day. So I can't spend all day talking to somebody. A lot of people I've talked to is expecting me to communicate throughout the entire day.

[DaddyPenguin]

As for me it's always good to find someone close to being up when you are, similar schedule. You have to use every possible use of technology so you can spend good time together. Whether it's Skype. And you don't necessarily have to use Skype just to talk, you can use to eat together, watch movie together, watch her while she in little space. There are so many opportunities so Ldr is a little easier. But I will say ldr is not for everyone.

[Guest ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ⓇⓄⒷ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬]

Me in the princess Skype as much as We Can Text even  Face Book  instant Messenger   im gonna finally See my princess  in october Honestly   I Havent Been this Excited Since i Held my Know Five year old  actual Daughter 

[littlelili]

Not a Daddy, but my daddy has found it extremely trying. And painful. 

I'm not going to pretend it's all sweetness and light. 

 

If it's just a LDR, online ddlg relationship, fine, but the day you start to feel real feelings for the one you spend hours on Skype with, get ready. It's so gruelling. You need to be strong to do that shit. 

So true, everything starts fine and cool. But when real feelings kick in... everything is difficult, and sometimes really sad.

LDRs require lots of strenght from both sides.

[auban]

Well, when I deploy, we use every available piece of technology we can get our hands on. And we use them to send communications that we know will make the other smile. Aki might send me nudes via an encrypted link, I'll tell her funny stories about the locals, etc.

 

And of course, she tells me about her day and her struggles, and I do my best to formulate good solutions to any issues she has.

 

Though, we can't schedule communications, so she just keeps her phone handy in case I get a chance to call...

[dnswd]

As a daddy, LDRs dont work for me, even with current age of technology . Do keep in mind this is MY point of view, from my own personal experiences.

 

Yes it is possible to have one, I cant speak from a caregiver's point of view cause I have provided support only to couple of littles over the years but as a daddy at some point I will crave that touch. That is when things get hard for me. Requires lots of strength? Yes but there is only so much one can bear. We are human, we are social animals. Even if dont like socializing with others will still crave for that touch with a special someone.

 

Yes can make plans to visit but at the same time when I want to hold my little just to feel a little better and she is far far away it hits me really hard. Just how stuffies are to littles, my little is my stuffie. I want to see her in person, hold her, cuddle her, kiss her, watch her do the things she likes to do. If look at them objectively they are small things but its these small things that keep me grounded. Its these small things that recharge my batteries. 

Edited September 2, 2016 by dnswd