Judgement of LDR's

[Guest samtheman556]

Many of the Little's I've met and talked to have been online, and many of them of course tend to live very far away from where I do. Normally I don't have a problem with having friends that are far away but I'm nervous about long distance because my group of friends believe LDR's are a waste of time and dumb and I don't wanna seem dumb to them so I don't do LDR's hence why I look for Little's that are close to me.

 

Should I ignore what my friends say and try an LDR or stick with doing things locally? I'm sure there are a lot of great Little's out there but my friends opinions on distance are what get to me.

[LoralieHaze]

I could give a lot of examples and suggestions here but at the end of the day, all you really need to know is that: Your own happiness is more important than other people's opinion of your choices. 

[*Little-Girl*]

Online relationships are the best in my opinion!! I met my best friend online 7 years ago and we're super close. We have plans to finally meet next summer. LDR are real and they aren't dumb. Don't listen to people that say they're dumb! Instead you can sound cool and brag about your friends you've made from different countries. 

 

I personally like online/LDR because I can vent to them about the stuff going on locally and not worry about offending them by bashing somebody they know. 

 

But of course always stay safe when you meet new people online!

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

I've been with my DD for 3 years in LDR and honestly it's the best thing for someone like me. I don't know you so I can't say the same, but I have met my dd irl and I plan on moving in with him soon. I got a ton of judgment from friends, and to be honest they didn't last as friends for very long. Ldr can be hard fora lot and it's not for everyone, but some people even consider a Thirty minute drive to be long distance. It really depends on if you want to try it, but don't let the judgment from people deter you from trying.

[Princess-P]

While a long distance relationship isn't something I could do personally for multiple reasons, for some it can be a very fulfilling relationship. But if your friends opinions mean so much to you then I can see a few scenarios that might make it not work for you.

 

Your profile says your 18, maybe at that age for some you haven't discovered how freeing it is to honestly not care what others think, and that those who judge you are not worth having around.

 

I've seen a lot of examples of very loving long distance relationships, most eventually meeting in real life. But it won't work if let's say you can't talk to your partner because your friends are around, or you can't make time for them because you have plans with your buddies and don't want to tell your friends no for fear they may question you. Or lying... That's the biggest one I think. If your lying about someone your in a relationship with to save face with your friends then your not really letting them be a part of your life. What happens when your friends try to hook you up with someone? What if your little really needs you and you ignore them? And let's face it no one wants to be someone's dirty little secret, it makes them feel really low and unimportant.

 

You also have to maintain a healthy lifestyle away from a computer screen, so dropping all your friends and devoting all your time to a relationship just so they don't find out about it isn't a good idea either. Just like any healthy in person relationship you also need time on your own to hang out with your friends. But trying to do that while juggling a secret life doesn't really work.

 

Those are just a few things to consider before you try a long distance relationship. Consider if its really for you.

[Guest Sun]

You'll get older. You'll realize there's no reason to feel insecure about it or to please your friends at the expense of your happiness. Don't overthink things, go with your gut feeling.

Princess-P also makes a few great points. Find a balance, you don't want to neglect people but you don't want to neglect yourself either!

 

Friends also come and go. You'll find yourself comfortable with probably less than a handfull of actual friends. And those will not be superficial friends. They'll accept you as you are and be happy with how your relationship with them evolves.

Sure it can be different from person to person. What I wrote was from personal exprience and just how I go about daily life.

 

A healthy balance takes time to achieve; being so young also means you have all the time to experience a lot and as you get older you'll think about things a little more outside the box and be a bit more objective about how you want to go through life.

 

A LDR is harder than a regular relationship in my opinion.

 

Quick thing i forgot to mention.

You may or may not tak things further into RL. Depends on how the relationship progresses! But that's a big step!

Edited May 30, 2016 by Sun

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

While a long distance relationship isn't something I could do personally for multiple reasons, for some it can be a very fulfilling relationship. But if your friends opinions mean so much to you then I can see a few scenarios that might make it not work for you.

Your profile says your 18, maybe at that age for some you haven't discovered how freeing it is to honestly not care what others think, and that those who judge you are not worth having around.

I've seen a lot of examples of very loving long distance relationships, most eventually meeting in real life. But it won't work if let's say you can't talk to your partner because your friends are around, or you can't make time for them because you have plans with your buddies and don't want to tell your friends no for fear they may question you. Or lying... That's the biggest one I think. If your lying about someone your in a relationship with to save face with your friends then your not really letting them be a part of your life. What happens when your friends try to hook you up with someone? What if your little really needs you and you ignore them? And let's face it no one wants to be someone's dirty little secret, it makes them feel really low and unimportant.

You also have to maintain a healthy lifestyle away from a computer screen, so dropping all your friends and devoting all your time to a relationship just so they don't find out about it isn't a good idea either. Just like any healthy in person relationship you also need time on your own to hang out with your friends. But trying to do that while juggling a secret life doesn't really work.

Those are just a few things to consider before you try a long distance relationship. Consider if its really for you.

I first got with my daddy about two weeks after I turned 16. We've been together for three years now and I've lost a lot of friends since then. Most of them judged me for an LDR, because they felt the need to have a physical attachment for their relationships. It's actually been the healthiest relationship I've ever had, and to be honest they didn't really like my dd. I would always ask if it was okay to hang out with people or do somethings. This was before we actually got into or learned about DD/lg. They saw it as him being controlling or abuse, but that was never the case. I never felt the need to explain my relationship to people and still don't. They would always talk shit, try to hook me up with someone else, or just in general show disgust when I tried to talk about him or texted him when we weren't busy. They didn't know him. They wanted me to be "happy", but when they tried to hook me up with someone it was always someone they could get something out of. (Usually a place to hang out, some way to get booze or pot, stuff like that) I never faltered and soon I came to realize my dd was right about the people I was around, so I stopped talking to them. They wouldn't respect me or my relationship. The shit talk reached my family and was on a biased side from day one. When my dd came to visit he stayed for a week. They didn't approve and took away my means of communication with him. He got me a phone, I would take my computer to the library to talk to him. I made it work. After about a year, I staged it so it seemed like I stopped talking to him. My aunt got me a phone and has been paying for it. They don't know I'm still with him, and because of the situation I'm in currently I'm planning on moving across the country to be with him. Not the most ideal, but I hope my relationship can give some insight to struggles in LDRs.