New Daddy - confused, excited. hell i dont know where I am

[Totalus]

Hi

 

This is my first actual post here, although i have been reading a lot in the forums.

 

To give a brief introduction. I started dating a lovely girl about 6 weeks ago. We have had to lovely weekends together, and get on brilliantly. Recently in chats it came around to DD/LG. Apparently I make a great daddy in the respect of caregivng, and with a bit of thought, i can see why. She really wanted to try it, and has experimented with it in a LDR. I had never even heard of it, and after initial 'wow, what was that' and a lot of research, I am giving it a try.

 

SO far it has been going well. I am enjoying the role, and I am aparently very good at it.

 

This weekend is our first weekend together since this was introduced. She has a lot of experience of dom/sub. The most adventurous thing I have ever had was a BJ in the car while i was driving. I am middle aged, and single now for 2 years, ao i want to try all the things I never have.

 

I am worried that my complete lack of esxpereince of anything sexually in this situation. I have never been a DOM, i have not had the chance to try most of the things i have read in here. I am nervous. I want to do everything that my little wants, but i dont think she will want to prompt me.

 

How the heck do i handle this. I am really happy, but so worried.

 

Thanks in advance

 

[daddyslittleprincesss]

My daddy was exactly the same as you. He had never heard about this lifestyle or even tried. 

 

I told him how he should be acting and what things I liked my daddy doing to me. At first, he wasn't as open as he was scared he would hurt me etc, but I sat him down again and told him.

 

 

Try talking to your little, try experimenting with different things, nothing major at first. You'll be able to pick up on her body language when you do certain things(my daddy has recently started to do this, my body language changes when I really like something he is doing)

 

 

Also, make sure a safeword is in play! Just incase things get too much for either one of you to handle.

[Guest buddhagirl]

I think that you do all of this reading is an AMAZING first step! My Daddy and I were in the same situation as you and your love interest. I had a lot of experience with BDSM, but none with DDlg. Meanwhile, Daddy had lead a very vanilla sex life. Here is how he handled it....

• Make sure you both drop any illusion that you will be insta-dom and she will get everything she dreams of in the first week. Turn this in to a sexy thing by letting her know that you knows what's best for her and your relationship and there's no rush--you are in control and will do what you want to her, when you want and all in good time. This will make it about the exciting anticipation, rather than you not knowing or being ready to do EVERYTHING right now.
• Move slowly and methodically. Being in control of yourself and her is HOT, so introduce just one or two things at a time and revel in it. Do it over and over with her until you feel confident and competent in it before moving on to adding another new thing. She will want and probably ask for/complain for/beg for more, but just keep going ahead smooth and steady. Reassure her that you'll get there in good time.
• Start with the basics like spanking and holding her down. Don't go for the most intense stuff, even if she is begging for it and you think it's hot. Work up to it. There is a lot to learn about how to get someone into sub space and do this play safely, and you don't want to really mess up. Start with easier, lower bar activities that will build your confidence and still and her trust in you.
• Ask her if she'd like a few rules to follow and give them to her. If/when she doesn't follow them, ALWAYS give her a consequence and tell her why. There's a lot about different consequences you could use here on the forum.

As far as little space goes, try any of these easy ways to encourage her and convey to her that you like her being little:

• Buy her a coloring book and markers and ask her to color you a picture.
• Call her baby girl, sweetheart and princess regularly.
• Tell her she's a good girl.
• Read her a children's story book while having her laying with her head on your chest.
• Cuddle her A LOT!
• Take her to the store and let her pick a stuffie to cuddle when you're not together.

If you do these things, you'll be good, as long as this really is a natural part of your personality. My Daddy was a natural Daddy, so he has moved in to the role fairly easily and loves it!

[Totalus]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I am taking her to build a bear on saturday to have one made just as she wants. We will also be buying nighties, nickers, socks, colouring things and what ever else she wants. I have just started reading her stories over skype at bedtime, and she has started doign me a drawing everymorning. I message her all the time, i call her princess all the time (when she is little), she wakes up to a special message every morning. That side of it i am enjoying immensly already.

 

I was thinking of asking her to join this forum, and encouraging her to talk with others, bith for herself, and maybe as a way to drop hints of what se would like without telling me directly. I suppose it works both ways in that she can see what i discuss as well.

 

Daddiespride&joy. I do like learning, and reading i guess was the first part of it. Just a lot to take in at once. Taking it slowly and using that as actually 'part of the dom is a great idea. Never even thought of that.

 

Again thank you both so much. I am sure i will be bqack soon with more questions, but i am relaxing a little already.

Edited May 25, 2016 by Totalus

[Mystical Daddy]

Thanks Totalus for starting this thread, and thank you Daddieslittlewhoreprincess and buddahgirl for the great advice. This answered a few questions I had. I am one step closer to being a good caregiver.

[Guest algernon]

My two cents:

 

Remember that Caregiver/little and Dom/sub are two separate dynamics, and someone can be one but not the other, or both but for very different reasons. There is some natural overlap in practice, but the "essence" of each are arguably less related, and may provide fun or fulfillment in completely different ways. In my experience, communication about expectations, etc. is best when treating those aspects of DD/lg as separate parts of the relationship, at least at first.

 

If nothing else, you can break things into smaller components if you feel overwhelmed with figuring it all out, as "caregiver/little", "outfits/activities/role play", and "kinky bedroom fun" do not necessarily have anything to with each other and can even be mutually exclusive. Then again, I prefer to deconstruct, analyze, and categorize things, so your mileage may vary. Best wishes on your new adventure!