Non-negotiable rules?

[Guest RedDragon]

I'm curious about rules because I'm beginning to understand how I want my future relationship to be structured. For those of you who don't know, I'm relatively new to Ddlg. However, I know what I want and it includes some non-negotiable rules.

 

1. No self harm

2. No negative self-talk

3. Exercise is a must

4. Healthy eating habits is a must

 

Do any littles have experience with non-negotiable rules? What are they, and what is your feeling about them, good or bad?

 

Do any Mommies/Daddies have non-negotiable rules? What are they, and have they been positive or negative?

 

 

I have a few sexual non-negotiable ideas but this isn't the time to discuss it so please keep this non-sexual:)

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

1: No self harm

2: Never purposely hurt someone unless consented (Between the couple, if they hurt someone else we don't care)

3: Do your chores

4: No drinking/ Smoking unless you ask before hand (Excludes Vape and Ciggaretts)

5: Let the other know where you are and who you are with

6: Call every night before bed (On skype or phone)

7: Dress appropriately (Nothing flashy or short unless the other is present. This is more so to deter harassment. I have a pair of Tripp pants I'm not allowed to wear unless I am with other people, the one time I walk alone so many cars pulled over and tried to pick me up.)

8: No talking to creepy people and make it known you are taken and not interested

[Foxie]

I love the rules, And it feels great to have my Big help me stay track on them or remember to do things. I am quite a absent minded little sometimes and im stubborn to a fault others. I have rules and I'm happy to follow them before I let my daddy put any rule in place he has to talk to me about it in full so he can understand my feeling on it. Since im a long distance little my daddy has put rules in like,

1. Always stay in contact with daddy. he has to know im ok.

2. Bedtime is bedtime keep it. (its hard since our timezone but he makes sure I go to bed on time.)

3. Limit my snacks, I ask daddy before i have snacks as he dose help me keep on track with eating well and i love my cookies :3

4. I write out a diary, since i'm a long distance its all online where he has access and its great in person keeping one for little's for there bigs is great to.

5. keep ou with my room, i have to clean it everyday and make sure its not a mess.

We have more rules but those are the biggest ones, Love my rules and daddy dose to but every little dom dynamic can be diffrent.

[Guest RedDragon]

Thank you both! I'm beginning to get the impression that rules are a big part of Ddlg for a lot of couples. When I'm ready to start looking for a little, I want it to be clear up front what I need in order to be her Daddy. And some rules are going to be non-negotiable because that's just the way this Daddy wants it. Wasn't sure if this was annoying, ridiculous or appreciated. It has nothing to do with gaining any type of false respect. It's all about her protection and guidance and I intend on taking it seriously.

 

Are they any littles who object to rules, negotiable or otherwise?

[Sunny]

I feel like at least the making of the rules should always be negotiable; we are all, in the end, consenting adults, and it is our consent that makes BDSM safe. I helped to write all of my rules with my Daddy, and while we both feel like they should not be broken, I'm always given a chance to explain myself if I break one. For instance, healthy eating; I have an eating disorder and I struggle with depression as a result of bipolar disorder, both of which affect my ability to follow that rule. My Daddy will take the circumstances into consideration and punish appropriately instead of indiscriminately, which also means sometimes he won't punish me at all if I'm feeling particularly down.

 

It is up to our Caregivers how to use the power that we, as subs, give to them. Dynamics should be give and take just as much as a real relationship.

[Guest RedDragon]

Thanks Sunny I appreciate your honesty:) I can understand that and I'll definitely put more thought into it. For me, my mindset is one of abundance, meaning that I know there are a lot of littles out there and I'm a patient person, so anyone not willing to accept my rules simply isn't a fit. But I'm willing to concede that things don't always go according to plan.

 

I just want what is best for her. So certain rules I don't want compromised.

[sushishui]

I feel like at least the making of the rules should always be negotiable; we are all, in the end, consenting adults, and it is our consent that makes BDSM safe.

 

I get where you're coming from, but I think there should be a few non-negotiable rules. For example: safewords. There should be no breaking of safewords under any circumstances.

 

That's the big one for me. I've said this before, but I generally expect my subs to disobey every once in a while. But I also want to have a rule in every relationship where I have a safeword which means "do not disobey, do not question me, just do exactly what I say." It's not the sort of thing I'd use very often, but in an emergency where the sub's safety is at risk and she doesn't realize it, I want to have it to fall back on.

[A&Ω]

I get where you're coming from, but I think there should be a few non-negotiable rules. For example: safewords. There should be no breaking of safewords under any circumstances.

 

That's the big one for me. I've said this before, but I generally expect my subs to disobey every once in a while. But I also want to have a rule in every relationship where I have a safeword which means "do not disobey, do not question me, just do exactly what I say." It's not the sort of thing I'd use very often, but in an emergency where the sub's safety is at risk and she doesn't realize it, I want to have it to fall back on.

That's a very insightful and often neglected aspect of any relationship. There have been times where it would have been helpful to have such a word. I'm extremely keen to my surrounding where others may not be.