Getting Attached Too Quickly

[Guest missamylittle]

If you're just speaking with someone new and things are going really well, the vibes are great, how do you prevent yourself from getting attached too quickly? Are there any rules of thumb I should keep in mind? Do you have any tips for putting your rational thought before flighty emotions? hahaha Thank you!   

[Osah]

I get super attached like that really wuick! This should help me to xD

[sunchaser]

Get attached. Be clingy. But be honest about it. Tell your Daddy that you're clingy and getting attached. In my very very humble opinion Daddy's should know that babies like us are clingy and emotional and we don't always put rationale over emotions.

 

Open honest constant communication is your best tool.

[Guest AmberDoll]

Try to think logically and really feel it out first before you go head first in goo goo ga ga land with someone, If you really like him let him know but try not to revolve around him. You really need to see if he has your best intentions in mind. I hope it goes well!     

[A&Ω]

As long as you're honest with yourself first about the reasons why you're so attracted, there isn't anything wrong with quick love. Love I'd one of the purest emotions we have. Embrace it. Just don't mistake convenience for love.

 

Don't fight the feelings. Be honest about it and let Daddy know your fear of getting hurt.

[Teenytinypanda]

Sometimes that's a very good thing too

I get attached like suuuper quickly! I used to be afraid of getting hurt too, but if you jist let it happen it might turn into something great - you never know if you don't take a leap and try

 

I said I love you to Daddy during the second week of us dating and it hasn't changed since

[Guest missamylittle]

Get attached. Be clingy. But be honest about it. Tell your Daddy that you're clingy and getting attached. In my very very humble opinion Daddy's should know that babies like us are clingy and emotional and we don't always put rationale over emotions.

 

Open honest constant communication is your best tool.

 

 

Okay! What about in terms of ta;king to someone new? Like before the actual relationship start and you guys are just getting to know each other.

[Guest missamylittle]

Sometimes that's a very good thing too

I get attached like suuuper quickly! I used to be afraid of getting hurt too, but if you jist let it happen it might turn into something great - you never know if you don't take a leap and try

 

I said I love you to Daddy during the second week of us dating and it hasn't changed since

 

Wow! You're leap is very inspiring! What a brave heart     

[sunchaser]

Okay! What about in terms of ta;king to someone new? Like before the actual relationship start and you guys are just getting to know each other.

Open honest communication. Tell him what you're feeling and what you see as your potential. Maybe I'm crazy but I've always found beating around the bush holds me back.

Edited May 8, 2016 by sunchaser

[littlelili]

Try to think logically and really feel it out first before you go head first in goo goo ga ga land with someone, If you really like him let him know but try not to revolve around him. You really need to see if he has your best intentions in mind. I hope it goes well!     

I agree with Amber.

Us littles tend to get attached super fast, but we have to take good care of our own hearts before giving them to someone we don't actually know well.

Be safe, be honest and be good ^^ that will always work!!

hugs x

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

I've known quite a few people who get clingy really fast and it almost is never good because they end up getting used and abused and brainwashed. My best friend has tried to commit suicide twice over a guy she was "With" for three months who was abusing her because he was still getting over a break up. No one knew they were together, he treated her like trash, I wanted to kill the bastard with how he treated her. They broke up and she's still obsessed with him. It's all she ever wants to talk about. I lost my Ex best friend because she didn't listen to me after she had gotten with this guy just after a week and I had major bad vibes about him (I'm psychic so these feelings can be stronger than most). He cheated on her with a psycho who tried to kill herself because he didn't want to leave my ex bestie for her. While The ex besite introduced him to pot, he introduced her to coke. There was a pregnancy scare. He was threatening to kill himself and emotionally and physically abused her. It ended when he went to her house, took her fathers gun and locked himself in the bathroom, threatening to kill himself in there. They broke up at that moment after the cops took him away. Same day she almost sleeps with a guy she had been talking to for awhile and now they live together in Arizona and she gave birth to a kid in February. She got pregnant after three months of being with him. She's happy now and I'm happy for her, but I can't be her friend anymore. The psycho ex she was with was her "Daddy" and she claimed to be a little despite making fun of me because of my dynamic with my Caregiver. She hated him because he actually gave a damn and put me before himself.

 

Regardless, I hope these stories help you be a bit more cautious about getting clingy. Ask someone you trust about them. Breathe for a moment and analyze your emotions and what you feel. Ask yourself if you can see yourself with them in a year. Make sure to look for red flags just in case and don't ignore them. Communication is key, don't be afraid to talk about your feelings. If it's going well I'm sure there are late night talks, is when they are more likely to open up emotionally. And just don't rush your emotions or the relationship. I get crushes all the time and they pass within a week (My best friend finds this hilarious because I move on super quickly and she says it's because I'm a scorpio) 

[Guest missamylittle]

Wow Lavander thank you for all those examples. Im sorry your friendship ended with that girl, but at least you have peace of mind now. 

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

Wow Lavander thank you for all those examples. Im sorry your friendship ended with that girl, but at least you have peace of mind now. 

Shit happens in life and you can't hang onto it. She's a lot happier and in a better place now. My family still talks to her and helps her out, but they don't understand why I won't be friends with her again. She hurt me a lot and I can't forgive her for that just yet. As for my current best friend, she's doing so much better and is actually building a new meaningful relationship with the same guy, he admits his wrongs and I told him if he tries to pull anything like that again he will vanish off the face of the earth and no one will know where he went.

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

How do you prevent yourself from getting attached too quickly?

 

This is a great question, and relevant to my life right now, so I'm answering with the guidelines I'm using, all of which were gleaned from this site. 

 

I think Princess-P put it best in her post New Relationship Struggles: "Its like my adult brain is saying 'be smart, get to know him more, how do you actually feel?' And my little brain is 'Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, DADDYYYYYY!!!'

 

 

Tips for putting Rational Thought before Flighty Emotions

 

1. Have a general idea of what you are looking for in a caregiver.  How will you know that you have found a perfect match if you haven't taken the time to define what you want out of a relationship?  Especially in this dynamic, where there are so many different types of littles and they all have their own interests.  Princessaj has posted some great info that every little in the dating scene should read, check out the likes she has received on her profile.  Her post in Rushing DDLG Relationships is especially helpful for creating an outline of what you want in a caregiver.  Once you meet a new person, you can use the outline as a guide to figure out if the potential caregiver is the kind of person you want a relationship with, or if they are just really good at online conversations.

 

2. Get educated.  There is a tremendous amount of knowledge contained in this site.  A good starting point is the Resources section, in this case Spooky's posts about Slow & Steady Wins The Race as well as Internet Safety 101 (because those flighty emotions might make us too quick to trust).  The topic A Thousand Suns has some great info from mylittlesidewearsblack about New Relationship Energy (NRE) and from DaddyJames98 about daddys naturally possessing a number of traits that littles find desirable.  

 

3. Pay attention.  When you are overflowing with happiness and NRE, it is easy to ignore your outline and explain away certain behaviors.  Be alert to the possibility that this may occur and learn the Signs to Look for When Searching for a New Relationship Partner.  Don't let yourself be led astray by funny comments or adorable compliments.  If you know that you are a person who falls victim to pretty words, design a test for all potential caregivers so that you don't fall for someone who isn't that into you. 

 

4. Enforce structure.  The hardest thing for me has been not immediately making a potential caregiver my go-to person for sharing my thoughts, feelings, and dreams.  It isn't a good strategy, because it is really easy for this to be one sided.  I'm trying to keep up my conversations with friends and family members, even though there is only one person I really want to talk to.  Mmuis1966 had a good idea in Immediately Attached: "If you're only online maybe even build in days with no contact. That will give you time to reflect and take things from your inner perspective rather than impulsively go with the wave of that moment."  Easier said than done...

 

And most of all, don't try to force someone to be something they are not.  If the relationship doesn't work out, be grateful for what you learned instead of mourning what you think you lost.