SO doesn't want me to be little...

[cottoncandyprincess]

So... I've been into ddlg for about 6 months. I'm really excited about it. It makes me happy, it makes me feel like I can really be myself. But my husband isn't comfortable with it.. He says every time he tries to be okay with it, it just pushes him away. I'm not mad at him, he can't help it and it's not right for me to be angry just because he's uncomfortable. Instead I'm just sad. Really really sad. I've even talked to him about me being little while he's away, and kind of keeping it to myself, but he doesn't seem to like that idea either. Please... If anyone can give me any advice it would be much appreciated.. I'm contemplating throwing away any little stuff I have and deleting any little accounts on social media. It's honestly been a really hard hit and I don't know how to cope. Thank you all for reading.

[littlelili]

Wow. This is hard. Because you're married and that means there was a beautiful meaningful relationship before you discovered DDlg.

I think relationships and marriage are all about finding an equilibrium.

It's not fair to push your husband to the point of awkwardness, but it's not fair for you to deny something you like a lot.

Maybe if you try to find an equilibrium between DDlg and what your hubs like? I mean, some things might be really hardcore for him and generated those rejection feelings, but if you both talk maybe you both can find a middle point you both feel comfortable with.

Maybe discussing some cute names, some rules, some stuffies , cute dinnerware etc etc... and leaving the more "advanced" stuff for the future.

I wish you both the best of luck!!!

Edited May 5, 2016 by littlelili

[cottoncandyprincess]

Thank you very much @littlelili. I hope we can find a mid-ground. It's just hard because I'm so much more into it than he is. I really appreciate your reply, I'm glad to know that people care

[Guest Bunny princess tiia]

I agree with littlelilli! I hope you will find a middle way. So hopefully you haven't get rid of all your little things. Talk to him and listen. I hope everything will work out in the end. Lots of love<3

[cottoncandyprincess]

Thank you @Bunny. I'm feeling a bit better now, I realize that I was overreacting a bit. I need to realize that he is my husband and he does want me to be happy. He loves me and I need to communicate with him, that's the only way we will get anything done. Thanks guys, I really appreciate you ❤️

[Willa14]

Hi cottoncandyprincess,

 

I don't know if it will be the same for you and don't mean to get your hopes up if it isn't... But this happened in the beginning with my Daddy too. He was more receptive to D/s and kind of wigged out by DDlg. He was trying to be supportive by reading blogs and doing research and buying me little supplies, but all of it made him uncomfortable - to the point that we quit too! And went back to trying to just be Dom and sub.

 

I didn't get rid of my stuffies though. Or cute nighties. And you know what? Little by little (no pun intended)... he got used to them.

 

It took about 9 months for us, but just a while ago we talked again and decided that DDlg was what fit our relationship best.

 

It took some time for DH to get over the initial pedophile-type awkward guilty connotations of it all and fully understand what the dynamic really is. And honestly, it did for me too. But now that we've found our groove, things have never been better!

[cottoncandyprincess]

Thank you very much littlebird. I don't think he sees it as a 'pedophilia' type way, he just doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of me acting like a child. I think he's worried that I will stop doing adult things and stop taking care of the house and such. He is more into D/s as well, and I'm hoping we can start off like that. I think he's just nervous and embarrassed because this type of relationship isn't seen as "normal" but he enjoys the aspect of being dominant so I think we will work with that first. As of right now he sees things such as pacifiers, sippy cups, dinnerware, and toys as 'too weird' so I hope we can work up to it. Thank you all for your replies