Feeling lost...

[Guest AmberDoll]

So lately i've been feeling really confused in my everyday life, I tend to be normally really dom like but recently i've been in little space constantly never really getting out of it and it's left me really confused in my everyday life cause i'm use to just being little when i'm home sometimes or off and on and mostly being very dom at work or everyday life and mature, it's left me really upset cause when i'm in little space i'm super sensitive and in my job I can't be, it's also effecting my love life I can't seem to find someone who is as experienced as me in being a dom and confident and able to take charge and it makes me sad cause I end up even in little space having to be more of a dom then the DOMS.....UGH...it's so confusing can someone please give me some advice.

[Willa14]

Hi AmberDoll. I'm sorry you're going through this! It is so confusing. It sounds sort of like myself a couple of years ago. I had to grow up at a VERY young age (like 9) and always take care of everyone around me. From then until 25 I worked multiple jobs, took on the dominant & caregiving role in every situation, etc - not because I wanted to but because no one else would step up. ? I don't know if that's how you feel but it's easy to become the glue that has to hold everything together you know?

 

Anyway. It took me many years and many failed relationships before I realized my true nature, or what I'd been lacking for so long, or whatever you want to call it... I didn't wrestle with it until I met my fiance, actually. HE stepped up. He challenged me. He would not take any of my bullshit tough talk or let me get away with anything! Haha. It was a real eye opener. I fought him for a long time, (poor guy, even though Id spent my life miserable the way it was) before my heart cracked open. And I could finally be myself. Finally be happy.

 

I still have MAJOR trust issues. I step on his toes all the time lol. But a man who is in fact more dominant than you DOES exist. Don't give up hope. And don't give up looking. I wish I had more advice for you on finding one... I got lucky. But no matter how dominant you are in life, there is always someone in the world who is even more. And it sounds like that's what you need!

 

If you could release a lot of that tension in a relationship, whether in the bedroom or total lifestyle, I think it would help you in your job and other areas too. You just need an outlet. I had complete panic attacks, personally, when I felt like I could NOT handle being in control of everything allllll the time. If you're not though, at home, it clears up a lot of that dominant go-getter energy for other places.

 

I hope this makes sense and helps even a tiny bit!

[Guest AmberDoll]

Thank you that helps a lot actually! it gives me hope, thank's so much for such a thoughtful reply! 

[Willa14]

Any time!!

[BunBunBubbles]

Hey there. I think we all end up going through at some point. Starting to think its some kind of weird Little rights of passage. It's very easy for some people to switch back and forth. I find though that when I'm really stressed I slip into little space more quickly. Kind of like a self protection type of deal. I know that probably not helpful. I'm still trying to sort my feeling myself but I thought it might help you to know your not alone.