How To Be More......Assertive?

[PrincessKaitlyn]

Hi everyone, I wasn't sure where to post this, but then I figured here was the best place.

 

So, I am a little, and I have a mommy. I've had multiple "daddy doms" that just used me, wanted sex, etc. One of them, I had for about 3 months, and he really emotionally abused me, as well as sexual abuse at times, but I didn't ever realize this because he was my so called "daddy", and I was new to this. I thought it was normal. I have already had anxiety my whole life, and this experience has made it worse, and has made it much harder to go into littlespace. 

 

And now I have a mommy, and she is actually a REAL caregiver, I can totally feel the real coming off of her hahaha. Well, I have been finding it hard to go into littlespace with her because I am worried she will hurt me the same ways my "daddy" did. How do I get over this and be more assertive with myself? There are times when we will be playing with stuffies, and I totally just break down crying and sobbing. Is this just a release of what happened the last time, and the way I am getting over it? Mommy is really, really good with comforting me, so she always knows what to do. But I am worried this crying will irritate her and she will leave. 

 

Also, I have a problem with "daddy doms" coming to me on my DDLG/CGL instagram, as well as through here and even my reddit, just wanting nudes. I tell them that I have a mommy, and they just go "Well, it's just a picture." I get so frustrated with myself, because I keep refusing, they keep pushing, and why won't they just take my no for an answer and leave me alone? Is there a way I can be more assertive with THEM and get them to leave me alone? 

 

I am so sorry if this is too much to read...I just didn't know where else to post this. I really just need some help right now. 

 

Thank you, 

PrincessKaitlyn xx

[Mr. Grinch]

Hi kaitlyn. Its unfortunate that you had terrible daddys. Those daddys pushing you foe nudes are not daddys they are just fuckboys using the pretense of DDLG as a method of getting you naked. Do not fall for thier treachery. They are disgusting fools whom you should pay no mind too. As far as being able to reach little space with your mommy small steps is what i would suggest! Slowly reintergrate yourself into little space. As long as you trust your mommy unconditionally intime it will come. Start out maybe by bringing your stuffie or coloring when participating with your mommy and from there slowly build up as your trust continues to grow. If you have a wonderful mommy communicate your fears with her and if she is worth her salt she will understand and help you along. Whatever you do be sure to be comfortable with it and dont push yourself to fast or to hard. Good luck i know you can do it.

[sushishui]

Littles (and subs as a whole) often have a strong desire to make people happy, even outside their little life. That's ok. That's wonderful. But you need to prioritize that desire. You should always make people happy in this order:

 

1. Yourself

2. Mommy

3. Other people

 

Of course most straight men are going to be unhappy that they don't get to see you naked. That's too bad for them. If they want to see women naked, they'll have to get in a relationship on their own, or just look at one of the millions of porn sites on the internet.

 

How do you deal with them? There's only one thing you need to say: no. Don't say "I'm sorry". Don't explain why. Don't even give them a second word. Just say no. Sing

ten times a day until you're comfortable with it.

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

I'm so happy you found a mommy! I think it would be good for you to let her know about what you've gone through so she can try to help you get past them. Relationships do take some time and it seems like she's willing to stick around. I don't think the crying would bother her much since she is trying to comfort you. 

 

As for the men on social media, block them. Block ALL of the ones asking you for such things. You don't need that in your life and they are nothing but pigs. They have an internet connection, so they can go look a porn or pay a cam girl. They don't need anything from you.

[cutie_patootie]

Kaitlyn... the fact you have found a Mommy who takes your feelings into account and genuinely cares about you and for you is nothing short of AMAZING and made me cry a little this afternoon.  Not your fault, it's just that I had an online Mommy last year but she abandoned me last May so with the one year anniversary approaching... I'm a little more emotional than usual.  But again, not your fault... you should revel in the fact that you have such a loving Caregiver!

 

If she knows about the abuse at the hands of your previous Daddies, I'm sure she has taken that into account and will be very patient with you.  After all, it's better to let it all out and have a good cry than to keep it inside until it boils over... usually at a most inopportune time (again, speaking from personal experience... in my regular life, not my little life).  Try to enjoy every day, every moment, every little adventure with your new Mommy to the fullest possible... enjoy yourself.  And if you need someone to listen... feel free to message me.

 

cutie_patootie a.k.a. Carly