QUESTIOS

[Guest daddy'ssweetpea]

I hope its ok for me to post this hear. Im new to this sight, Im a little and I have a new daddy. I have had them in the past but it was a long time ago ad ever worked out. So Now i have one and well hes super nice. But how can I help him know what to do cause this is his first time ad sometimes he does not know what to say when, or like doesn't pick up on my hints when I want his help. Im 3 when im in my head space so i think he just is not sure what i can do and what i need help with. But he also did not give me rules and should i be worried  about that he told me if i was bad he would not get me in trouble and honestly idk how i feel about that. anyway if you could give me ideas that would be great.

[Guest]

The best advice I can give you is to communicate. Only you can tell him your worries and what you want. If he is fairly new to this lifestyle it may take him time to get to where you want/need him. The only way he can begin progress is if you are totally open and honest with him about what you want and need.

Your best bet is talk to him when you are not in little space.

I hope this was helpful and good luck~

[sushishui]

Yes, tell him directly. Men are terrible at picking up hints.

[Guest]

I think that when you're both in adult space, he needs to be told, and made aware. Trust me, the discussion is a good thing, and you'll both be happier once he knows what you need, and he'll discover what he needs. Because to me it sounds like he doesn't know right now. The discussion will help both of you grow. Edited April 16, 2016 by Dave-Is-Metal

[Guest daddy'ssweetpea]

We talked about some of it, and he said as he gets more used to this,  he will in time feel more comfortable with some stuff, is it normal for it to take time for him to fall into this role? its hard cause some of the stuff i want right now but i dont want to push him to fast.

[NottsDaddy]

Anytime you start doing something new its going to have a learning curve; as long as it keeps developing and hes listening to you its nothing to worry about; feeling comfortable and safe is the main thing at the start.

[sushishui]

Not understanding it might be a factor too. I know I had trouble talking dirty to girls for a long time, because I couldn't understand why someone would want that. I still have that problem with massage.

 

If he learns more about it, it might help.

[DaddyJ]

Maybe you could write two lists:

 

- A list of things you expect from daddy (what you want him to do)

- A lists of things you expect from yourself (what you imagine yourself doing).

 

Your new daddy could also make both these lists from his perspective; hopefully this should prompt further discussion and shared understanding. Try to make the lists as long and detailed as you can. As mentioned by others, 'hints' are too easily misunderstood. For instance rather than saying 'daddy to make rules' perhaps you can find samples of rules you like (search these forums for good examples). Or if you don't want to be so prescriptive, indicate where you think rules could be needed (e.g. a bedtime rule).

 

Even if you have past experience in the dynamic, it can be beneficial to push yourself to verbalise your thoughts and wishes. We all tend to carry thoughts around in our heads until they become so familiar we assume they are obvious to everyone. Noting them down sometimes teaches us something about ourselves and leads to improvement in the way we communicate with others.

 

Take a scoop of patience and keep talking to each other.

Good luck :-)

[DaddyDaddy]

We talked about some of it, and he said as he gets more used to this,  he will in time feel more comfortable with some stuff, is it normal for it to take time for him to fall into this role? its hard cause some of the stuff i want right now but i dont want to push him to fast.

speaking as a newbie daddy, this seems absolutely normal.. or at least it was/is the case for me. not saying im exactly normal .

for me, the caregiver role just comes naturally. but might not be as natural to someone else. i find that i need more work on being the one who immediately takes charge of a situation, or initiates the ddlg play altogether. i found myself in a space where i was actually getting so anxious about doing things correctly, that i would shy away from the whole thing. ill have to agree with the post that mentioned how terrible men are at picking up hints lol. the more face to face discussion the better. take some time to write out what you both need and want out of the ddlg relationship. take my advice with a grain of salt..as i said im very new to this. but like anything it seems like research and practice will make all the difference.  

[WickedJax]

Bluntness is good for relationships. Tell him exactly what you want and need, be clear, concise. Show him.