Grown_up_Collie Posted July 20, 2016 Report Posted July 20, 2016 Omg, those are great! "How come oysters never donate to charity? Because they're shellfish." And the kinda really lame, but classic: "Two muffins sit in an oven. One turns to the other and says 'Is it hot in here or is it just me?' The other muffin shouts 'Holy crap! A talking muffin!'"
Guest weeniehutjr Posted July 21, 2016 Report Posted July 21, 2016 What did Jay-Z call Beyoncé before they got married? *SIGH* ...fiancée I'm so sorry. 2
Guest AelaPiggy♥ Posted July 23, 2016 Report Posted July 23, 2016 Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Littlemarlie Posted July 23, 2016 Report Posted July 23, 2016 This is my favorite joke!! Ok... What do you call a sleep walking nun? -A roamin' Catholic!
omgkate Posted August 1, 2016 Report Posted August 1, 2016 Why is having sex while camping so great? Because it's fucking intense. 1
Guest ~*~Sachita~*~ Posted August 17, 2017 Report Posted August 17, 2017 Why was the wizards girlfriend always covered in hickies? Because he was a neck romancer. Can a ninja throw a star? Shuriken. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. Can I please have more of this? Please?
Untwisted Posted August 17, 2017 Report Posted August 17, 2017 What do you call a deer with no eyes. No eye deer
dacgn Posted August 23, 2017 Report Posted August 23, 2017 What do you call a paralyzed deer with no eyes? Still no eyed deer (there's another no eyed deer one but can't put it on here ) Do you know any jokes about Sodium? Na Did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut. Found out I was colour blind the other day...... that one came right out of the purple! I used to have a job collecting leaves, I was raking it in. RIP boiled water, you will be mist. (I died when I first saw this one) A big cat escaped it's cage at the zoo yesterday. If I saw that I'd puma pants. (again dead) There's no I in denial 1
shadowrider Posted September 10, 2017 Report Posted September 10, 2017 One day, a man from the Czech Republic came to visit his friend in New York. When asked what he wanted to see, the visitor replied, "I would like to see one of the zoos in America." To his delight, the New Yorker took him to the Bronx Zoo. They were touring the zoo, and standing in front of the gorilla cage, when one of the gorillas busted out of the cage and swallowed the Czech whole. Shocked, his friend from New York quickly called over the zoo keeper. He quickly explained the situation and the zoo keeper immediately took steps to save the man's friend. The zoo keeper got an axe and asked the man, "OK, which gorilla did it? Was it the male or the female?" The New Yorker pointed out the female as the culprit. Quickly, the zoo keeper split the female gorilla open and found nothing of the Czech. He looked at the man from New York, who shrugged and said, "Guess the Czech is in the male." 1
Frog Posted September 12, 2017 Report Posted September 12, 2017 What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear. 1
##1°*BeDaddy'sGoodGirl Posted February 10, 2018 Report Posted February 10, 2018 People who love anagrams need to sort out their file 1
##1°*BeDaddy'sGoodGirl Posted February 10, 2018 Report Posted February 10, 2018 If I could share a pizza with any 3 people, living or dead, I'd probably choose the dead ones so I get all the pizza! 1
##1°*BeDaddy'sGoodGirl Posted February 10, 2018 Report Posted February 10, 2018 I have spent the afternoon re-arranging the furniture in Draculas house…… I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui 1
##1°*BeDaddy'sGoodGirl Posted February 10, 2018 Report Posted February 10, 2018 Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or me, or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu............But I think it's Colin. 1
##1°*BeDaddy'sGoodGirl Posted February 10, 2018 Report Posted February 10, 2018 Q. What do Mexican cannibals eat? A. Burritoes. 1
##1°*BeDaddy'sGoodGirl Posted March 1, 2018 Report Posted March 1, 2018 Hey, did anyone hear the news that scientists have actually been able to figure out the most common key that old pirate shanties were sang in? They found and analysed lots and lots of sheet music, that they suspect was inspired by all these old shanties, since all the music was written by people who are believed to have been former sailors or even former pirates. The interesting thing is that statistically speaking almost 90% of them are written in the same key. It’s not confirmed 100%, but it looks like almost all pirate shanties were sang in a high C...... 1
Angel24 Posted March 23, 2018 Report Posted March 23, 2018 My Daddy loves dad jokes so I made him a joke book One of my favourites from it is: people say they pick their nose but I feel like I was just born with mind.
Guest DomDaDa Posted March 28, 2018 Report Posted March 28, 2018 What's a Pirates favorite restaurant? Aaarrrrrrbys!! It's better if you hear me say it and I make a little hook with my finger.
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted March 29, 2018 Report Posted March 29, 2018 Why is a group of crows called a "murder" of crows? Because they have probable *caws*! 1
Little-one-xo Posted July 3, 2018 Report Posted July 3, 2018 Here's one my Daddy told me How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now