Guest Purple_Panda Posted May 30, 2016 Report Posted May 30, 2016 Whats a Doms favorite restaurant? Subway *nudge nudge wink wink* XD 1
Guest Lullaby Moon Posted May 30, 2016 Report Posted May 30, 2016 Whats a Doms favorite restaurant? Subway *nudge nudge wink wink* XD *PTERADACTYL SCREECH* 1
Guest AelaPiggy♥ Posted May 30, 2016 Report Posted May 30, 2016 Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection. Badum tss! 1
Guest AelaPiggy♥ Posted May 30, 2016 Report Posted May 30, 2016 What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey! 1
dnswd Posted May 30, 2016 Report Posted May 30, 2016 "I'll call you later." "Don't call me later, call me Dad"
dnswd Posted May 30, 2016 Report Posted May 30, 2016 Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.... Then it's a soap opera 1
dnswd Posted May 30, 2016 Report Posted May 30, 2016 You can't run through a camp site. You can only ran, because it's past tents
dnswd Posted May 30, 2016 Report Posted May 30, 2016 Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
Guest pearlpizza22 Posted May 31, 2016 Report Posted May 31, 2016 When I see the word polish I read it as polish but its polish and not polish this hurt my head
dnswd Posted May 31, 2016 Report Posted May 31, 2016 this hurt my head What about these? Read can be read as read or read. You can lead or be lead but you cant be lead. Read rhymes with lead and read rhymes with lead, but read doesn't rhyme with lead and read doesn't rhyme with lead. 1
dnswd Posted June 1, 2016 Report Posted June 1, 2016 Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the “p” is silent 1
dnswd Posted June 1, 2016 Report Posted June 1, 2016 Dad its so cold in there. Go stand in the corner. Why??? The corner is 90 degrees. 1
dnswd Posted June 1, 2016 Report Posted June 1, 2016 "Hey, dad, I'm running to the store, need anything?" No, I'm good but I really think you should walk, it's pretty far.
Guest algernon Posted June 2, 2016 Report Posted June 2, 2016 (edited) I told a little I shouldn't be buried in a graveyard. She asked, "Why not?" "Because I'm not dead yet!" What's the cutest fruit? A banana. It's a-peel-ing! A mushroom asked a girl to be his little, and she said no. He replied, "Come on, I'm a fungi!" A foreign mushroom asked a boy to be her little, and he said no. She replied, "Comes on, I am fungal!" Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it! What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. I asked my dad what his best dad joke was, and he said, "you". After she had a long, hard day, I thought my little might not have fun at playtime, or that she might not even show up, but she came. I told a little I shouldn't be buried in a graveyard. She asked, "Why not?" "Because I'm not dead yet!" What's the cutest fruit? A banana. It's a-peel-ing! A mushroom asked a girl to be his little, and she said no. He replied, "Come on, I'm a fungi!" A foreign mushroom asked a boy to be her little, and he said no. She replied, "Comes on, I a, fungal!" Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it! What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. I asked my dad what his best dad joke was, and he said, "you". After she had a long, hard day, I thought my little might not have fun at playtime, or that she might not even show up, but she came. Edited June 3, 2016 by algernon 1
Guest StainedBlack Posted June 12, 2016 Report Posted June 12, 2016 Why was the wizards girlfriend always covered in hickies?Because he was a neck romancer.Can a ninja throw a star? Shuriken.Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. 1
Guest algernon Posted June 12, 2016 Report Posted June 12, 2016 Can a ninja throw a star? Shuriken. Now that is one I've never heard. Well done, sir. These are some my dad likes to tell: What do call a man with no arms and legs laying on your doorstep? Matt Hiding in the bushes? Russell Going swimming? Bob Water skiing? Skip Hanging on the wall? Art Twins hanging by the window? Curt 'n' Rod 1
Guest AelaPiggy♥ Posted June 13, 2016 Report Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) Can a ninja throw a star? Shuriken. this is my favorite so far!! Edited June 13, 2016 by AelaPiggy♥
Johnny Hammersticks Posted June 13, 2016 Report Posted June 13, 2016 Okok... i gotta jump in on this. What did the one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots? 1
Guest QueenJellybean Posted June 15, 2016 Report Posted June 15, 2016 The other day, Beast said to me as I pouted with my arms crossed and eyes narrowed: "You should be careful. You know what they say about crossed arms. They might double cross ya."
Guest Zips Posted June 15, 2016 Report Posted June 15, 2016 Bahhahaha oh my god I'm laughing so hard. Let's see if I've got any good ones. What do you call a little that loves to play hide and seek? Heidi What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court? Annette Who are the nicest people in hospitals? The ultra-sound team. Who are the nicest people in hospitals when the ultrasound team is away? The Hip Replacement Team. How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
Ryan C. Posted June 16, 2016 Report Posted June 16, 2016 "Hey daddy, can you make me a sandwich?" "Abacadabra, you are a sandwich." 1
Guest algernon Posted June 17, 2016 Report Posted June 17, 2016 The other day, Beast said to me as I pouted with my arms crossed and eyes narrowed: "You should be careful. You know what they say about crossed arms. They might double cross ya." This reminds me: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again? He was a dirty double-crossed. What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen. What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter - he still won't come.
LoralieHaze Posted June 29, 2016 Report Posted June 29, 2016 I saw this on pinterest and I had to share it here. The caption said "ancient dad joke":
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