A Mommy/Daddy Dom With a Past

[Little Kat]

So, I am eager to be a Mommy/Daddy Dom, however, I am concerned with my instabilities. I'm generally nice, and sweet but I have my moments where I can be brutal and hurtful and not mean to be. 

 

My biggest issue is that I never get to know someone before being in a relationship with them, be romantic or Dom/Sub (it's sorta always been this way which is infuriating). 

 

I feel that if I'm open and honest about my instabilities I'll have a hard time finding a Little. Because I don't want to deal with my own issues so why would someone else want to? 

 

I'd appreciate any advice one would have about breaking the ice in this matter. Or what I can do to make it easier on me, or Littles I may meet. 

[arineunha]

you'll be surprised, i think it depends on the little. it might be true that some little shy away from doms with a past, some might actually be willing to understand your past. i think you should be nurturing but you should tell them like in the middle of the relationship, not too soon but not too late. so they have time to develop that connection with you, but they're still being told the truth. that's just my opinion

[daddyslilpeach]

I second the above post. 

 

My Daddy reads my posts, so he probably won't be too pleased I'm saying this, but him and I both have issues and I've found it makes it easier for him to try to understand me. I do try and understand him. I wouldn't want him any other way, even if he does struggle at times.

 

For example, a few days ago, I made a comment about a woman at his workplace who doesn't pull her weight and he took it as me insulting his work ethic (which is fucking phenomenal by the way) and blew up. Usually I would get very very upset for some time and my feelings would change as fast as lightening (Yay, BPD), but we talked it through. He misconstrued. 

 

So yes, it does depend on the little. I wish you the absolute best of luck in your search 

[Guest]

Lol, I can relate LilPeach hurrah for BPD

I suggest being open and honest about these things MissKat. While it's true it may be hard to find a little, it will help you find the right little. 
While you may be the caregiver you still deserve to be with someone who both understands your past and is more than happy you work on your instabilities with you.

I am on the opposite side of the spectrum. I am a sweet little who often lashes out, I can be incredibly hurtful and brutal, with BPD I am over it in a matter of seconds but the damage is still there.
Talking about these things with my partner has helped me heal so much. I am learning what causes these mood changes and how to deal with them in a healthy and effective way.
Please do not think that because you are a Caregiver, that you don't deserve the same understandings and respect. 

I also suggest taking your time in a new relationship. Pay attention to when you're getting upset, both and your little or potential little should pay attention. Give yourself time to grow and learn. 

I wish you the best of luck <3