Perverts Claiming To Be a Daddy?

[angelicnymphet]

There's been random perverts on the web pretending to be a daddy so they can take advantage of littles. What are the hints of a fake daddy?

[angelicnymphet]

Thanks for the info guys 

[Saki]

In addition to the practical advice posted above, I am sure you're aware that, as a sub/little, it is you who actually has the final say - it is your consent that gives a dom/daddy the control in the first place and nothing else. Anyone who tries to take that ultimate control out of your hands, by not honouring safewords for example, does not have your best interests at heart and you should get yourself away from that individual as soon as possible. Consent is the absolute minimum of respect. Ideally, for a relationship, you'd be hoping for more.

[EmeraldFaye]

In addition to the practical advice posted above, I am sure you're aware that, as a sub/little, it is you who actually has the final say - it is your consent that gives a dom/daddy the control in the first place and nothing else. Anyone who tries to take that ultimate control out of your hands, by not honouring safewords for example, does not have your best interests at heart and you should get yourself away from that individual as soon as possible. Consent is the absolute minimum of respect. Ideally, for a relationship, you'd be hoping for more.

People look at me like I'm crazy, but every now and again I like to remind everyone that "I am the submissive, and therefore, I am the one in control here..."

 

People cannot have power over you that you do not allow them to have.

 

End of story.

[angelicnymphet]

I just wanted to make sure that the littles that are new to this lifestyle should be aware of this, especially if they're sensitive.

[dd.simon.4lg]

On other sites I have found plenty of girls wanting to call me daddy but for purely sexual purposes. Ddlg to me is about much more than that.

 

It was only when I found this site that I found other people who genuinely shared what I feel.

 

While there are those who only look for a sexual thing there are so many genuine ppl here

[Little.Wolf]

Another big red flag is when "daddies" don't respect when someone, little or not, says no.

[Mojojojo1978]

I got this off Tumblr.

How to Spot a Fake “Daddy”

Unfortunately Tumblr is becoming filled with “Daddies” that don’t deserve to ever be called Daddy by any little, because these guys are just perverts/creeps in disguise. Here’s some ways to spot these “fuckboy fake daddies” as I like to call them, before they hurt you.

1. He asks for nudes and insists you do whatever he says within hours of meeting you.

2. Doesn’t give you structure. Doesn’t act like a Daddy. There are no rules. No bed times. Nothing.

3. His compliments exclusively focus on your appearance, so he says things like “you look great” and “your boobs are amazing”, but you never get a compliment on your personality or character.

4. Is suspiciously quick to punish you. You’re always being told you’ve “been a bad girl”, you always feel like you’re not doing enough to make him happy.

5. He’s only ever really engaged in the convo when he needs something. Other times he’s distant and barely tolerates you. You feel like you’re bugging him.

6. His profile icon is a picture of his dick, or of him shirtless, or something dumb like that.

7. He never really feels like your Daddy, the relationship feels empty and hollow. You still feel alone.

8. Calls you pet names so often that it becomes nauseating. Ends every sentence with “little one” and “princess” and “little girl”; it comes across like he’s trying too hard.

9. He doesn’t seem interested about learning more about DD/lg and BDSM. You won’t find him reblogging long text posts such as this on his blog (instead it’ll be 100% sexual content).

10. Can be very mean and hurtful when he doesn’t get his way. Doesn’t understand how sensitive littles can be and is quick to make harsh personal comments.

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

Ick. Okay, I'm a naturally bitchy person and come off as very abrasive. It helps weed out the "Tumblr Doms" as I call them. I can understand if one is a lot more soft spoken and sensitive, but you need to know the warning signs early on. I have often noticed people like this will try and treat you as THEIR submissive right away, regardless if you already have a Caregiver/Dom or not, sometimes they'll even ask to be a "Step-Daddy" Or "Uncle" or something like that. That's the first big red flag. You'll notice they only want sexual things or only talk to you when they are horny. They usually ignore the consenting talk before anything and just try to go straight into things. If rejected they can become very aggressive and mean. If it comes to that point, block them. If they start off trying to compliment on how you look, or I've even had cases where they commented on my religious belief as "Sexy", don't talk to them. Make sure to check their profile on any site you're on. If they have pictures of themselves naked, shirtless, or just their weird meat thing, it's a good indicator they just want sex because it's posted publicly. If they make 50 shades of shit references, RUN. It's not what BDSM is. If they flirt and call you pet names without permission, get angry if you don't respond right away, or are obviously talking to other people, don't give them attention. If it's an "Open Relationship" be VERY cautious about that. If they are offering money for nudes or anything, don't take it, they can go on cam girl sites for that. 

 

In all, just be aware of shady people. If you're unsure about a person, ask someone. I'll always offer my opinion if it's wanted. Most of this can apply for almost anyone you talk to online as well. Just please be safe and don't share yourself if you don't feel comfortable!

[Guest DaddyXavier]

Ick. Okay, I'm a naturally bitchy person and come off as very abrasive. It helps weed out the "Tumblr Doms" as I call them. 

 

Helps weed out everyone TBH.

[sushishui]

Helps weed out everyone TBH.

I found all of LavanderRabbit's warning signs to spot on. Sure, being a bitch or being abrasive is going to drive a lot of people away, but from what I've seen of her here, she's completely justified in it. I personally wouldn't even call this bitchy -- it's sensible.

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

I found all of LavanderRabbit's warning signs to spot on. Sure, being a bitch or being abrasive is going to drive a lot of people away, but from what I've seen of her here, she's completely justified in it. I personally wouldn't even call this bitchy -- it's sensible.

I don't waste my time on shitty people and I have enough in my own life to deal with, I don't need the stress of drama, which is why I originally left the forum. If someone doesn't like me, they can tell me and I wont interact with them.

[PrinceDaddy]

A real daddy always respects his little, and treats them right. Someone who claims to be a daddy and can't even do that, they disgrace the name 'daddy', they trample on what we're all about, they do us an injustice.

[Guest cookie_crumble_princess]

I ran across this article on tumblr - 11 Red Flags of an Abusive Dominant  

http://dominantlife.tumblr.com/post/51917130971/11-red-flags-of-an-abusive-dominant

[CuddleMonster89]

Rather that use the terms "real" and "fake", I prefer to use "respectful" and "disrespectful" since these terms are more descriptive and objective and its easier for people to come to a consensus on what behaviors are respectful and what behaviors are disrespectful. Anyone can choose to identify as a daddy (or mommy, or dom, or sub, or little, etc.), so the concept of "real" daddy vs "fake" daddy, (or "real" submissive vs "fake" submissive, etc.), and the distinction between the two is rather subjective and somewhat arbitrary.

 

And as a perverted daddy I dislike the implication that perverts and daddies are somehow mutually exclusive or implication that daddies with perverted/sexual dd/lg fantasies about littles are somehow wrong.

 

I think what you'd like to learn is how to spot a disrespectful daddy, which would be quite similar to learning how to spot a disrespectful person in general.

 

For example, the other day a daddy I met on reddit messaged me, wanting to talk about our shared kinks and bond and become friends. I'd like to make friends with daddies so I started conversing with him. After a few minutes he started asking me really personal and sexual questions. I answered with "I don't feel comfortable answering that right now, I just started getting to know you. I hope that's okay." He said fine and then immediately asked me how often I masturbated and continued asking me other sexual questions. From this I learned he did not respect my boundaries so I ended our conversation as amicably as possible and then blocked him on kik. I'd like to make friends with other daddies and littles, though from his actions I inferred he was below the caliber of person I would like to associate with.

 

In general, if a daddy (or anyone) makes you uncomfortable, you can tell them and set a personal boundary. If someone asks you a question you don't feel comfortable answering, or asks you to do something you don't feel comfortable doing, tell them you don't feel comfortable answering that question or doing that thing right now. If they get upset or try to pressure you or continue to ask you similar personal or sexual questions, that's a strong indication they don't respect your personal boundaries and most likely should be avoided. To learn more about boundaries I recommend reading "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Edited April 24, 2016 by CuddleMonster89