Tips/Suggestions for a first-time Daddy?

[Dessie]

Hi everyone!

Well my name is Dessie and I'm kinda newer to the community, but I just recently got my boyfriend to "branch out", so to say, to accommodate my relationship and life needs. Basically he agreed to become my Daddy! Yay! But he is a first-timer so he asked me to find him some websites, blogs, tips, or whatever I can get my hands on to make sure he's the best Daddy he can be. So far I found some pretty good stuff but it's harder on my own now that he's started working (*sad face* :c), so I've come to you guys for help! Keep in mind I was in a previously abusive relationship so my daddy refuses to do any sort of physical punishments (besides spanking. I kinda like it sometimes... hehe ^//^). But any and all advice would help greatly :3 Thank you all in advance x3

[Guest Padaddy9]

Hi Dessie. Good question and valid concern. I have met and befriended a few women who have been abused, mostly emotional/ psychological abuse, by a dom who was reckless in his care of her. It is an awesome responsibility and I advise him to not take it lightly, and I'm glad to hear he's seeking wisdom and understanding on the topic. I'm certainly no expert, but I would advise him to remember that his role as a dom/Daddy is one of service. I believe many make the mistake of taking the dominant role and becoming self serving in the position, and that's where people get hurt emotionally. He should seek to learn and know your needs through his role, and you his. It is a powerful and dangerous bond, but will be beautiful if done correctly and respectfully. :-)

[Guest]

I am going through the same thing! My Daddy and I are both fairly new to this lifestyle. First things first, congrats! I am so happy you are with someone willing to branch out to accommodate you and your needs! The fact that he also is aware of your past and wants to move forward in a healthy way is FANTASTIC!

What really helped us, was us both looking through others rules, rewards and things of that nature. From there we chose what we would like to bring into our relationship. There is no "right way" to be in a DD/LG relationship. You have to find what works for the two of you. There are so many alternatives to physical punishment; loss of phone or internet privileges (my least favorite yes most effective ), loss of tv privileges,  extra chores. 
I think it is easier to slowly implement new things into the relationship, find out slowly what works for you. Rather than getting overwhelmed by all the new changes.

Good Luck to both of you!

[Mojojojo1978]

Hello Dessie,

I am new to being a "daddy". But what has really helped me is my wife who is my little girl. She just recently opened up to me about this lifestyle and it makes sense after I think about it. I am glad that you told your boyfriend about your needs. Like I said, what has helped me most is my wife telling me exactly what she needs or is guiding me a little in this new "lifestyle" (not sure what to call it). I do agree that it is more than just sex and saying Daddy and Princess or little girl. It is definitely a way of life. It does help if the "Caregiver/Daddy" has that kind of personality already. For me it was a little easier to get into, because I already had that viewpoint that I was the caregiver. I always felt responsible for her and wanted to protect her and show her the love she deserves.

Websites like these are very helpful, especially for someone new. I would suggest that if he is really interested, he get on a forum like this and start asking questions and doing more research into it. At first I thought it was just that she wanted me to dominate her and punish her when she was bad, which by the way is not my thing. But after she started posting stuff on Tumblr (which has a good amount of information), it started to make more sense. For me it is foremost a caring relationship where I am the dominate Daddy figure that takes care of her physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I am in the same boat as your boyfriend, I will do the spanking, but other stuff sometimes scares me. But that too is all your preference. That is why you need to tell him exactly what you want from him as a Daddy. It all takes time and patience.

Everyone is different in their likes. Maybe spankings and other none physical punishments will work for you. But if you do need more harsher treatment, like being tied up, gagged, choked, then you need to tell him before both of you get to far into it and he can't handle it. But that is just my opinion.

Sorry for rambling on about this, but like I said I am new to this and I am trying to learn as much as I can. I love my wife dearly and would not want to lose her because I was not open minded about her needs.

Mojojojo1978