Question with her little space

[Zilfo]

I'm in the first DD/lg relationship I've ever had, and my little doesn't necessarily have a consistent little space. She's often in and out of little space, while I'd really prefer it to be a constant dynamic.

 

I don't want to make her do something she doesn't want, and I feel like I'm pushing her by trying to get her into little space too often. I talk to her like a little even when I know she's not in the head space. Obviously I should respect that, but it would be a lot more fun for me that way, I just don't want to annoy her. What about the rules I've set for her? Should I still enforce rules even when she's not in little space?

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

I don't think it's a good idea to force your little into a headspace if she's not feeling it. It will feel forced and not genuine at all. I think you can suggest small things like watching her favorite cartoons, baking, coloring, etc but as I've said before, I don't think you should force this upon her. As far as rules go, is that what she's comfortable with? You have to talk to her about it.

[Zilfo]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not forcing it on her, but I do like to try and influence it like you said. Maybe what I'm saying is that I'd like there to be a continuous, underlying dynamic that isn't necessarily the focus at all times. Following the rules I have in place, regardless of headspace, would allow for something like that. Does that make any sense?

[Guest Thomas]

Some people are little most of the time, and others aren't. There's nothing wrong with either, and I'd be surprised if it was something she'd be able to control or change even if she wanted to.

 

It's a great opportunity to get to know her better on a personal level, rather than just as a little. You may find you have more things in common than just an interest in DD/LG, and your relationship can only grow stronger. If you embrace this side of her rather than look for ways to change it, you might find it to be a positive thing after all!

[Guest Daddy's☆treasure]

It's not going to be possible for her to be in little space all the time because for one thing, there's always adult responsibilities that require attention. Even if she did want to be in little space more, its things like this that make it hard to do.

 

You can encourage her to get into little space, but of course you cannot pressure her into it. I'm sure her adult side is just as wonderful as her little side, and two of them together are what makes her who she is. I don't think one should be ignored in preference to the other. There are of course some littles who just are, or wish to be little all of the time but if that's not her then don't push it. Have a talk with her (after all communication is key) and see how she feels about all this. Being in little space is not something that can be forced and is often set off by a trigger be it a feeling, an object (such as a stuffie) or certain circumstances and/or surroundings.

 

I love being in little space with Daddy, but we have so much in common outside my little space as well that I wouldn't want to ignore that side of me. I like being little as much as I can, but I also enjoy Daddy getting to see and be with my adult side, too and us spending time as adults. I think we have a nice balance of the two.

 

Talk, talk, talk. I can't stress this enough. Communication is really important. Find out how she feels about all this.

 

Take care.

[Guest hislittlestar22]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not forcing it on her, but I do like to try and influence it like you said. Maybe what I'm saying is that I'd like there to be a continuous, underlying dynamic that isn't necessarily the focus at all times. Following the rules I have in place, regardless of headspace, would allow for something like that. Does that make any sense?

 

It sounds like you might want more of a 24/7 ddlg dynamic. I'd recommend talking to your little about that, if that's something she wants, the underlying dynamic you're talking about that's more at the center of the relationship and not just about play/little time. She could have a special word or phrase (sort of like a safe word) that she could use when she really needs to be in adult mode, or you guys could have one day a week that is purely an equal adult day. Those are ideas if she's interested, but wants a compromise between what you're both looking for. The best thing is to be open with what you want and need in a ddlg framework and assess those wants and needs of hers as well. You guys can't force something that both parties don't want. I'd say the best thing you can do is talk to her She might be open to having a submissive mindset more often, even if it's not 100% "little".

[SweetMarie]

I agree with hislittlestar22 in that maybe you and she can consider a more frequent D/S relationship with one another that has set rules. This would make for a more ongoing power dynamic between the two of you that can encompass the time you are together whether she is little or big.