Does everything change after you have kids?

[Tia]

I've recently found out that I'm expecting, daddy is really happy and I'm trying to be too, but I can't help being scared. It's like there's so many things I'm going to have to do differently, and I don't know how I'm going to manage to hide my little side and be a good mother. I'm really just having trouble accepting this and if anybody has any advice or suggestions please tell me

[Guest Thomas]

Just because things are going to change doesn't mean it has to be scary. Think of all of the incredible adventures you have ahead of you - starting a family is an amazing thing you're doing!

 

Realistically, some things are going to change - I don't know your personal circumstances but if you've been living together as a couple for a while, there will be an adjustment period to living with a baby as well. But for a little, just think of all the fun you can have playing with your child. I can only speak as a guy, but many, many new dads are excited to have a kid because it means they get to play with all their old favourite toys again! There will be times where you'll definitely have to be mum and be the grown-up, but there will also be times where you can play together and have fun.

 

At least, that's how I'd see it.

[Guest little domi]

Congratulations!! ... I had 2 girls of my own, and I was scared too.

 

I had to change how I thought of being a mom. I figured I'd have to be all adulty and boring, and the truth is... kids see through that anyway. I have been and still remain pretty closeted with my little side as far as all the "little accessories" one can have (such as special clothing and toys etc.), but there are always to keep the spirit of that part of you alive and well.

Kids love "big kids", and whenever the little part of me pushes the adultier side of me over, I just go with the flow. Over time, we've had a lot of fun setting up playdo stations, making experimental slime, building fairy houses (and actually believing the fairies will come live there), digging in the dirt (grownups call it gardening), coloring, cooking... It's all within a different mind-set when you have children. Yes, you ARE the guardian, but you also have more excuses to play than ever before!

Now that my kids are older, I've relaxed a bit with what I'm willing to share. Last Christmas (for example), I bought every one of my kids (all teens) goofy and fun, fuzzy, fleecy animal onesie jammas... including for me! I got to be an elephant!

So, my point is... Your new baby won't be the end of your little side, but the beginning of something pretty wonderful. ... and Also?  I know contemplating all the changes is scary, but you already know your daddy is good at his job. ...You got this!

 

[Princess-P]

I have a daughter (she's 5) and it does change the way you live the CG/l dynamic. That's doesn't mean that it goes away completely just that you have to have a lot of control over your little time and space. Sure you get a lot of play time i, when there a bit older, but new borns are a lot of work.

 

From my experience I breast fed, which meant I could be in the middle of play time or little space and have to snap out of it to be a mom. Your days are piled with having to run a house, care for a new born, cook, clean, and all while mostly exhausted.

 

I'm not saying this to make you worry, because it does get easier and you will eventually find a balance. But you should know that you will have to make some sacrifices. And its completely worth it.

 

The younger years are the hardest but, for me anyway, I find I got a lot if my little time back around age 3, when she and I could do a lot more together. Your still going to have to have that control over snapping out of little space, things happen like boo boos or discipline where your needed to be all grown up.

 

I dont want this to sound like a downer because its really not. Children are the best, and as long as your ready emotionally and mentally everything will be fine. And your littleness won't ever have to go away, but you will need to make a change.

 

Best of luck and congratulations

[Guest gypsyblue]

I was planning on popping in here and giving some examples of how I get to be little with my two kidlets (ages 6 and 7.5) but I see lots of people have already beat me to it =).  It really is true though, having children does change things, but at the same time it gives you the perfect example to be little too!  

 

I now have the perfect "excuse" to go see all the kid movies I want, we get to do all the fun kid things like children's museums and trips to the zoo, and mommy kiddo dates at ice cream shops!  When your child is a baby, you'll get to decorate the nursery any way you choose and you'll be spending a lot of time in there yourself so you'll get to enjoy it too!  (I did care bears for my son and they were totally for my sake).  

 

Being an adult and being mom will have to be a thing, but it won't be the end of little you.  And like dominique said, you already know your partner makes a good Daddy =)

[Guest Jennyanydots]

The first 3 months are complete hell, after 6 months, it's much easier, after a year, you'll be doing just fine. This is coming from someone who never wanted to be a mother. I think the responsibility sucks! There's so much my child holds me back from....BUT: NO ONE loves me more or treats me better than my nearly 5 year old. No one, even Daddy, is as patient or understanding with me. I have someone I know will never leave me and that is an extraordinary comfort. I have a playmate and someone who I can teach all the things I've learned and who teaches me more about myself than anyone else who's been in my life. There's no one I love more than my child. And my child will never love anyone quite the same as me. It's a unique bond between mother and child and unlike anything you will ever experience and even very unlike the bond between father and child.

 

Yes, everything changes when you have a kid. But you don't necessarily have to hide everything about being little from your child. Kids love to have someone who will play their games with them and color with them and snuggle and watch Disney. And when they get older they'll just roll their eyes and say "yeah, mom likes to color and watch cartoons" and that isn't necessarily something kinky, lots of adults act more child like now days - it ain't the 50s. Even when Daddy isn't available, your child will be! Now, I don't suggest ever going dully little around your child because that puts a burden on them. They need you to always be in charge. And that sucks....but just like your Daddy takes the responsibility of your care and is rewarded for it, you will be rewarded for taking responsibility of your child. There will be times when you have to be more adult than you want to be, but it will teach you a lot as well.