Boyfriend doesnt want to be daddy?

[alienlittle]

This is kind of a downer. Heh, sorry.

 

But Ive been dating my bf for almost 6 months now! I really love him. A few weeks ago, I told him full on about my lifestyle and kinks. He was totally down with it and it was all good.

 

When I was trying to explain to him about rules and all that, he was like "I don't feel comfortable with this." So I was like "Oh, okay. We don't have to be like this (aka ddlg) if you want". He just agreed.

 

That was a couple days ago and now he has fully revealed that he never wanted anything to do with it and he just lied to make me happy. I feel so sad now. And I also feel like I can't be my little self around him anymore. Idk what to do. Can anyone cheer me up or give me some advice?

[Guest Unknown]

Depends on where your happiness lies. Whether this ddlg thing is the way you can be yourself or you can still live the life you want without it. Your BF did the right thing by being honest and you did too. Things are not going to work out in the future if both partners cannot come to terms. I hope you will be able to decide for yourself, its the best advice I can give.

[Pure Heart Dom]

Well hi! :3

I'm sorry that this has happened to you

The only advice I can honestly give, is to tell you that you have to make a decision. Since you know his stance on ddlg dynamics, and you know yours obviously (hopefully lol) I see it as you have 2 options: 1) you can stay in the relationship you're in and renounce/suppress your little side or 2) leave that relationship behind and try to find someone who will embrace it.

Either one is a hard decision for you, I'm sure. If you stay, you'll be unhappy because there's a big part of you that can't be yourself around him entirely. It's going to make you feel trapped and scared of showing it; you're basically going to be sleepwalking through your relationship. On the other hand, if you leave, you're going to be sad because of all the memories you spent with this guy and etcetera, etcetera. Honestly, in my opinion, I think you're better leaving him, so you can attain true happiness; and having the capability of finding someone who won't shame or ostracize shades of you. I think if you chose to stay, it's for shallow and residual reasons that hold little significance in the larger scheme of your overall happiness, but I could be wrong. The decision is entirely yours, and I don't think anyone will vilify you for choosing either of the two. I hope I've given you something of use to you and I hope you don't misinterpret some of my advice as arrogance or mean (if you do, I apologize). I hope everything works out in your best interest friend! Take care! XD

[PastelKitten]

Hey,

So first off, I don't think that it's okay that he lied to you for so long, he made you all comfy with it and now he's just breaking it all down.

I'm not saying that he should play the dad for you, even doh he doesn't want to, I'm just saying that he shouldn't have set some false hopes.

I understand that it really hurts to know that you can't live your kinks, with someone you love, out and I really do hope that you'll be fine and can handle it better after some time.

Always feel free to add n' message me if there's something you wanna talk about!

[Pure Heart Dom]

Oh just a disclaimer: my first response on your thread is me assuming that ddlg is a HUGE part of your life and who you are as an individual. I know I shouldn't be assuming (I've made an ass out of you and me) and I apologize for that. The basis of my first message is supposed to be, if you can live without ddlg in your life then stay. If you can't, then you're better off leaving

[PastelKitten]

Well hi! :3

I'm sorry that this has happened to you

The only advice I can honestly give, is to tell you that you have to make a decision. Since you know his stance on ddlg dynamics, and you know yours obviously (hopefully lol) I see it as you have 2 options: 1) you can stay in the relationship you're in and renounce/suppress your little side or 2) leave that relationship behind and try to find someone who will embrace it.

Either one is a hard decision for you, I'm sure. If you stay, you'll be unhappy because there's a big part of you that can't be yourself around him entirely. It's going to make you feel trapped and scared of showing it; you're basically going to be sleepwalking through your relationship. On the other hand, if you leave, you're going to be sad because of all the memories you spent with this guy and etcetera, etcetera. Honestly, in my opinion, I think you're better leaving him, so you can attain true happiness; and having the capability of finding someone who won't shame or ostracize shades of you. I think if you chose to stay, it's for shallow and residual reasons that hold little significance in the larger scheme of your overall happiness, but I could be wrong. The decision is entirely yours, and I don't think anyone will vilify you for choosing either of the two. I hope I've given you something of use to you and I hope you don't misinterpret some of my advice as arrogance or mean (if you do, I apologize). I hope everything works out in your best interest friend! Take care! XD

 

I actually think that this is..

God this is just horrible.

DDlg, I mean yeah it's a big thing for some people but it's still a kink and I don't think that you gotta leave someone you love for that.

That's like shaming the other person for not being comfy with it, and in the future they'll lie to their partners again and again, so they don't leave him.

I think THAT is what's going to happen.

Obviously, he cares about her a lot, that's why he did all of that, so I don't really think there's a reason to leave unless she doesn't love him for that anymore. (And I don't think she doesn't)

[PastelKitten]

I'm sorry if that sounded a bittle passive aggressive!

[Pure Heart Dom]

Lol its okay, I'm not offended

However,he WASN'T honest about it at first, just trying to spare her feelings. And he it's not about leaving someone you love, it's about leaving a relationship that will not make you feel truly loved or satisfied. It's all about where the happiness lies, and if it's in ddlg, then staying in a relationship without it is no good for either party

[creababycat]

This happened to me too.

 

When I found out about dd/lg I was like: Omfg I am not weird this really is a thing. For me it's not just a kink it's who I am! It makes me so happy and helps me every time I feel sad.

 

My boyfriend, he doesn't like it. He doesn't understand why it's so important for me and why an adult would want to suck on paci's and bottles.But you know what, both of them make me happy. I love my partner so much, but I have the same feeling for the dd/lg lifestyle. He don't want to have anything to do with it so he doesn't. I am a little when we're not together (when I'm alone) or when he is doing something for himself: Gaming. And why can't I do my thing (hobby) while he does his? I mean he likes gaming, I don't. I like coloring and playing with stuffies, he doesn't.

 

Why would it be a problem? We love each other so we give each other some own interests, space and time to do the things we like. This means I am a stray but I have a partner. I can entertain myself!

 

Hopefully this will help a bit, you don't have to make a choice. You CAN have both. If you guys love each other enough.

 

Good luck! <3

[Little_Ghoul]

This happened to me too.

 

When I found out about dd/lg I was like: Omfg I am not weird this really is a thing. For me it's not just a kink it's who I am! It makes me so happy and helps me every time I feel sad.

 

My boyfriend, he doesn't like it. He doesn't understand why it's so important for me and why an adult would want to suck on paci's and bottles.But you know what, both of them make me happy. I love my partner so much, but I have the same feeling for the dd/lg lifestyle. He don't want to have anything to do with it so he doesn't. I am a little when we're not together (when I'm alone) or when he is doing something for himself: Gaming. And why can't I do my thing (hobby) while he does his? I mean he likes gaming, I don't. I like coloring and playing with stuffies, he doesn't.

 

Why would it be a problem? We love each other so we give each other some own interests, space and time to do the things we like. This means I am a stray but I have a partner. I can entertain myself!

 

Hopefully this will help a bit, you don't have to make a choice. You CAN have both. If you guys love each other enough.

 

Good luck! <3

Creababycat, I was going to say something similar.

 

Alienlittle, I heard someone say once "that the first big we always have is ourselves". This means that no matter what the first person who should take care of you is you. There are going to be times when your bf isn't there, even if you don't break up. That's life. All you need to be a little is to be a little ( i.e. you don't need a big).

You can color, take bubble baths, eat little food, and watch little things by all by yourself.

Now would having a big make things better? Who's knows, I'm not you.  I do know that for me it does. Does that mean when my big is gone I stop doing little things? No. I just do it differently.

So here's another position, be your own big.

 

I hope no matter what choose you stay true to yourself, in love and in littleness.   

[creababycat]

Creababycat, I was going to say something similar.

 

Alienlittle, I heard someone say once "that the first big we always have is ourselves". This means that no matter what the first person who should take care of you is you. There are going to be times when your bf isn't there, even if you don't break up. That's life. All you need to be a little is to be a little ( i.e. you don't need a big).

You can color, take bubble baths, eat little food, and watch little things by all by yourself.

Now would having a big make things better? Who's knows, I'm not you.  I do know that for me it does. Does that mean when my big is gone I stop doing little things? No. I just do it differently.

So here's another position, be your own big.

 

I hope no matter what choose you stay true to yourself, in love and in littleness.   

 

Very good! You are right, also when you need help with learning how to be your own big people here can!

(Like rules, punishments, treats etc.)

[SickLollipop]

My bf and I have been together almost 7 years now and he has never really been able to be a Daddy figure for me. Luckily he's understanding and loving enough to accept my desires, and my need for a Daddy/caregiver. ^.^