Found out younger sister is interested in DDLG

[Littlest_Lushie]

I surely hope that this is the right place for this, but I'am very confused and I'm not quite sure how to go about handling this... its been disrupting me emotionally ever since.

 

A little bit of background for me- I've been a little for going on 3 years, and have a wealth of knowledge about the topic and other bdsm related topics. 

 

Today I was on facebook, scrolling as normal when I saw my sister reposting images that you would commonly see on tumblr (i.e. cutesy pink photo with the words "Spank Me Daddy" and another image of kitten collar, tail, and bdsm stuff.)

 

Now, I'am almost 20- so being in this lifestyle is legal and I feel as if I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

My younger sister is 15- I understand that with the internet being so accessible now adays its easier to find what you are into at an early age. Age of consent where I live is 18. I had spoken with her and confirmed that she is into this type of dynamic- and the only things I said to her were 1. I advised her not to post it on facebook for the world and family to see... (she claimed that she is into it, but a friend dared her to post it) 2. I support and don't judge her- and I'm here if she has any questions. I did not tell her that I'am a little, I just told her that I know a lot about this type of thing. My mother did see these images, and as far as I'm aware commented "That is not right." and "What the hell?" on them. BDSM is not something that underage individuals should try to involve themselves in- and I'm just not sure where to go from here.

 

I'm not sure why, but I feel SO weird about this and I'm not quite sure how to go about this at all. I'am by no means condoning underage activity in bdsm or the like. And I'am very aware that if this is not addressed properly legal issues may come about if she chooses to find a "Daddy" that is not exactly genuine. Heck, adult littles run into some false/poor attituded Daddies... I do not want to see my sister fall into this is sort of situation. I do know that she enjoys talking with men on the internet well over 18+ (20-30 yrs old) but my mother sees no issue with it because they are far away and chances are that they won't visit. But, thats another topic for a different time despite the fact that that is bothersome to me highly. 

 

I really, really am not sure what to do. I feel so weird and just anxious to the point of it disturbing my mood...

 

Should I tell her that I'am a little? Should I inform my mother/father of what my sister is blindly walking into? Should I advise my sister to wait til legal age and explain the legalities of this sort of thing? or should I just leave her be?

[Vatisbabygirl]

You should definitely talk to her about it. For my personal experience,

I wish I had someone who could be there for me and accept me for what I like and am into. Ask her questions, and she'll ask you questions I'm sure. Don't be afraid to tell her that you are also a little, she might trust you more, and be more open about things, and go to you for help or questions no one may be able to answer. As a little who was underage (now 18) I really wish I had someone to look up to, and help me understand why I like this and that I'm not alone and everything. I think you should really try and talk to her and tell her how it makes you feel, and how do you know if you don't try?

 

I hope this helped, and please keep us informed! I would love to know how it works out ❤

[Cigna]

I've absolutely no experience in this, but having a support structure in much of any interpersonal situation is a great step in the direction of avoiding pitfalls. Personally I'd say just sit her down and find out what she thinks the expirence of being a little is; try to understand what she's after in it, but don't come forth directly and say "i'm a little too", not at first anyway. You want her to be comfortable talking to you about it, that way when something goes wrong, you can interject and help her through it.

I would seriously avoid telling your parents about it though... not only does that sound cringe-worthy levels of awkward, but your sister would probably resent you for it.

In short: as with most things, open communication is probably the best route here. Good luck!

[Littlest_Lushie]

That did help. I would like to talk to her about it- but I also don't want to encourage this behavior in her. She has been known to be sexually promiscuous and has a couple of pregnancy scares. So, I can only put together from knowing her all these years that this is something sexual in nature for her. I do not want to give her the impression that involving herself sexually in BDSM is okay right now, because it is not. Shes proven that she can't be safe when it comes to sexual activity, and sending revealing photos to older men on the internet on mulitple occassions has me apprehensive to help her get into the dynamic more. She is young and impressionable and has already been manipulated/abuse in the past- a false Daddy of sorts could do the very same thing because their are plenty of people claiming the daddy title without genuine intentions. And she is the type to do things on her own and not take advice from those who know better- but I suppose thats how people learn. 

 

Cigna: You are quite correct, a support structure could be very crucial in helping her avoid pitfalls. The only reason I mentioned telling my parents about it, was that my mother and a lot of the family has already seen the posts my sister had placed online. My mother is probably confused and I thought maybe since I don't live with my sister (my mother and sister live about an hour away and I don't see them as often as I'd like.) that my mother could somehow discourage the behavior of talking to very much so older men online or at least discourage the posting of such inappropriate things on facebook. Which is concerning for me, but if my mother sees not huge issue in this, then their is not a lot that I can do.

 

Open communication is crucial, I would agree. This is the case for most types of interactions. I will admit, I'am quite weirded out by it and I'm not sure how to handle it. Its emotionally stirred the pot and its just unsettling. But, I agree that I could help her, as long as I establish a sort of trust first. My sister and I aren't very close, but this gives us a chance to be closer I suppose.

[LittleGlenn]

You have already shown that you care a lot about your sister and it's great that you gave her advice on not to post such things in social media. 

I think advising your sister to wait till she is of legal age is a great choice here. And if you are open to it you can offer her advice if she has any questions about the subject.

But if you have any suspicion that she is starting to interact with people in real life or anything of the sorts I would maybe tell your parents that she possible interacting with people that are 18 y/o and older. This would be for her own protection and you don't need to mention dd/lg. 

 

This is just my view on it! feel free to disagree and i'd love to read other peoples advice on this.

[Littlest_Lushie]

I do care about her LittleGlenn, its just SO frustrating because she is at that age where she does whatever she wants and doesn't take any advice. I mean, thats how she learns- but its still very frustrating to see her make these poor choices. Not saying that liking ddlg is a poor choice- I just mean other choices she as a 15 year old has made.

 

I think it would definitely be worth mentioning about the legal age, but I don't expect that she'll listen anyway. I would definitely discreetly inform one of my parents if I did suspect that she was going to physcially meet anyone off of the internet. 

 

I do agree definitely, and I'm enjoying seeing peoples perspectives on this- because I have no idea how the heck to feel about this! I hope others input their opinions as well.

[DaddyJsPrincess]

I'm glad you're close enough to your sister that you would consider talking to her about this. It will be extremely positive for you both. Teenagers are....gonna be teenagers.

 

I discovered DD/lg at about the same age. Of course, *hmhm* years ago, it was kind of an obscure corner of BDSM, and it definitely didn't have a whole aesthetic following it around like it does today...

 

Definitely let her know you're a little, and hopefully that encourages her to ask you questions and open up a bit about what she has already researched. And it might not hurt to share/make up a Daddy horror story or two to tell her. If she's volunteering information, try not to lead your questions negatively (i.e., you've never had an online Daddy, HAVE YOU???) and whatever you do BE COOL. Obviously if she tells you anything that sounds the creeper alarm, you know what to do. But try to chill out and listen to everything she has to say before taking mom or dad aside.

 

I really hope this helps <3 please let us know how things go!

 

[BeardDaddy]

Fact is, regardless of whether you talk to her or not, if she really is interested she will continue to research and be active online whether you like it or not.

 

In those cases, I find it's always better to be involved so you can help guide it.

[Littlest_Lushie]

Thank you so much to everyone whom has responded. Your replies helped a whole bunch!

 

Well, this past weekend I was at my fathers to celebrate my birthday and my sister was there. I got there and for a few minutes everything was fine. Went up and gave my sister a big hug, and something seemed off so I asked her if everything was okay. She asked me to speak to her privately and so for an hour and a half I did. She had told me some personal things that had happened, and confided in me. Luckily, the situation in which she was talking about led me into a great way to bring up Dd/lg and bdsm. 

 

So, long story short. She knows that I'am a little. Steps are being taken to curb her promiscuous behaviors. And I hope to be spending some time with her at least once a week, seeing as I live an hour away from her. She looks up to me more than I could even imagine. And I think that my influence there for her would be a HUGE help for her, my mother agreed. 

 

I was so PROUD and HAPPY that she did a ton of research, and she seems to know a lot more than even I gave her credit for. I warned her about the legality aspect of bdsm/ddlg and even how she interacts with it on social media as well.

 

I really feel like I bonded with her and was very, very happy that her and I could share such a neat thing. Thank you everybody for all of your help. I can send her links to things on here to help her learn even more, but I surely will ensure that she does not become a member due to the restriction for membership being placed at 18.

 

Thanks again, guys.