Keeping things new and exciting

[laaaaureeenn]

How do you guys keep your romance alive? What do you guys do together? How do you change things up in the every day boringness of life? 

 

I just feel like I need some ideas of how to revamp things and change things up a little bit sir and I have been getting into arguments and fighting every so often and I just want things to go back to how they were when we first met, after spending so much time together and living with each other we have just seem to fallen into this bitterness circle and it tears me apart. I do love him so terribly much and I don't want things to ever end but they have been falling downhill quite recently. 

 

SO, if you have suggestions on what do you it would be highly appreciated.  

or if you have any ideas/ways you guys deal with bickering. I just don't want to fall into the trend of my parents who bicker every single day and I want to stop it now. 

[Guest Daddy995]

Well first of all i'd like to say that i'm no expert in relationships, but here's some of my opinions:

 

First of all, things will never be how they used to be. There are only two possible outcomes. Either this relationship will crumbel if it continues on this path OR things will be better then they ever were if u 2 overcome this obsticle.

 

Secondly, bickering can be caused by several reasons, but that's not important. The important thing is how to solve it. In my opinion the most imprtant thing is to really listen to ur partner and validate his/her point of view. U should stay calm and polite throughout the conversation although it may be really hard at times. Offcourse there will be disagreements in relatinships , but it's important to be specific as to what u disagree with so u won't be missunderstood.

 

So what do i think u should do?

I think you should sit down with ur partner and tell him how u feel , really talk to him and be understanding.

 

As for how to change things up that's really easy. U two have probably fallen into a rutine, it's key to get out of ur comfort zone and try something new. I'm sure you have things you want to do, both sexually as in general, so just bring it up with him.

 

Well that was me just rambling about my opinions. This may not be helpful, but at least i gave u some reading material for when you're on the toilete

[laaaaureeenn]

We always seem to get over it, but it just takes a little bit, and thank you actually i thought it was a really good answer and I am definitely going to try those things!! 

 

Well first of all i'd like to say that i'm no expert in relationships, but here's some of my opinions:

 

First of all, things will never be how they used to be. There are only two possible outcomes. Either this relationship will crumbel if it continues on this path OR things will be better then they ever were if u 2 overcome this obsticle.

 

Secondly, bickering can be caused by several reasons, but that's not important. The important thing is how to solve it. In my opinion the most imprtant thing is to really listen to ur partner and validate his/her point of view. U should stay calm and polite throughout the conversation although it may be really hard at times. Offcourse there will be disagreements in relatinships , but it's important to be specific as to what u disagree with so u won't be missunderstood.

 

So what do i think u should do?

I think you should sit down with ur partner and tell him how u feel , really talk to him and be understanding.

 

As for how to change things up that's really easy. U two have probably fallen into a rutine, it's key to get out of ur comfort zone and try something new. I'm sure you have things you want to do, both sexually as in general, so just bring it up with him.

 

Well that was me just rambling about my opinions. This may not be helpful, but at least i gave u some reading material for when you're on the toilete

[StarEyed]

I'm not expert on relationships either but this is what I know. When having an argument you both need to talk in a constructive manner instead of a blaming way. Use words like "I feel", "this hurts me", "maybe we could" instead of saying "you make me feel" and "you didn't do X". When you're hurt or upset it is easy to subconsciously getting into a blaming mindset. Especially when you feel like you're the only trying to keep the relationship together. Talk about your feelings and then talk about how to fix them. Suggest that you make time for each other if you feel like the two of you don't spend enough time together. Set up dates, no one is ever too old to go on a date. Set up chore lists. Anything and everything that is a problem needs to be communicated constructively and equally though. If they try to shove your feelings away or ignore the problems you have to stress that these things need to change to better your relationship. If they are still not interested in fixing things and maintaining the relationship you need to think about if it is even worth being with someone that isn't willing to help pull their weight. It takes 2 (or more) to keep a relationship healthy.

 

As far as "breaking out of boring"... Nothing is going to bring back the first time you met. But there are fun things you can do. Go on a date where you roleplay and pretend you don't know each other. Take a car ride and just talk about silly stuff, your thoughts on life, or even just people watch as you drive. Tell him to surprise you with flowers every now and then or surprise him with something that he would like. If you can meet up with him for lunch at work. The smallest things really do make a difference. Just like sand passing over a giant stone can wear it away over time, small acts of love can keep a relationship going forever. And don't be scared about being boring and in a routine. It just means you're comfortable. Keep doing small things and communicating with your partner and hopefully in time you'll see improvements. Just saying I love you at a random time can really brighten someone's mood.