Some information about punishments

[LittleMeredith]

Helly everyone (◕‿◕✿),

 

So i'm really new to the dynamic and have not yet found a caregiver, but that's not what this is about.

I really wonder what people have as punishments, since personally, (according to all the videos i've watched they can be pretty harsh, even with physically touching someone) i feel like some punishments can be really tough. Again i'm new to this, but i still can't really appreciate the idea of punishments, is this weird? I usually don't like being told what is good or right (but then again i've never been punished by a daddy or what else). I have a hard time explaining my feelings here but i would just like to know if other people felt a bit icky by the idea of punishments, and if there are maybe littles who have really lightweight punishments.

 

(Also why i am asking this, i have had communication with other daddys and it was kind of a FAQ which i just left unsanswered because i don't know myself).

 

Any help is appreciated, thank you.

 

- Meredith ｡◕ ‿ ◕｡

[NottsDaddy]

Well there can be variety of punishments used and I would think for a lot of people it would depend on what it was for and how their individual dynamic worked for them. So it could be things like corner time or not being allowed to play for some misdemeanors or it could be spanking or something harder for worse occurances.  The point of punishments is they are not meant to be fun, otherwise they wouldnt work that well.  Obviously people will have different idea about this sort of thing but for me lack of punishment rather makes a mockery of the basic concept of the dynamic and essentially means Daddies (or Mommies) are left only with the options of talking about bad behaviour  or walking away. 

 

A good thing about punishment that is often overlooked is it helps you draw a line under a problem; something happens, you can talk about why it happened perhaps and then assuming you get punished its done and dusted and you can move on.

[Pure Heart Dom]

Oh herro! : 3

I posted on a similar kind of thread about brats and what it means to be bratty. As my friend above said, it heavily depends on the party involved and their specific dynamic, as well as the offense itself. Punishment can vary from non-physical to physical and the severity depends as I said. The idea behind punishment (or at least my philosophy lol) is that it reinforces love and dominance in the submissive's heart and mind. A dominant's life work (as a dominant in a power exchange relationship) is to better and build up his/her submissive to the best of their ability. As a dom, that involves making sure they are safe and protected from anything that may harm or hinder their growth...INCLUDING THEMSELVES. Punishment serves as a boundary, if you will, kinda like a "no tresspassing" sign to tell the sub that he/she is heading into dangerous territory and there are consequences for such things. At least I believe that's why punishment is awesome and necessary. And why it works! :3

Well that's my mouthful for the day, I hope it helps lol! Thank you for the thread to post on!

[Tia]

It really just depends on who the dom/daddy is and why the little is being punished. Personally my daddy only gets physical if I've done something that is really stupid or potentially dangerous, even then he doesn't do anything besides spanking and he always makes sure I know he loves me afterwards. But if I've just been rude or been a brat he normally gives me a time out or the silent treatment, or won't cuddle me or anything until he feels like I've learned my lesson.

[jellicle baby]

spankings are common, but when I do something bad sometimes I lose computer/tv time or my bedtime gets earlier. Time outs are an option, too. But making sure your baby knows you love them is a big deal also. 

[A Cuddly Dom]

 Discipline in an integral part of the DD/lg dynamic, in my opinion. The Caregiver is there to provide support, encouragement, guidance, love, affection, and direction so that the little can grow as a person. Without any means of discipline on hand to correct bad behavior or decisions, the Caregiver is severely hobbled. This is true in any Power Exchange relationship, whether it's DD/lg, D/s, or Gorean TPE.

 

 Now, with that being said, as has been mentioned above, there are many different kinds of punishments out there. It can be as simple as a time out, losing certain activities or being denied things such as sweets. Writing lines is a popular punishment, or even full essays on why the action was bad behavior and how the little will go about changing that behavior. I haven't met anyone yet who enjoys writing a statement over and over again; it's very effective. Also, it does provide the little with the opportunity to really think about what he/she has done to get that punishment in the first place. Time outs, I feel, might only give the little time to stew over the whole thing and not really reflect on the incorrect action i.e. "Daddy's just being a poopy head! Why can't I shave the cat!? >:)" Funny example, I know, but you get the idea.

 

 Don't let the internet or other outlets determine your punishments, either. Just because spankings, paddling, or canings are considered acceptable in other's relationships doesn't mean you have to submit yourself to that kind of discipline. This is where it is important for you to know your own limits and discuss them at length with your partner. Some rather common punishments could be triggering for certain individuals. As an example, it is a common practice in the Gorean lifestyle to punish a slave by having him/her imprisoned in a cage or crate for a period of time, or be forced to sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed rather than enjoy the warmth of their Master/Mistress. For most littles, this would be extremely harsh, cruel, and perhaps even traumatizing. If your partner suggests a punishment that is new, you have the right and responsibility to let them know if that punishment is too harsh, or could cause you harm i.e. a hard limit.

 

 If you're having trouble dipping your toes into the punishment pool, try starting out with lighter fare and avoid the physical discipline right at first. Try things like writing lines, being denied your favorite dessert, or other light punishments. Keep the lines of communication with your partner open and honest at all times. If something makes you uncomfortable, say something to him/her. In the DD/lg dynamic, I feel that the first focus a Caregiver should have is the health and happiness of their little, so you should fully expect your partner to listen to your feedback and discuss your concerns in detail. If you feel like something isn't working, let them know, and try to find another activity that might be more suitable.

 

 I hope this was helpful.

[StarEyed]

I'd like to throw in that for a lot of littles/middles/etc just knowing that you've disappointed your Daddy/etc paired with a non-physical punishment like not going on a date you've been looking forward to or a trip somewhere can be worse than a physical punishment. But I agree with everything stated above me. Punishments fit the crime. If say you do something that could potentially be harmful to you, like for instance drinking too much alcohol at a party when you're alone, a more severe punishment like a few swats on your butt would certainly remind you never to do it again. Just like with teaching a new pet something, punishments are there to teach you and not only that but they are tailored to your needs and wants. If you don't like spanking then you don't get spankings when you've been bad. You hold the power just as much as the Dom/Daddy/etc has. But always be respectful of your power... Don't try to get away with things if you aren't willing to take the punishments. Or if the punishments aren't preventing you from doing bad things, don't be surprised if they become more intense. Daddy will show you respect and in return you need to try your best to show him respect too.

[LittleMeredith]

 Discipline in an integral part of the DD/lg dynamic, in my opinion. The Caregiver is there to provide support, encouragement, guidance, love, affection, and direction so that the little can grow as a person. Without any means of discipline on hand to correct bad behavior or decisions, the Caregiver is severely hobbled. This is true in any Power Exchange relationship, whether it's DD/lg, D/s, or Gorean TPE.

 

 Now, with that being said, as has been mentioned above, there are many different kinds of punishments out there. It can be as simple as a time out, losing certain activities or being denied things such as sweets. Writing lines is a popular punishment, or even full essays on why the action was bad behavior and how the little will go about changing that behavior. I haven't met anyone yet who enjoys writing a statement over and over again; it's very effective. Also, it does provide the little with the opportunity to really think about what he/she has done to get that punishment in the first place. Time outs, I feel, might only give the little time to stew over the whole thing and not really reflect on the incorrect action i.e. "Daddy's just being a poopy head! Why can't I shave the cat!? >:)" Funny example, I know, but you get the idea.

 

 Don't let the internet or other outlets determine your punishments, either. Just because spankings, paddling, or canings are considered acceptable in other's relationships doesn't mean you have to submit yourself to that kind of discipline. This is where it is important for you to know your own limits and discuss them at length with your partner. Some rather common punishments could be triggering for certain individuals. As an example, it is a common practice in the Gorean lifestyle to punish a slave by having him/her imprisoned in a cage or crate for a period of time, or be forced to sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed rather than enjoy the warmth of their Master/Mistress. For most littles, this would be extremely harsh, cruel, and perhaps even traumatizing. If your partner suggests a punishment that is new, you have the right and responsibility to let them know if that punishment is too harsh, or could cause you harm i.e. a hard limit.

 

 If you're having trouble dipping your toes into the punishment pool, try starting out with lighter fare and avoid the physical discipline right at first. Try things like writing lines, being denied your favorite dessert, or other light punishments. Keep the lines of communication with your partner open and honest at all times. If something makes you uncomfortable, say something to him/her. In the DD/lg dynamic, I feel that the first focus a Caregiver should have is the health and happiness of their little, so you should fully expect your partner to listen to your feedback and discuss your concerns in detail. If you feel like something isn't working, let them know, and try to find another activity that might be more suitable.

 

 I hope this was helpful.

Thank you this was, i guess my feelings that i have about punishments maybe also have to do with the fact that i'm not being with someone, probably if i'd be in love with my daddy it would change my mindset. But thank you for the advice, i appreciat it

[A Cuddly Dom]

 I'm glad I could help  Don't be afraid to ask if you have any other questions.

[alpacaprincess]

I think that punishments are an indispensable aspect of the DD/lg dynamic, but as others have said, the type and harshness of punishment will vary by person. I mean, a Daddy puts a lot of time and effort into making rules and supervising their little one, and those rules are generally in place to protect the little one, so to strip the Daddy of any means by which to enforce their rules would undermine the whole dynamic. A lot of times the rules reflect the fact that the Daddy knows their little one on an intimate level, and tailors the rules to suit their needs. Personally, I find rules and structure to be liberating (counter-intuitive, I know), and it seems that punishment and aftercare would provide excellent opportunities for deep emotional bonding (I've never been in a DD/lg relationship, so I can't speak from experience). I think that one of the most beautiful aspects of this kind of relationship is how much it can be personalized, so there are no strict rules about what "punishment" entails.