Too Young to be a daddy?

[Daddynike]

I've been into the lifestyle for about 3 years. I'm 19 and I'm sexually frustrated as hell. I've recently been putting alot of effort into finding a little of my own, but often times my age has been a problem. And for the past two years ive been put in a position where littles say im too young to be their a daddy, and if i find anyone who is younger than me, they would be underage. Thats a line im not willing to cross. I dont do Long distance relationships anymore so that limits my options even further. I just want to have some nice LEGAL/IRL fun, ya know? I want this lifestyle, i love the dynamic, theres no doubt about it in my mind. So my question is, do you think i should just stick to vanilla relationships until I'm older? also, if there are any daddies around my age out there that have found their princess IRL, give me a shout out, it'll be nice to know that its not totally hopeless.

[Qwartney]

From the way you describe your situation,and the obvious frustration about it, waiting might be the way to go.  You're trying to operate within a small pool already and like you said, you are adding more restrictions (physical requirements, geographical location).  Nothing wrong with that at all, but it greatly narrows down your possible partner options.  Something to consider though, is you can also go for a vanilla relationship, then as things develop perhaps introduce her to your interest in the dynamic and see if that can blossom.

[Guest littlebitty]

Can I just say I think it's really great how you have addressed and realised this issue. With all do respect to younger daddies and littles I do find it frustrating reading some of the topics people posts about because it highlights a massive lack of general sexual knowledge and maturity and well life experience. I was the exact same age 16-21. I knew what I liked and what I wanted but I just didn't have then experience to live it out fully. What you can do is get knowledge about all kinds of relationships and dynamics and you don't have to stop being a daddy. You just have to realise that it's going to be frustrating until you mature a little bit and have more experiences and meet more similar minded people. I've said it a few times on here but no matter your background a 19yr old daddy compared to a 30yr old or older daddy is never gonna be as dominant or as understanding so don't put pressure on yourself. You simply haven't had your day yet. But buy the sounds of it your an awesome daddy in the making who knows what he wants.

Take the pressure of yourself and go and expereince alsorts of relationships and it might sound odd to you but try getting to know girls a few years older then you they can teach you a lot about how girls think so when that perfect little girl comes your way your ready and have lived a little, all littles want a knowledgeable daddy who can answer their questions, protect them and dominate them...those things just take a little bit of time in my opinion.

[jennyk717]

I have to admit that I get very upset when I hear this type of question. Even more upset when I hear the responses. A person's age had absolutely no bearing on what someone identifies as. So you're only 19, who cares. If identifying as a Daddy feels right then be the best Daddy you can be. I don't know myself, but it may be that it's more difficult to find a little is harder when your a younger Daddy. Is say start exploring researching and talking to other Daddies and lurked and figuring out what does and doesn't attract you. Just keep learning and meeting new people and when you find your little it will be the right person. I know of younger Daddie's and I've read about others so it can be done. Fine give up, but don't try to force it either. And don't listen to anyone trying to tell you that you're to young.

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

as a little the same age as you, it's generally not about age. My dd is only a year older than me and I've been with him for three years. It depends on maturity and experience for most littles. They want someone that makes them feel little. I'm not saying to give up, but the set restrictions you have will cause problems. Try fetlife or another dating site to see if you can find someone in the area. Personally I despise people my age, so if I was to ever lose my DD I probably would give uo trying to date.

[Guest algernon]

I have to admit that I get very upset when I hear this type of question. Even more upset when I hear the responses. A person's age had absolutely no bearing on what someone identifies as.

While I'll be the first to defend a younger guy (I was always the precocious "old soul", so I truly, honestly, understand that position), I'll also say boldly but with no ill will to anyone that we perhaps too often throw around the term "identify", or at least too often grant it greater weight than it deserves. I could identify as 7' tall, but at a good foot-and-a-half shorter than that, the fact of the matter is when it comes to basketball, I'm at a disadvantage to someone of NBA-height. That doesn't mean I could never be good, but I may have to work that much harder.

 

So it goes with age. It's a fact that age correlates with maturity. *However*, correlation does not equal causation; age does not equal maturity, but being older means more potential opportunities to develop maturity and learn wisdom from your experiences - and men in particular aren't done "developing" at 19 anyway.

 

But that being said, there's now reason why you can't be just as good a daddy at 19 as any older man. I can't tell you how to make someone be interested (men have been working on various aspects of that one for thousands of years...), but I can suggest something in the meantime. When it comes down to it, being a daddy doesn't really have anything to do with buying stuffies or making chore charts - caregiver relationships are about nurturing, and you can't lift someone higher than you stand. So use this time to learn as much as you can about life, how the world works, overcoming obstacles, and dealing with people. Try and learn from people and be a friend and mentor to others in return. That can simultaneously greatly help with getting your "fix", make you a more attractive candidate, and improve your potential as a caregiver. And for all I know, you've already made more use of the opportunities you've had to learn than most older guys - but people don't know that until they get to know you, which I know is a difficult stumbling block.

 

On the other hand, if your sexual frustration is the bigger pain, I second LavenderRabbit. Join some dating sites, but I'll suggest you don't look for a little, but someone who likes age play, is overall kinky, or who just likes to try new things. There is a wide pool of girls who, while not into actual ddlg, have no problem wearing a skirt and pigtails and calling a guy "daddy".

 

[typo edited]

Edited June 2, 2016 by algernon

[dnswd]

Best advice I can give you regarding the lifestyle....find local groups/events. Join/attend them. Talk to others and if its possible find a mentor. in the long run it will be more helpful than just saying "I have been in the lifestyle for so and so years."

 

Young adults your age are also new to the lifestyle so yes they will look for someone who is older and more experienced. Honestly regardless of your age/maturity I always tell young adults who feel as daddy/dom/daddy dom/submissive/slave/mommy/mistress/little/middle/big/xxx label to wait few years. Go through some life experiences. Find a job/career, stabilize yourself first THEN you will be in a much more confident position to pursue.

 

I myself started when I was 17 (got introduced to BDSM as a whole) and it wasnt until I had explored, attended events, workshops, seminars, talked, while getting mentored for few years that I knew what I liked and was confident enough to approach those in the lifestyle. You already know that you are a daddy.....thats great, good for you but I will say this "Do not force/jump into it."   Reading and researching about the different aspects of the lifestyle will help you, to maybe 40% at best and thats being very generous. Interacting with others will help you a lot more.

 

Depending on where you live might be easy to find a local BDSM community or might take some time to find one. 

 

As for being sexually frustrated, you are on your own. I think I have been enough of an ass already without being more of an ass.

Edited June 2, 2016 by dnswd

[DaddyPenguin]

I cant say I understand what you are going through as I am older. It is true many littles look for an older Daddy Dom because experience level, maturity level and/or they just plain prefer older. Now I am not saying just because one is younger don't have experience or they are immature. I will say I see littles all the time seeking a younger Daddy closer to their age. I believe you limiting to just local you have cut yourself at the knees. It's great to have preferences but you are making an already small circle even smaller. I would expand alittle bit and say within a says drive. But never give up.

[Guest samtheman556]

I'm 18 and I can say I definitely feel your pain, I've never gotten the response that I was too young to be a daddy but more that because I am young I am restricted to having to do things extremely locally. The best thing to do might be to wait, try and get access to things that let you travel more freely and begin a vanilla relationship and attempt to introduce this. Many of the other above have already said what I said. My best advice is just to be patient and don't try to rush anything. You're young, just live your life! 

[Dragon Child]

Honestly, i think younger daddies and mommies are just as good. There are some littles who like a little more of an age similarity (Such as myself to a potential little.. *still looking.. >.>) I think you should keep looking. Sexual frustration btw could be helped by well.. self pleasure if you get my drift, that helped me, even if i had to do as such daily for a while

[Harley_Quinn]

My daddy is 20 and was a daddy to an older girl who was also little when he was 16. It's okay to be a younger daddy

[Guest Kitten_Mae]

A very close friend of mine has a mommy that is 3 years younger than her!! Age isn't an issue, you just have to be patient and eventually the right little will find you!