Advice on a rule.

[BestMate22]

Me and my little are in a LDR. She lives in the US and I live in the UK. We set a rule of going to bed by 10:30pm EST, 11pm on non school nights. But I know she likes to stay up really late and I'd love to set her a bedtime later than that but that's 3:30am UK time and I have to get up around 8am for work. If I set it any later than that I'll be tired at work.

 

I thought about giving her a bedtime later than that and getting her to text me when she is in bed but I have my phone not on silent so in an emergency she can ring me and it will wake me up. Also we have lots of rules around bedtime so I need to make sure she follows them. My instinct says put your foot down and keep to the 10:30 bedtime but its the 1 rule that I wish I could change but I can't. 

 

She hasn't said anything about it but I sense its the 1 rule that she doesn't "like". Its not that she has a bedtime its more of the time that's the issue.

 

Any advice on what you would do is great.

[MellyBoo19912015]

Well we are the opposite to you lol. Daddy is US and I'm UK. We have a 5 hour time difference too. Now my circumstances are different obviously but I'm allowed max midnight with any extra time either out of the "bank", which is time I've saved up from rewards and certain circumstances, or it needs to be something special. I also know anytime past midnight I might not hear from daddy depending what's going on. Have you thought maybe allowing extra time but with the understanding you won't be able to answer. Your already getting less than 5 hours sleep which can't be good for you. Or maybe you could agree to a later bed time when you have days off, if it's earned?

[StarEyed]

That "bank" idea sounds really cool.

[MellyBoo19912015]

It is pretty cool StarEyed and also gives me responsibility. Once the time is gone it's gone. Though I currently have a lot of time due to a fishing trip he went to and a business trip. Also taught me some extra negotiating skills lol.

[BestMate22]

I really like that Idea Melly. I'm going to have a chat with her later and discuss what she wants to do and I'll bring up this idea to her.

[BestMate22]

Thought I would give you an update.

 

We found this app called OurHome. And to say its amazing for ddlg is an understatement. I've been able to set up her night time routine and check that she does it. She earns points on there and one of the rewards is the bank idea so thanks for that Melly!

 

We did change the bedtime time because we both agreed it was unfair on her.

 

Thanks again for your help!