The newness of realizing I'm little is a bit overwhelming

[Guest gypsyblue]

It might be a little overwhelming, but not in a bad way!  The more I read the more this feels right.  I only even looked into ddlg on a whim because somebody suggested it might be a better fit for me than the D/s experiences I had in the past.  So looking it up and reading through things, it kind of feels like another part of me is throwing all my favorite things in my face and sticking its tongue out at me going "nanananana" lol.  Yes, okay, I get it already!  This fits, I'm little, but now that I have a name for it what do I do with it?

 

My question is, did anybody else have a similar sudden "ah-ha!" moment?  How did you wrap your head around it all, and what did you do to settle the giddiness at the sudden feeling of permission to snuggle up to your favorite teddy bear or bust out the coloring books and crayons again?

 

Thanks!

[LittleMeredith]

Hi, i had the same thing.

 

I'm still figuring it out and all, but i recently ordered a wig and some kitten ears (i like petplay aswell). I already had a collar laying around. Soon after i found out i bought a blanket. I still haven't found my place exactlly, i would just suggest to keep calm, don't overrush and just figure out what you like, I debated a while between loads of things i liked and kept it to the blanket wig and ears.

 

But it also seems like you are hinting a bit towards littlespace, i love talking to other littles and doms, that makes me feel like a little. Also lissening to Disney songs and maybe turning on a movie (Disney).  Also doing super cute makeup! You could message me if you want to talk more, and maybe more personal.

[penny]

Omg I did.

 

Okay so I never was into BDSM or anything like that what happened with me was I was YouTube surfing and I somehow ended up on the subject of adult babies. I watched a video about them and I started to realize more and more as the movie went on that this was basically me. So I turned it off.

 

I was kind of ashamed, kind of weirded out, kind of excited to finally understand why I was so childish and as other people would consider it immature.

 

My "ah ha" moment came months later when I decided to give being little a try and I grabbed one of my many bears and sat down with a coloring book and beauty and the beast and fell right into little space without any trouble at all.

 

I cried, I laughed, I cried some more and then I ate some gummy bears and ever since then it's been routine for me to set aside an hour or so every few days to just be small and little and it's helped so much.

 

It helped with me depression, it helps me relax, it's helped me to cope with some past trauma from my childhood and all in all it's been an awesome experience.

 

I still have issues with shame hence this account being new. I have a purge moment where I deleted everything and stopped indulging but I've since come around and I'm trying again.

[mv1205]

I still have issues with shame hence this account being new. I have a purge moment where I deleted everything and stopped indulging but I've since come around and I'm trying again.

 

 

Oh yeah....this sounds too familiar. I've been doing the purge / indulge thing for years....and yet, I "crawl" back to it every time...the more I read about it, the more I love it, but I'm so new to practicing it with someone else (my husband). I'm going through a series of emotions right now....shame, embarrassment, questioning myself, and I just feel so weird....even though he accepts me 110% but that's what I have to get through now....accept myself....and I'm not sure how....  

[penny]

It just takes time hun. I think the best thing that you can do is be patient with yourself and keep trying. Making little friends helped me a lot in trying to accept myself. Especially if you can find friends who are already okay wih who they are, it helps you to feel more comfortable with yourself

[LittleJosh]

i've only recently (in the last 2 years) accepted my "little' side as a life-style. Being a male, it seems alot harder to accept i think because we are supposed to grow up to be MEN and be providers and care-takers and daddy's. I dont mind all that, but mostly i just like being a little. Its where im the most comfortable when im home. As soon as im alone i go into my little space and its the best feeling EVER! Im still learning and adjusting and noone in my life knows (except 2 online friends)..that can make it tough cause i feel like a lonley little boy. But thats ok cause i take care of myself the best i can!

[Guest gypsyblue]

Thank you everybody for your kind and helpful answers!  So far I'm just kinda forcing myself to relax into it.  Yesterday I got super stressed out because one of my kids was trying my patience beyond belief (come to find out she's coming down with some illness...) and I finally just convinced her that she needed a rest, and that I didn't hate her despite making her take a rest.  Once she was in bed I snagged one of her coloring books, some colored pencils and turned on Pandora to the Disney songs station I have set up for my kids.  Almost immediately I started to chill out.  It felt nice to just let myself be little and not worry about all the stress for a while.  Even not knowing a thing about cgl/ddlg, my wife smiled at me when she came in and asked, "That kind of day huh?" when she saw me scrunched over a coloring book with my headphones on.  Apparently this kind of behavior isn't totally unexpected from me, though I don't think I've purposely let myself into any sort of littlespace before.

[Miss_Evalia]

I had one too

I always was more of a kid than my other friends. Most of them don't have stuffies or the ones they kept from their childhood are on shelves or hidden somewhere... But I still keep some in my bed, I have more than 40 with me in bed.

I always loved cartoons and watch them often, plus I love coloring and games.

I always thought it was "normal" but when I started learning about DDLG, I realised that it was normal, but it had a name and it was a whole thing, I wasn't alone anymore

Though for me right now, nothing really changed because I don't have a daddy or care giver. I think that dynamic will make my DDLG world evolve

[BlueEyesAndAll]

I'm in nearly the same boat, OP.  Daddy and I have been together a little more than a year; I was completely naive to the lifestyle when we met.  We just started exploring this particular dynamic within the last several weeks.  I started wanting to call him Daddy when we played *and such* and I struggled with it for a bit before I talked to him about it.  Luckily he is very understanding and open to trying new things, and he's being a great, supportive Daddy and is helping me accept this aspect of myself.  There were actually alot of elements of the DD/lg dynamic in our relationship to begin with (he's nurturing and takes good care of me, I like to curl up next to him, sit in his lap, crave his attention, sometimes I was a bratty sub to get his attention/punishment).  After we discussed my feelings the first time, he told me to go out and get myself a coloring book and color every night before bed.  (He also gave me a bedtime.)  I find that I get into what I've seen referred to as little space when I'm coloring or when I know my bedtime is approaching.
My "ah-ha" moment came when I stumbled across this site and read a post (I can't remember which thread or poster, my apologies) that said something to the effect of "I was wearing my pink onesie, had my hair in pigtails, sucking on a ring pop and singing Let It Go at the top of my lungs when the delivery man rang the bell; I let him leave the package outside" - and I said to myself "That's not something alot of people do?...." Less the onesie (and pigtails - because I don't like my hair up), that's something I would do on a normal day - at home though, not in public.  That realization thrilled me and terrified me all at once.  This is a thing?!?  There are other people I can talk to openly about this?  I'm still struggling with it a little bit, and I'm glad to be here!

[Guest ShyFairyPrincess]

I just had an intense moment of realization today. My best friend shared with me that she was a "little" and I had no idea what she was talking about! So I googled ddlg and I started reading this forum and burst into tears. I couldn't believe there were other people out there who still played with dolls and colored and had stuffed animals at my age .. I'm still kinda in shock but here I am, and I can't wait to meet all of you!!

[lulahoney]

Hi guys,

I love that I feel like I finally found a space that's safe to talk about stuff like this with people with the same interests as me.

I definitely empathize with a lot of your posts. I also feel extremely overwhelmed with this part of myself.

I am fearful of letting myself feel little, because I have to rely on myself in so many aspects, and my independence pretty much keeps me alive, so feeling little and dependent is really scary for me. I'm still not sure how to handle it or how to reconcile this feeling with my need for self-reliance. 

Hopefully we will all slowly experiment, take care of ourselves, and find relationships or solace within ourselves. 

 

Lots of love,

Lula