not good enough to be anyone's little

[Guest kawaii babydoll]

I've never had luck with finding a Daddy. I've been a little for about two years now and none of the Daddys I've had have worked out. The first was verbally abusive. He'd leave me for days sometimes a week at a time and them come back only to make me feel terrible about myself telling me I couldn't do any better but in the end told me I wasn't good enough. After that I didn't look for a while. I waited until I was ready and I started again which is when I came here. But the people I've met here haven't been much better. The first told me I wasn't skinny enough, the next after being scary and demeaning told me I wasn't good enough for him again and left. Then one just vanished, the next within 20 minutes was asking for naughty pictures and then said I obviously didn't want please a Daddy because I wouldn't send them' and the most recent only wants someone to please him when it's convenient for him not really caring about what I needed as said at all because that is all I am good enough to get.

 

So my question is, when do you give up and decide no one will want you and end it all? Or do you just keep taking what you can get because it's all your good enough for? I just...I don't know what is real and what isn't. I've never lied to any of them and I've been nothing less than myself but I'm just not good enough. And I don't know why.

[penny]

Okay first of all the problem is not you it's them.

 

I repeate:

 

THE PROBLEM IS NOT YOU, ITS THEM.

 

There is no excuse for abusive, demeaning or demanding behavior in any relationship no matter what the dynamic is. Unfourtunatly however and this is something i too learned the hard way, the BDSM scene tends to attract terrible men.

 

There are wonderful ones here and there are amazing daddies out there but a lot of abusive men use BDSM and it's dynamic as a cover for their own shitty behavior.

 

You are an awesome person, a wonderful little and someday you will make a daddy very happy but keep these bits of advice in mind while you're searching.

 

1) a man has to EARN the right to be called daddy, it's not a given. If he's only there when it's convenient for him (barring life and work getting in the way) then he is not a daddy and doesn't deserve the title.

 

2) you are never ever ever obligated to do anything for your daddy if it makes you uncomfortable. Nude pictures, sexy texts or anything else are not required to be a little and if anyone tries to make you feel bad for not wanting to do anything that makes you uncomfortable then leave them.

 

Part of a daddies job is to respect his littles boundaries as its a littles job to respect her caregivers. It's never a daddies job to make you feel bullied or pressured into anything.

 

3) any person man or woman in any relationship dynamic that bullies, harasses, abuses or steps over their boundaries is not a good person and not deserving of your time, affection or love.

 

You will find what you're looking for, don't give up but don't give in. There are wonderful daddies out there.

[Guest kawaii babydoll]

Okay first of all the problem is not you it's them.

I repeate:

THE PROBLEM IS NOT YOU, ITS THEM.

There is no excuse for abusive, demeaning or demanding behavior in any relationship no matter what the dynamic is. Unfourtunatly however and this is something i too learned the hard way, the BDSM scene tends to attract terrible men.

There are wonderful ones here and there are amazing daddies out there but a lot of abusive men use BDSM and it's dynamic as a cover for their own shitty behavior.

You are an awesome person, a wonderful little and someday you will make a daddy very happy but keep these bits of advice in mind while you're searching.

1) a man has to EARN the right to be called daddy, it's not a given. If he's only there when it's convenient for him (barring life and work getting in the way) then he is not a daddy and doesn't deserve the title.

2) you are never ever ever obligated to do anything for your daddy if it makes you uncomfortable. Nude pictures, sexy texts or anything else are not required to be a little and if anyone tries to make you feel bad for not wanting to do anything that makes you uncomfortable then leave them.

Part of a daddies job is to respect his littles boundaries as its a littles job to respect her caregivers. It's never a daddies job to make you feel bullied or pressured into anything.

3) any person man or woman in any relationship dynamic that bullies, harasses, abuses or steps over their boundaries is not a good person and not deserving of your time, affection or love.

You will find what you're looking for, don't give up but don't give in. There are wonderful daddies out there.

 

Thank you penny (｡･･｡) I will definitely try and remember all that!

[penny]

I have a general rule after years of bad and abusive relationships. The first time my partner says or does anything to make me question my self worth or makes me feel like I'm not good enough I walk. Life is too short and your time is too precious to waste on people who don't lift you up and inspire you

[Guest itsbabygirlbean]

Some will use the title of Daddy to get what they want in a harmful way. This only hurts the dynamic. I'm writing this from what I have seen in my 3 years in the lifestyle. It's their fault for being terrible, and keep on exploring the dynamic without the intention of finding a Daddy at the moment.

[penny]

If someone truly loves an cares for you they will want to bring you up not tear you down.

[Guest kawaii babydoll]

Thank you both for your kindness (ෆ ͒•∘̬• ͒)◞

[Guest Elencha]

All but the first, you say, have happened since you joined here. You joined this morning. Give it time. Stop searching so hard. I know it doesn't feel this way, but the fact is, at 22, you are prime real estate, girl. But when you offer yourself up so easily people don't see you as the valued commodity that you are. Think of it this way, if someone walked up and offered to sell you a solid gold watch for a dollar, would you believe it was gold? Even if everything about it looked genuine? Not likely. So you might miss out on a very inexpensive yet valuable piece of jewelry. At 22, you are gold. Let them get off their asses and come to Jared's if they want you. They will. Trust me. Maybe not today, maybe not even this week... but you have all the time in the world. Or at least a good solid ten years before your marketability starts to decline. I know lonely doesn't feel any better in youth than it does with age. Trust me I have been there. Am there now a lot of the time. But I'm where I am because nobody bothered to point this out to me when I was your age. And if they had I wouldn't have believed them.

So I'll offer you this: Why believe some guy on the internet who says you aren't good enough when he doesn't even know you and not believe some woman on the internet who says you are?

[Guest kawaii babydoll]

My old account got

All but the first, you say, have happened since you joined here. You joined this morning. Give it time. Stop searching so hard. I know it doesn't feel this way, but the fact is, at 22, you are prime real estate, girl. But when you offer yourself up so easily people don't see you as the valued commodity that you are. Think of it this way, if someone walked up and offered to sell you a solid gold watch for a dollar, would you believe it was gold? Even if everything about it looked genuine? Not likely. So you might miss out on a very inexpensive yet valuable piece of jewelry. At 22, you are gold. Let them get off their asses and come to Jared's if they want you. They will. Trust me. Maybe not today, maybe not even this week... but you have all the time in the world. Or at least a good solid ten years before your marketability starts to decline. I know lonely doesn't feel any better in youth than it does with age. Trust me I have been their. Am their now a lot of the time. But I'm where I am because nobody bothered to point this out to me when I was your age. And if they had I wouldn't have believed them.

So I'll offer you this: Why believe some guy on the internet who says you aren't good enough when he doesn't even know you and not believe some woman on the internet who says you are?

My old account was accidentally deleted but thank you for your kindness

[Pure Heart Dom]

Listen friend, as mentioned above, it's not you its them. Some people do use the title as a means of manipulation and exploitation as well as abuse for littles, especially new ones. These guys are deplorable and unsightly and quite frankly, give the rest of us actual caregivers a bad name lol

Don't burden yourself with the nonsense that these scraps of garbage put you through, you don't deserve it. Just be patient and positive. In the mean time, while waiting patiently and positively, work on yourself and enjoy being you! Reflect on things and always aim to improve yourself for YOU! So then, when you meet Daddy Charming, you'll be at your precipice! ^w^

[Guest kawaii babydoll]

Listen friend, as mentioned above, it's not you its them. Some people do use the title as a means of manipulation and exploitation as well as abuse for littles, especially new ones. These guys are deplorable and unsightly and quite frankly, give the rest of us actual caregivers a bad name lol

Don't burden yourself with the nonsense that these scraps of garbage put you through, you don't deserve it. Just be patient and positive. In the mean time, while waiting patiently and positively, work on yourself and enjoy being you! Reflect on things and always aim to improve yourself for YOU! So then, when you meet Daddy Charming, you'll be at your precipice! ^w^

Thank you (｡･･｡) (๑•͈ᴗ•͈)

[Guest Elencha]

My old account got

My old account was accidentally deleted but thank you for your kindness

Also, I'm a dumbass... Where's a chagrin smiley when I need one? The point still stands. Even if we're talking about six months rather than six hours, you've still got time, and you're still gold. So... There...    

[Guest kawaii babydoll]

Also, I'm a dumbass... Where's a chagrin smiley when I need one? The point still stands. Even if we're talking about six months rather than six hours, you've still got time, and you're still gold. So... There... 

 

You're totally fine no worries!! Thank you for being so kind and saying such uplifting things. I know they will help more than just me! (*⌒∇⌒*)

[Guest KingJames]

Take your time. There is someone for you out there.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Oh, the number of dudes that have done stuff like that to me, lol.

I know you won't see the "lol" aspect of it as I do, but it's all about attitude. You will never attract the right kind of man while your self esteem and confidence are so low. It's partly those aspects of your demeanour that will be attracting them.

I don't know what the answer to that is, but while ever that is an issue, it won't be fixed. I mean nothing negative towards you, it's a very common problem, just maybe you haven't realised that about yourself.

With knowledge comes power.

I hope you can find a way to build yourself up. I know that's much easier said than done, but that's very simply how I see it.

[Guest kawaii babydoll]

Oh, the number of dudes that have done stuff like that to me, lol.

I know you won't see the "lol" aspect of it as I do, but it's all about attitude. You will never attract the right kind of man while your self esteem and confidence are so low. It's partly those aspects of your demeanour that will be attracting them.

I don't know what the answer to that is, but while ever that is an issue, it won't be fixed. I mean nothing negative towards you, it's a very common problem, just maybe you haven't realised that about yourself.

With knowledge comes power.

I hope you can find a way to build yourself up. I know that's much easier said than done, but that's very simply how I see it.

While I do not fully agree with everything you said because yes I understand that I don't have the highest self esteem I think that there are things we all go through that not everyone else will understand. Our lives, our journeys, our stories, are all unique to ourself and all our own so we should lump everyone together and make assumptions.

 

My hope, as it has been my entire life, is that no one ever has to go through the things I have in the past or present, to make them feel this much self loathing as I do. I personally do not believe it's possible that situations that seem full of darkness and despair at one point similar to my situation, will never fully fixed and cannot find the light again and I do hope no one else sees this and gives up on themselves. Because over time, regardless of how we struggle we can continue to rise again. Not the same as before but still ever present.

 

In the end I do want to say, Thank You for the constructive criticism. It was difficult to digest and it can also be difficult to give so thank you for speaking your mind and I truly wish you and everyone who's commented or felt this way the very best.

 

(⺣◡⺣)♡*

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

It honestly wasn't meant as any kind of criticism. Sometimes I just have to be realistic and tell my honest opinion. Of course I don't know what you have been through, I can only comment one short snippet of information given in your post.

Life is full of horror sometimes. Trust me, if I wrote a book on the things I have been through, they would put it on the fiction shelf, as they would believe I made a lot of it up.

I suppose some of us come out of things wounded and afraid, others come out determined and unwilling to admit any kind of defeat. And of course any manner of combination of other things too.

Our past experiences mould us somewhat into the person we eventually become. Do not allow past hurts and troubles to define or beat you down. Do not give them the satisfaction of winning.

Stand strong and say "yep, that happened and it was freakin HORRIBLE, but I will never allow it to happen again!"

We are given many lessons, some of them hideously painful. It's up to us if we choose to kearn from them. Certain situations are beyond our control. Our attitude towards them and how we deal with them is NOT beyond our control.

The past has gone. Shape the future yourself. Is it easy? No way in hell! Is it possible? Damned right it is.