Topping from the bottom

[Guest littlebitty]

So have any littles done this? Or have any of you bigs experienced this and how did you go about the situation?

 

My personal experience is I have never needed to do this, My current and past daddies have always kept me feeling secure and protected and provided me the mental and physical attention I require. But it does make me wonder if any of you daddies have had to deal with this issue and how you have dealt with it? Personally I don't think I'd dare try it on my daddy.

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

I've done this a few times and got in a ton of trouble from it. I let my anger take control of me and said a lot of things I should've thought twice about...Seconds later I was sitting in a corner writing lines until my hands ached.

[Guest littlebitty]

Interesting can I ask more details? Like what you actually did? (If it's too personal don't worry) I just find the interaction between power play between big and littles very interesting....eek lines not so fun!

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

I was supposed to be put in time-out for disobeying a rule and I specifically told him, "No I don't wanna do that and I shouldn't have to listen to you." In all honesty, I was repressing a lot of built up emotions which caused me to be very rude to him. He quickly put me in my place!!

[Guest littlebitty]

Sounds like you were really not a happy girl to say that but I get angry too, did you ever do it again? Or did you Learn your lesson?

[A Cuddly Dom]

 There is a difference between being rude, being mildly bratty, and topping from the bottom, I think. Once in a while almost anyone will get upset and say something stupid or a bit mean in the heat of the moment. Most often, this can be addressed with a quick and firm punishment such as writing lines, which I prefer as a punishment for real infractions. In my opinion, spankings are usually not appropriate for a real or serious breaking of rules, but that's my take on it.

 

Being somewhat bratty and mouthy is something some Doms will tolerate or even enjoy to a certain point. This is something that needs to be discussed by both partners in a mature and adult manner. There needs to be a line in the sand, so to speak. I personally don't like bratty behavior or having my sub/little talk back to me or ignore my direction or rules. That will result in a punishment she will not enjoy at all, i.e. writing lines, time out, suspension of certain activities like games or movies, all the way up to loss of playtime for however long. Again, that's just my own take on it.

 

 Topping from the bottom, in my opinion, is when the submissive partner tries to redirect or advert the dominant partner's control over something. I feel this is what is going on with some bratty girls at times. It's the old "I'm gonna' say something smart to Daddy, and then he'll give me a hard spanking" followed by some other activity the submissive is wanting. A lot of subs do this; act disrespectful in order to get a hard punishment, which is what they are secretly wanting all along. I consider this to be topping from the bottom. There are Doms who will play along, and then there are Doms who will have none of it. Every couple needs to understand the soft limits and boundaries, and the hard limits and boundaries they've agreed upon in the relationship and respect those limits.

 

 There is an even uglier side to this, as well. There are times a submissive may say to their Dom, "If you were a real Dom, you would (fill in the blank)" this is a manipulation and is extremely bad form. This statement is sometimes used in the reverse by fake Doms trying to get a submissive partner to drop his/her hard limits, also unacceptable. Basically, as I said above, truly topping from the bottom involves a manipulation of the dynamic in which the submissive tries to take control or granted authority away from their dominant, or to get their dominant to do something they may not want to do.

 

 Sometimes subs play at this a bit, just hoping their Dom will put them in their place or give them some stern direction so that they feel secure in the relationship, which is understandable. Basically, it boils down to how soft or strict a particular power exchange relationship is modeled, and the people involved that will determine how much of this kind of behavior is acceptable. No matter what the dynamic, it's up to both parties to be totally open and honest about what they want and need in a relationship, as well as what kinds of boundaries are expected. Anyway, that's my take on the subject.

[Ruby-Rainy]

What does topping from the bottom mean?

[NottsDaddy]

Alexa its when someone in a submissive position in a relationship (such as a Baby-girl/boy) manipulates (or attempts to) there Daddy/Mummy in order to get what they want; so in other words the supposed submissive party is actually controlling the relationship (using sex, emotional persuasion, provocation and psychological ploys such as fear of the relationship ending etc) in reversal of what its supposed to be.  This isn't to be confused with being bratty or misbehaving or communicating about things you don't like or discussing things with your Daddy/Mommy.

[Guest littlebitty]

Thank you cuddly dom is it? This is exactly what im talking about, its the manipulation to get ones way and to gain some kind of punishment or to 'get one over' the dom. Not just an outburst.

 

Like I say, ive never done it or felt the need. I became interested in why someone in any d/s dynamic may need to do this? The reason is I had a friend who constantly did this to her dom and it made me very curious as to what was really going on in her head. Was it insecurity, testing her and his limits or was it something more complicated?

 

To me its quite a disresecful and as you say has an ugly side to it. I really wanted to her how common it is as Ive now read some interesting posts as to similar behaviour and to be honest I do not understand fully as to why a sub or little may act in sucha way to there dom/caregiver?

 

So im still asking with no judgement has any one out there experienced this?

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

I am fully and naturally submissive and would never even try. My daddy had a girl try do this and was one reason he got fed up of her. If I want or need something, I simply ask.

To me, that can only be a negative thing, and detrimental to a sub/dom relationship. Manipulation can never be a good thing.

[Guest littlebitty]

Thank you and I am in total agreement. It can only be a negative behaviour if you ask me. I cant understand why when you do meet your daddy you would do something like this.

The girl I was talking about seemed almost calculated In finding ways to manipulate him and I just kind of stood back and had to think what is really going on there.

To me id rather ask for something then play mind games. It must be absolutely exhausting for a daddy to try and deal with.

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

Sounds like you were really not a happy girl to say that but I get angry too, did you ever do it again? Or did you Learn your lesson?

 

Oh no, I would never do it again. It made me realize that I need to keep calm and collected when something angers me.. "as a little girl should" like Daddy says.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Thank you and I am in total agreement. It can only be a negative behaviour if you ask me. I cant understand why when you do meet your daddy you would do something like this.

The girl I was talking about seemed almost calculated In finding ways to manipulate him and I just kind of stood back and had to think what is really going on there.

To me id rather ask for something then play mind games. It must be absolutely exhausting for a daddy to try and deal with.

Exactly. This girl wasn't actually really a submissive, she was just playing one to get what she wanted. That's one reason he adores me for who I am, because it's REALLY who I am. No act, no games, no manipulation etc. I am not submissive for what I can get in return, I am submissive because...... I am submissive!

[Guest littlebitty]

it's just so sad to think people have time to do this. I actually saw a couple of posts recently (can't remember which site I was on) basically 'tips to get back at daddy' and I just don't get how people can sit there and swap these ideas of how to control there Dom.

I know bdsm and well most dynamics have fakers etc but what I don't understand is this behaviour being brushed off as being a bit of 'brat'. I actually really hate it was like a little trend going on and she probably fell into this category.

Your spot on with I am submissive because I am submissive.

All I can say is poor daddy's!

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Oh I know its just so wrong in my opinion. Of course everyone is different, but I can only speak for myself.

I would say bratty behaviour is one thing, manipulation and power struggle is somethings else altogether.