My doubts and need advice

[IvyPrincess]

Okay so I have a daddy. We are both new to the relationship of ddlg but we've been in it for a few months now. I introduced it to him. A few days ago I was in little space and I was with him and I was calling him daddy because I was just excited to see him but then he said to me " Yeah that's my name Don't wear it out" and it honestly hurt me so bad because it makes me think that he doesn't want to be called daddy. I don't know, what should I do? Please give advice I've been so whiny lately because of it

[Guest Scout]

I'm with Tori - to me, this sounds positive. 

[IvyPrincess]

Yes we have. We've been in ddlg relationship for a few months now and I've called him daddy before many many times but I still get doubts if he likes being called that. When he said that to me he sounded annoyed with it so I don't think it was positive at all

[Bisou_Bisou]

I think I know what you mean. He said it back sarcastically, as in he didn't seem to enjoy hearing it from you? Just ask him about it, honey! Seriously. We can never really know what anyone else is thinking or feeling and if you really want to make this work with him, talk to him about it and find out what's up. Maybe it's just that he was having a bad day and wasn't in the mood, or you just caught him off guard. You won't know until you ask! Good luck! xx

[IvyPrincess]

I was going to but then I backed out. You see I've brought it up before with him and I don't want to be annoying

[Bisou_Bisou]

You shouldn't feel annoying, honey. You gotta keep the lines of communication open. Sit down and speak to him as adults and sort through how you're both feeling about it all. When you're ready, of course! Problem is, the longer you hold things in, the more they build up, and then if you're anything like I am, everything will just spill over into a big messy mess all at once. I'm trying to address problems as they come up now rather than repress them and it's a LOT easier! You got this! x

[IvyPrincess]

Thank you. You've helped a lot

[cuddly_daddy]

listening to what your saying, reguardless of why he said that (funny, joking, serious)..whats important here are YOUR feelings. If he says something and it affects you, then you should let him know. By him saying it was a joke, or not meant to be serious, even though he knew it hurt you, makes your emotions invalid. Let him know how you felt and talk it through. 

[LolitasDaddy]

Have you asked him if there is something else he'd rather be called?

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

That's a witticism. It doesn't mean anything. He was joking around with you.

[Bart]

I don't agree with MyDaddyMyWorld. Even if it was meant as being witty, it didn't come across like that, and for some reason it hurt her feelings. That means she needs to talk to her Daddy about it, even if it is only to let him clarify how he meant it.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

I know that phrase really well. It's common where I'm from. It's not usually meant offensively at all. It's usually said with affection and good natured banter.

But yep, as with anything, talking to him is better than anything else.

[LolitasDaddy]

Pretty sure the phrase is common everywhere. I'd assume it was inflection and mannerism that made it negative.

[Guest D@ddyDom]

If I said that to my little it would have hurt her feelings a lot. Even if my tone was joking. If he was observant he should have noticed that your demeanor changed. As a result he should have explained, apologized, and held you closely as reassurance. 

 

Where I am from it seems juvenile. I would almost expect my little to say it to me.

 

I would go and ask him what he meant when he said it.  Explain to him that when you are in little space you are much more sensitive and that your feelings were hurt.  Like everyone else has said it is about open communication.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Yes its very juvenile, but its not offensive. If my daddy said it to me, I would laugh, as he would be acting silly and childish on purpose TO make me laugh, and I would forget about it immediately afterwards.

Just trying to be in defence of the guy that said it. I honestly doubt it was meant negatively, and I think it's important to present the other side of things so the OP sees more than just one side and she doesn't just assume he was trying to upset her.

[DaddysLolita]

As we don't really know what his tone or inflection was, it's hard to say if he meant it negatively or not.

 

However, if it felt negative to you, simply talk to him and let him know how it felt like it came across and see if he really meant it negatively.

 

<3

[Masteratm]

To make this lifestyle work communication it the up most importance, i think everyone can agree with me. Your hurt your feelings have to be out no matter the cost because you must not hide them. They will just stay there and get worse. And your feelings are important. There are two sides to every tale, you just have to hear the other before anything could be completely understood.

[IvyPrincess]

You see I finally told him why I have been whiny for a few days and he didn't even react he was like "that's what made you whiny for two whole days?" And apologized but that's it. Didn't talk more about it which bothered me. So then I tried to bring it up again and I backed out because I didn't want to annoy him...I hate when I do. And like I said I've brought up my doubts with him before in the past but then he said that and they came back and I don't want to aggravate him with me asking him again

[Masteratm]

To me it seems like he really doesn't want to be in the lifestyle or he really doesn't understand it. But your feelings are getting hurt and you need to tell him because even though he maybe get annoyed its still a relationship and your unhappy. I would wait a little longer and if nothing changes you need to be serious and tell him how you feel.

[Guest Lovesdaddy1972]

Just ask your Daddy. I asked mine last night how often he was comfortable with me calling him that. He said he wanted me to call him that whenever I felt like it as often as possible.

[DaddysLolita]

You see I finally told him why I have been whiny for a few days and he didn't even react he was like "that's what made you whiny for two whole days?" And apologized but that's it. Didn't talk more about it which bothered me. So then I tried to bring it up again and I backed out because I didn't want to annoy him...I hate when I do. And like I said I've brought up my doubts with him before in the past but then he said that and they came back and I don't want to aggravate him with me asking him again

 

It really sounds like you two need to have an honest talk, as adults. It seems like you have concerns that haven't been or aren't being addressed. Especially if you feel like you're annoying your partner when you need to bring up your feelings. 

 

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