Is this DD a fake?

[LittleLexi]

Hi guys. I'm very new to the DD/lg community and I am currently talking to someone who wishes to be my daddy. I did a lot of reading about the lifestyle and know that I am a little at heart. However, I'm not quite sure that he is a good CG. For example, every time we talk on the phone, he only talks about sexual things. He never asks me about my day or anything like that. We haven't met up yet, but he says that our first meeting will be him penetrating me in a number of ways. He's already asked if I would be comfortable with him showing me off to other men while they watch me service him. He mentioned once about me being his sex slave.

 

I know that the DD/lg lifestyle can be sexual, but I didn't think that it was supposed to be only about that. I see others posting about their DD giving them stuffies and taking them places. I've also read that your first meeting with a DD shouldn't be sexual either. I'm very confused as I am new to the community.

 

Can anyone give me any insight?!

[Guest Buttons]

Hi there! 

 

This situation raises a huge amount of red flags. Like Rosie said, it seems that he is only interested in his own sexual satisfaction, and not at all in your well-being.

 

The most important thing in any BDSM-related partnership such as DDlg, is that consent is involved. Any situation, such as the one you mentioned about other men watching while you and him had sex, should be thoroughly negotiated. Before anything happens, both partners should sit down as equals and have an open, honest conversation about it. Limits should be established, and a safeword definitely needs to be discussed. Then, consent can be given.

 

If it has not been negotiated fully and consented to, then it's not okay. So, please, please, please remember that if he asks you to do anything that you are uncomfortable with, you are 100% able to say no. You are an adult. You are an equal in this relationship - DDlg is only one aspect of it, and all DDlg activities should be negotiated, discussed fully and consented to.

 

I think it would be good to think about this situation as if it were a vanilla relationship. Remove the DDlg and Caregiver titles for a moment. You've met a guy online who you like. However, when you talk on the phone, all he talks about is sex. He never asks about how you or your day is going. If this behavior is unacceptable from a boyfriend/partner, then it is also unacceptable from a Caregiver. It is no different. 

 

I would also strongly suggest rethinking the relationship. If you look around the forum, there's hundreds of threads about how people engage in DDlg in a healthy way. You could also maybe pop into the chatroom if you wanted and I'm sure the people there would love to give you some advice.  

 

Wishing you all the best of luck! Keep us updated <3 

[IrishDaddy]

All relationships can be sexual, even dd/lg relationships, but it's not a necessity. The dynamic of your relationship and what it consists of is entirely up to you and your partner. If you feel as though you want more from the relationship other than just something sexual then you should communicate that to him. As a Daddy and a caregiver your utmost priority should be giving your little what he/she needs and not using them for your sexual needs.

 

I'd suggest speaking to him about this (if you like him enough and would like to progress further), being open and honest as you always should be, good communication in a relationship is one of the key components for it to be healthy.

As for showing you off to other men and you being a 'sex slave'.. if you're not interested in those things then you should tell him. That's the bottom line. If you're uncomfortable with something then your Daddy/Caregiver shouldn't force you into it, if they try to do that then they don't have your best interests at heart and most definitely should be avoided. 

 

With the internet there are many, many, many people who are only interested in meeting their sexual needs without any obligations. I suggest that you assess what you really want out of a relationship, write it down and think about it, introspective thoughts such as that can be very helpful and eye opening.

 

I'm stealing from Buttons a little, but it reminded me of some important things. At the start of any prospective relationship you should always have a conversation about expectations. What you both expect from each other. Currently your expectations aren't being met, communicating that to him is the first step, his response and actions should tell you enough about whether or not you should stay with him or move on.

[LolitasDaddy]

He's a fake, and a douche. If someone doesn't fill the vast majority of your needs, don't consider him as a Daddy. There is a lot more to the dynamic than sex. He is simply looking for a young slave.

[cutie_patootie]

RED FLAG!!!!!!  Run the other way as fast and as far away from him as your little feet will carry you.  I would also recommend changing your mobile number to avoid any further contact with this individual.

[DaddysLolita]

RUUUUUUUUUN! No relationship should start that way, ddlg or not. There's more to being a Daddy than sex and quite simply what he's "stating" is ridiculous. There's absolutely no reason to behave that way.

 

Please get away from this person. I will give you a piggy back ride if needed. *okay my back is messed up so probably not, but I'll put you in a wagon instead! :)*

 

<3

[LittleLexi]

Haha. Thank you guys. I also think he is probably just looking for a sex slave, but just likes hearing the name daddy.

 

I did ask him and he said he wants me mainly for sex, but also to show me guidance and help me make the right decisions in life.

[Guest Daddy's☆treasure]

Definite red flags! Don't trust him and if I were you, I would end all contact. Those are not signs of a good Daddy and it sounds like he just wants to use you for sex. Yes, there is a whole lot more to the DD/lg dynamic and he should be interested and focused on getting to know you and your little side not pressuring you about sex. It's clear he is a fake. Sorry.

 

Hugs to you! <3

[Guest Daddy's☆treasure]

Haha. Thank you guys. I also think he is probably just looking for a sex slave, but just likes hearing the name daddy.

 

I did ask him and he said he wants me mainly for sex, but also to show me guidance and help me make the right decisions in life.

 

At least you know now. All the best for the future.

[Guest lily]

I barely know anything about DDLG (which is why I'm exploring this forum!) but that guy doesn't sound good at all! Definitely not if you are looking for a relationship.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

All that matters is that you want a different kind of daddy, and this guy is throwing out red flags left, right and centre. Some girls would be happy with the way he is, some would rather die.

Don't even bother trying to explain yourself, just block him and move on, end of story, lesson learned.

[LittleLexi]

Thanks guys!

[Tiger Striperino]

I think those would be red flags in just about any relationship.

[Xela]

^^Pretty much sums it up quite well. 

 

This is the kind of fake DD that could lead to actual physical harm by taking things too far. 

 

http://i.imgur.com/Kdxs0V7.gif

[Bisou_Bisou]

I totally agree with all of the aforementioned. He is obviously only interested in one thing from you. You need to respect yourself and hold out for someone who will be there for you and satisfy your needs together rather than just his own. Best of luck to you, Lexi. Chin up - don't settle xx