Are all daddys like that?

[Guest PimkiePoison]

Hi! I am new to the ddlg world and I'm still kinda figuring out. I am talking to few daddies and almost all of them don't really care about me being a little outside the sex aspect. Is that a common thing? Is this how this works?

 

Because really i think a ddlg relationship is about trust and respect and unconditional love and care in AND OUT of the bedroom... am i having too high standards? Or did i understand wrong?

[A Cuddly Dom]

Unfortunately, there are a lot of guys out there with no appreciation for what the lifestyle is really about. You are definitely not wrong in wanting and expecting a daddy who embraces your little both in and out of bed. There are genuine good daddy's out there, just be patient and take your time getting to know new people. If a guy seems fake or not like he's going to be a good caregiver, just toss him off and move on. Don't settle for less than what you really want and need in a relationship.

 

Hope this helps.

[littleboots]

... just toss him off and move on.

Hah! Given the content of the first post, I'm sorry but that nearly made coffee come out my nose! Brilliant!

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Nope. Not all daddies are like that thank god. To me that kind aren't daddies at all. Be more patient. For every genuine daddy out there, there are a few dozen fakes. Ignore the ones that talk that way. They just want to get laid. Nothing else.

[Guest Lovesdaddy1972]

Agree with what was said above.  A real Daddy wants to get to know his little inside and out and enjoys doing things with you that are non-sexual as well.

 

My Daddy and I met (before I knew he was a Dom and me a sub) and hung out a few times as friends only.  Then he confessed about being a Dom....then I told him I was sub....then I revealed about me being lg.  He let me know he wanted to be my Daddy.  It's kind of like......a flower unfolding it's petals.  Layer by layer.

 

You know you will have found the right Daddy for you (I have been searching for about 5-6 years) because you will feel it in your heart, your very core.   I finally understand what the word "soulmates" means.

 

Take your time.  Don't rush.  Don't settle.  The right Daddy for YOU is out there. 

 

xoxo

[ANewDragon]

Not sure where you are looking to find a daddy at. However I would recommend you stay away from "DDlg dating sites." Find a DDlg Community and start talking to and making friends with people, You will find a daddy, but one of the biggest thing is finding your daddy in the right place. Yes, there can be good daddies on the Dating sites, but from my experience in talking with other people, they have more of the "fake daddies" that just want you for sexy time, and not those that will be true to you. 

[LolitasDaddy]

Daddies are like anyone else. Some are good, and honest. Some are lying, using, abusive people. A real, good Daddy will care about you in much more than a sexual manner. In my relationship there is more focus on other things then there is on the sexual aspect.

[Guest PimkiePoison]

Not sure where you are looking to find a daddy at. However I would recommend you stay away from "DDlg dating sites." Find a DDlg Community and start talking to and making friends with people, You will find a daddy, but one of the biggest thing is finding your daddy in the right place. Yes, there can be good daddies on the Dating sites, but from my experience in talking with other people, they have more of the "fake daddies" that just want you for sexy time, and not those that will be true to you. 

the funny thing is, i all know them from this forumcommunity! So like it was kinda a shock because i love this, and the people there like i read some topics and sometimes i'm in chat and they're all so nice people, and then this people who i talk to in private, they talk about the kind of relationship they want for 2 seconds, then they're all about sex. So after talking to few and seeing that they all act the same, i was really confused.

[DaddysLolita]

I have no experience with other daddy's but it's just like any other relationship. There are the good and there are the bad. You just have to weed them out and take your time.

 

It does make me sad you've had bad experiences with people here but, this isnt a dating site and you have to be just as careful as you would anywhere else.

 

Best wishes!

 

<3

[LolitaDaddy]

Ciao bella PimkiePoison,

Unfortunately there are plenty of "wolves & sharks" out pretending daddy just to get at the sex.

A "real" daddy's "role" is about being a care giver to what the "little" needs, some littles are sexual, some are asexual littles with sexual big side.. & among other combinations.

A real daddy is not "like every other guy" out there... He's the "daddy-figure" in the relationship. Remember we are all adults 1st going into the relationship & augment dd/lg as part of or as main lifestyle. There sounds like many you encountered are still learning or are just pretending because its a new dating "trend" at getting lucky.

Be on your guard & bona fortuna.

[DaddyJsPrincess]

the funny thing is, i all know them from this forumcommunity! So like it was kinda a shock because i love this, and the people there like i read some topics and sometimes i'm in chat and they're all so nice people, and then this people who i talk to in private, they talk about the kind of relationship they want for 2 seconds, then they're all about sex. So after talking to few and seeing that they all act the same, i was really confused.

Part of that might just be dudes being dudes. My being a demisexual female might contribute to it, but I find the general cis-male preoccupation with sex is like SUPER intimidating. Even Daddy did a bit of that when we were first getting to know each other, MONTHS before any kind of D/s arrangement was talked about He was still extremely respectful of my boundaries and apprehensions and I'm sure I tested his patience quite a bit while I was warming up to the idea. I made him wait a whole month just to get to third base lol.

 

If that is "conventional male" nature, then my Daddy and other good men are proof that it can be tamed. If they don't choose to respect you right out of the gate, they're not going to suddenly wake up and realize that you need little space attention outside of sex too.

[DaddyJ]

There's nothing wrong with your understanding - as you said its "... about trust and respect and love and care in AND OUT of the bedroom". Just keep sending them packing if sex is their only focus. I do think your experience is common amongst those looking for a daddy, but with patience you'll find there are good daddy doms/care givers out there.

 

On a related note, one of the things I like about the ddlg dynamic is that it can take a bit of time and talking to get things started. I am slow to feel attraction but this dovetails quite well with the dynamic, since it's better to know each other a bit first anyway. If you don't know each other very well then you are just playing the roles and treating the other as 'little' or 'daddy' rather than as a real person.

 

Keep your standards high and good luck :-)

[HerDarkDaddy]

Being the father of three beautiful children and one AMAZING little (DaddyJsPrincess/Princess K)...I have always played my role of "Daddy" in much the same way as my role of "Father"(with a few obvious exceptions).

 

I see it as my duty to care for and nurture Princess K as I do my own children. It is my job to look after her TOTAL well-being...physically,emotionally and mentally.I didn't even know what DD/lg was until she brought it up...and I am glad she did.  I support and encourage her being little as much as possible.  She is cute and adorable in both modes (Big Katie and Little Katie).  They are both part of her and I can't truly love her without loving ALL of her (which I do)...I wouldn't have her any other way. I have as much fun just chilling out watching Disney movies with her as I do during our bedroom activities.

 

If these guys are only keen on the bedroom side of it...then, it sounds to me like they are more interested in being CALLED "Daddy", than actually being Daddies...and I venture to say, that you are probably better off looking elsewhere.  There are good guys and great Daddies out there....you just have to keep looking and don't get lured into something that isn't what you want. COMMUNICATE what you are after...and if it doesn't match up with theirs...move on.  Between here and Tumblr...I have seen a lot of good littles get ruined by bad Daddies.

 

Trust your instincts hun...you clearly feel as if something is not right.  It's not.  Find the Daddy that makes you happy.

 

If you ever need to talk or have questions...my inbox is always open.

[HerDarkDaddy]

Part of that might just be dudes being dudes. My being a demisexual female might contribute to it, but I find the general cis-male preoccupation with sex is like SUPER intimidating. Even Daddy did a bit of that when we were first getting to know each other, MONTHS before any kind of D/s arrangement was talked about He was still extremely respectful of my boundaries and apprehensions and I'm sure I tested his patience quite a bit while I was warming up to the idea. I made him wait a whole month just to get to third base lol.

 

If that is "conventional male" nature, then my Daddy and other good men are proof that it can be tamed. If they don't choose to respect you right out of the gate, they're not going to suddenly wake up and realize that you need little space attention outside of sex too.

You never tested my patience, Princess...I would have waited forever for you to be comfortable, if that's what it took.  You know me, I want us both to be comfortable and enjoy everything we do...and never wanted you to sacrifice yourself, your beliefs or your boundaries just to appease me.  

[hbear]

I personally don't find being in little space a sexual thing AT ALL.

So it is a little harder to find a daddy who gets that fully.

 

But there are many daddies out there who aren't only in it for the sexual aspect.

But there are a lot more that are.

 

My biggest piece of advice is to wait. talk to the person ALOT. Really get to know them. And be clear and upfront about your wants and needs right away.

I liked to tell potential daddies "I'm really needy and not a sexual little"

 

Sometimes that'd end the conversation. But that's okay. No point in settling

[Lochees]

I'll throw in my two cents, most of those people you are talking about sound like posers just trying to get laid from some kink or think they are real daddies but they aren't. Yes some great daddies out there do have sexy times while their partner is in little space but I've never heard of them bringing that to the table right off the bat. The title daddy is earned by trust and respect and dedication. That takes time so anyone who tries too fast to get in your pants are either desperate or fake imo.

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

Your standards are not too high! That should be expected of any decent human being but, unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there with the wrong intentions. With time and patience, you will stumble upon someone who meets your needs <3 Best of luck to you.