Ideas for Beginners

[Desphiria]

Hello, I was wondering if anyone had any advice for a situation. I've been trying to get my S/O to try the DDLG relationship thing, I've given him sites to read, I've tried to explain it the best way I can, we've tried to roleplay it online but, I feel like maybe he doesn't fully understand it. We don't live anywhere near each other so it's all online, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice as to help me help him kinna understand it better? I'm not really sure how to even put it into roleplay style and it just feels weird if I try it that way, like it's not real. Is that weird, can you guys help me somehow? I don't know any other way to show him and god knows WHEN we'll be able to EVER meet each other.

[Xia]

That's a tough one.

For a while I had to explain to Daddy what I wanted, so I kinda know your pain.

The thing that started to make it more real was helping him create rules. (Which we both fail to follow well but w/e.)

Maybe ask him how he really feels about it, and explain if he's interested in trying it (Because sadly, ddlg lifestyle isn't for everyone, but if you can get him to try properly that's better than nothing!) that you'd like some rules you'd have to follow.

 

We also wrote this out together, which is more of how it actually works, so maybe try doing the same with him.

 

What Daddy should do for his little Prince/Princess.
1.    Help me brush my hair.
2.    Help me pick out clothes and food.
3.    Make me food sometimes, because I do for you
4.    Take bathies with me sometimes, and showers with me most of the time.
5.    Hold my hand.
6.    Call me my preferred words: little, princess, prince, fairy, etc. And use the right pronouns. Ask if you're confused!
7.    Give me treats when I'm good.
        -Snacks
        -Walks
        -Baths
        -Tea/Milkie
        -Massages
        -Kissies and huggies
        -Bednight stories
        -Anything to make me smile
     8.      Punish me when I'm bad
        -Spankings (but please don't rack up the number, do them as soon as I'm bad)
        -Sentences (like "I'm sorry I drank all the tea," for example, 20 times or so)
    9.      Praise me when I do good. No matter how small the good thing is.
    10.    Leave me little surprise notes or send me nice little texts when I'm gone.
    11.    Don't make threats. Punish me if I'm bad, but don't take away things or hurt me         
              because you're mad.
    12.    Always do bed night.
    13.    Never lose your temper because your day is going bad. I'm truly sorry it's bad, but I do
              what I can to help Daddy. I'm very sensitive when I'm in little space and I will cry.
    14.    Please take of boo-boos. Clean and kiss them.
    15.    Help me with chores. Doggy, laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. I do so much to help
              Daddy, so please help me too.
    16.     Let me lay on you and sit on you. :>
    17.     Always treat me with respect. To be your little is a great sign of trust. I respect you and
               let myself be vulnerable and sensitive around you. Don't treat that lightly.
    18.     If I'm sad I like hugs and kisses and pets and nice words. Please calm me down nicely
              and cheer me up.
    19.     Littles need to know they are loved, always.
    20.     Always be honest with me.
    21.     Littles need lots of sleep, please let me sleep when I'm tireddddd.
    22.     Always ask little how they are feeling.
    23.     Respect me sexually and spend time with me after sexy time.
    24.     Us time is important. And it happens every day. And no phones, laptops, or gaming
               systems are to interfer, ever.
    25.     If I'm being a brat, I want attention.
    26.     I wanna have fun when we have alone time. Please allow me to do what I want.
    27.     Don't ever break promises, ever.

What I will do for Daddy:
1.    I will get excited when daddy gets home or wakes up.
2.    I will wake Daddy up nicely and in a good mood. And more than likely excited. Sometimes with sexy time.
3.    I will make Daddy tea and food if I feel up to it. (Please don't get mad at me if I don't feel up to it.)
4.    I will listen to Daddy's rules. Please make them reasonable.
5.    I will help Daddy with chores and bathies and showers. I just can't do it all though.
6.    I will spend time apart from Daddy.
7.    I will always call you Daddy when I am alone with you.
8.    I will respect and trust you whole heartedly.
9.    I will give Daddy wonderful sexy time. I love giving making him feel very good.
10.    I will love Daddy and give him gifts.
11.    I will dress up pretty for you, if you want.

[Desphiria]

Those are lots of rules. Hmm, I could try to do that. I'm not really sure what kind of rules I would have though. Well, maybe. I can think of a bit.

[Xia]

Yeah I know it's a lot. ><

I mean simple starters could be:

 

1. I would like to call you Daddy and you call me princess (or other preferred names).

2. I want to always know you love me.

3. I want to always hear from you before bed.

4. I'd love to get sweet messages throughout the day.

5. When I'm sad, always cheer me up.

 

It's really up to you what you want and you feel comfortable with.

I'm sorry if my list was overwhelming. ><

[Desphiria]

Nah, it was alright. It wasn't too overwhelming. I'll see what i can do. ^^

[Guest sightsoblind]

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Tell him I want to try this. You be you and I'll be litte me. You can become more of what I would like slowly as you are comfortable. We can start by having a movie night and cuddles with my stuffie. I will use a name you are ok with and could you please call me "..." After we can have fun regular sexy times to show you how much this turns me on. No one learned to swim by jumping in the deep end first. Everyone starts with just their toes.

[Desphiria]

Huh, I didn't think about that. That could work too. I'll try that as well.

[Guest sightsoblind]

It's actually a great way to introduce ANYTHING new to the mix. Donnie (aka my husband/domme/daddy) and I have gone through several diffent kinds of BDSM trying to find what worked (for both of us) best. Each of us would find a thing we were intrested in trying and try it one step at a time together. NEVER during sex until we both were cool with it. Boner Killers are not just for men. If he had tried to bring a few failed things into bed i swear I would have gotten up screaming about Spiders (safe word) and locked myself in the bathroom with my toys and not spoken to him for days. Not everyone is going to be ok with everything but the fastest way to make them not ok is to take things too far too fast. Believe me his first reaction to DDLG was no... fucking... way. So I said ok and would just sit in the living room on the floor watching cartoons and coloring in my coloring books talking to my plushies. I never addressed him in my little voice until he was ok with it. He had ideas about what it was supposed to be that disappeared when I could show him it wasn't or at least didn't have to be. We compromised... he said no diapers and I said ok BUT I GET BINKIES! he said ok. Everything is about compromise. But if he asks too much and gives too little I know its hard as the submissive half but you need to know when to walk away from things that don't work too. Thats not directly at you but for all Littles and Subs out there. It is EXTRMELY hard to asert enough as the submissive partner to tell them you are not happy. Unfortunately the entire scene attacts Dommes that feel they should have final say on that. So always be careful FIRST in the begining and also at the end addressing why you are not happy and what they can do to address it. If they are not willing its time to move on.

 

 

Wow look at me it went from putting your toes in to sudddenly become the obglitory your a sub not a doormat speech lol Sorry!!! woo 0-100 anyone?

[Desphiria]

Lol! It's fine, it makes sense. I don't mind the speech. hehehe, it's very good advice. ^^ Thankies.

[mylittlemermaid]

@sightsoblind that was so helpful you don't even know! <3