First impressions and knowing who is earnest

[fawnlily]

I've on and off attempted to find a daddy, and it's always a struggle. There are a few trends I've seen.

 

Preface: Not judging these people at all, but simply expressing my frustration in finding what I want.

 

Despite being upfront that I'm looking for a substantial relationship, with sex being the last thing on my mind, a lot of guys will start talking about kinks and sex in the first message anyway. Yes, sex is part of the equation, but why in the first message? Didn't you read my post? :/

 

Or they don't, and they express themselves as being everything that I'm looking for, as if they're performing a job interview...but I suppose they don't realize that I can see the other posts they make online, which are crude and objectifying. Definitely not into that.

 

The third thing is when they go on and on about themselves, praising their own skills as a dom, and putting the sub's feelings last with their words (whether intentionally or not). I feel like they're focusing on how it makes them feel to make their sub happy and fulfilled, because they are proud of themselves - not of the sub. I see this a lot. It may be over-analyzing, but that's how it's always come across to me.

 

It makes it so hard to figure out who to trust and is worthy of my response.

 

Thanks for listening to my venting.

[MrBonesWildRide]

I definitely understand that feeling you're having. I think it's a matter of vetting, and you're just experiencing that same time of vetting but in a DDlg dynamic in which the features you want are going to be few and far between. You're not wrong in your distrust of people, because there are plenty of people who definitely pretend to be in it for the long term and fall out if sex isn't prominent.