Secret mindfuckery/psychology of respect and romantic interest

[redruffle41]

redruffle41

Originally posted on my homepage but had to share:

Hey Loved ones, here is a good one to consider.  For the daddies who just can't find the right fit no matter what. This is a big one as far as how to have a LTR or at least positive relationship with a girl.

(Caveat: humiliation, mindfuckery or degradation fits into this subject BUT I'm not talking about stuff that takes place in a scene /consented play, I'm talking about the relationship as a holistic entity that exists between two individuals).

 

Don't treat your girl in a way that if she stayed with you despite your actions, you would lose respect for her. If you want a LTR your actions can't be in conflict with your respect for your girl.  AND If you have a problem respecting women you're gonna have a hard time finding long term happiness with one. Most guys will test this at one point or another to make sure they're with a person with a strong character, to test the subs boundaries and/or just plain old human nature to slack off.  It sounds a bit backwards BUT it's possible you may lose respect or interest for a girl based on YOUR unexamined actions and attitudes.

Doms who do this especially put their sub in a position to choose between her ability to care for you (through virtues like patience, commitment, and emotional regulation) and her own self worth.  Especially in the beginning of a new relationship a sub is generally unaware of your perspective on her or on women in general.  1. Most girls WILL chose to stay at least for a while through dismissive or slightly disrespectful behavior. Girls don't see it as a weakness to hold space for someone else's (your) bullshit behavior. It's a strength to give people a chance.  She might be demonstrating some of her best character traits and the whole time you're losing respect and interest for her! Is she "letting you get away with sub par treatment", or she's "immature" or "crazy"?  Double check your actions. If you have been a gentleman then you know for sure you can walk away. But if you have been unregulated emotionally AND sexually. If your leadership is sub par. If your words say one thing and your actions say another then you're jerking her around and she is most likely doing her best to keep up with you.

 So, if you find yourself losing girls left and right and unable to find the absolutely right fit .... Check your attitude towards women in general, your attitude towards submissives and your attitude towards virtues like forgiveness, commitment, emotional regulation and temperance. In short,  check in on your leadership, your balanced masculinity, your relationship with yourself and maybe your mother 😂.

 

Subs! Keep an eye out for the FIRST TIME a Dom will "get naughty" with you or cause you disappointment and bring it to his attention right away. Don't be afraid to lose him. He should respect you for it immediately and acknowledge. If he doesn't or if he slips up repeatedly then most likely he has big issues that you can't fix namely because he won't respect you enough to actually listen to you.

[minni]

oh wow…thanks for this ! i’m new to these dynamics and never thought i’d be tested in a relationship. now i know and can be aware if that happens to me 🧐 i like to think i have high standards but once i place trust in my partner, i don’t believe id be expecting tests like this…very interesting insight into human psychology as well. 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

Doms who play these sorts of games, absolutely don't deserve to be called Daddy.

[LeftyGuitar]

Always be aware of your surroundings and always be cautious. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut.

[redruffle41]

2 hours ago, LeftyGuitar said:

Always be aware of your surroundings and always be cautious. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut.

Yah, the gut. There's no problem on calling a spade a spade and just letting the other person know that you see them, you see their words, you see their actions and decisions towards you.