A Moment of your time. potential TW under spoiler tag.

[MommyDom41]

Hi guys, usually I say all you beautiful people or Sunshines but today I was told by a member here that everything I am doing is causing more harm then good by trying to say positive things.

A few days ago I posted on a members post, I always say Sunshine not in a loving pet name or trying to pull you from your owner. But because I see you all shining bright as the Sun. 

And I left with my quote that I always do, they wrote back and asked me not to call them Sunshine and then told me they were unworthy of love. 

I of course apologized if I ever make anyone feel bad I will apologize and then want to defend them saying whoever made them feel that way should have be put in their place. Because no one should ever feel unworthy of love.

Then this morning I get a huge message telling me basically off,  that our community isn't a family and basically a lot of mean stuff towards me. Telling me off in a sense and that I am doing more harm then good by just being me.

Then I was thinking am I doing more harm then good? Am I even helping anyone? 

I always tell everyone remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved.

Spoiler

And the reason is because my brother killed himself thinking he didn't matter, he wasn't loved and wasn't Worthy of being loved. He left a note for us telling us just that. Do you know how devastating that was? He left thinking no one loved him. 

And I talked to him all the time, do you know devastating it was to hear that. To know my brother thought he wasn't loved. I told him everytime I talked to him. But he couldn't see through the pain.

I'm not writing this for someone to defend, I simply need to know if I need to back away. I couldn't bare to think of hurting anyone. I do see you all as an extended part of my family. 

In my eyes all of you are beautiful, perfect and so amazing. But if I am hurting you all by saying these positive things I will stop. 

I would rather be in the back ground cheering you on them causing any harm. I just care so much and I know sometimes too much. But I do care and I do want you all to find whatever you are searching for on here. 

Thank you all for listening to me and I hope you all have a beautiful day 💖

[SweetLittleDreamer]

You are doing nothing wrong. I would not have joined the forum if I hadn’t seen one of your posts, & I wouldn’t have stuck around when I was made to feel uncomfortable that time. 

My grandparents taught me kindness above all else, “kindness is free to give out, but to the person reserving your kindness it’s value is immeasurable” that’s a motto they lived by, and to be honest the math on that is inarguable. 
 
I don’t know who this person is, but, in my experience people often find it hard & scary to accept words offered in kindness and care, if they are only used to words loaded with hurt and hate. I don’t say that to defend or because I think it should change anything, because it does not & I am not. What they did & how they responded was incredibly wrong & hurtful & that bit is on them because we are 100% in charge & responsible for our reactions to things.

Don’t let this change you, or bring you down. Don’t let someone bring you into the dark, stay in the light. 

 

[beanbean]

Well everyone is totally titled to their opinion. A lot of us do consider it home here we have members who mostly post daily for years ,but like I said each your own and if people don’t like being called sunshine that’s valid. I personally feel your story and message are inspiring and I say keep being you I enjoy  your posts immensely 

[MommyDom41]

@SweetLittleDreamer thank you, your kind words made me feel a little less alone right now, so thank you 

[MommyDom41]

@beanbean thank you, you always are so kind to me. So I will stop using the word Sunshine in my post just so people won't get the wrong idea. Thank you for being nice to me all this time Bean

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

Petnames are problematic because of the type of site this is. That's why it's technically against the rules.

However,  imho, you've been pretty consistent in addressing everyone with the same petname and speech patterns. So,  it's rather obvious that it's not done out of you being a creep.

I think whoever got mad at you, particularly the way they did, just enjoys being angry and aggressive with others.

In a previous thread of yours, I'd warned you against using any kind of southern hospitality here, because some people just won't get it. But now, I strongly suggest continuing to just be yourself. 

Also, absolutely fuck them for saying shit about our tiny community. If they really don't like it here that much, they can always leave. There's even a handy *delete account* button that they can utilize.

[MommyDom41]

@.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ thank you my friend

And I do believe I will stop using all Southern hospitality on here from now on. I don't want to ever hurt or offend anyone. 

From that I think I will just probably stand in the back for a while. I never want to cause any harm to anyone. 

Thank you, you are a pillar in this community and people need you 

[beanbean]

16 minutes ago, MommyDom41 said:

@beanbean thank you, you always are so kind to me. So I will stop using the word Sunshine in my post just so people won't get the wrong idea. Thank you for being nice to me all this time Bean

I think I would be okay in your posts to everyone I would not stop it maybe if you enter in private conversations you can ask but I see nothing wrong with you using it like you do and I would encourage you not to stop. I like being a sunshine 😁😁

[MommyDom41]

@beanbean thank you bean today's been a hard day 

You have no idea how comforting your words are 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

And that's okay to choose to stop using them, if that's what you want to do. But I hope you're positivity doesn't dwindle away because of this.

[-Soul-]

Miss Anna, you have been a beacon of hope for many! When the oceans are dark yours the light house showing the way home, when the oceans are choppy your the anchor keeping people from drifting away!

Maybe this person was having an off day? It’s hard to say what some people think, but we here are a community yes, but to me that’s what a community is like, a small family and we look out for each other. That’s all you have ever done, looked out for people! You have everyone’s intentions before your own and you do your best to ensure that everyone is left feeling welcomed and loved! Something everyone is entitled to! (Despite what they think)

l beg you not to change! Stay unapologetically you! Some people may not like it but there are more positives than negative peoples I ensure you! 
 

as always! Until we meet again!! Remember you are loved, you are cared for and you are a highly respected member of this community!

 

[MommyDom41]

@.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ thank you, and usually I can handle the negativity today is just a hard day for me 

[beanbean]

3 minutes ago, MommyDom41 said:

@beanbean thank you bean today's been a hard day 

You have no idea how comforting your words are 

Good never stop being you

[MommyDom41]

@-Soul- thank you, as always you are so kind and so uplifting. 

Today has been on an off day for me. I keep reminding myself it's okay to be sad and to look on the brighter side of things. 

I feel like I've let so many down and it's a horrible feeling. 

I will try to regain my positivity, until I do please keep being there for them..

You are an inspiration to so many don't ever forget that 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

That's fair~ We all have those kinda days. I hope your day gets better. ♡

[-Soul-]

@MommyDom41 off days are okay! What isn’t okay are people trying to extinguish others flames! We YOUR FAMILY here will add logs to your flame, we will stoke your fire and we will protect you from the winds that threaten!

 

we love you! Please never change 

[TinyBunni222]

i don't think you're doing anything wrong! not everyone will react the same way to things obviously but doesn't mean it's your fault :(( i think your posts are great and they had no right to be mean when u apologized for it already

[MommyDom41]

@TinyBunni222 thank you for your kind words

I don't blame them, some people are always angry and I have to understand I am not everyones cup of tea 

[TinyBunni222]

@MommyDom41still it's not a good reason.. i hope u don't feel too bad abt it :((<3

[-Soul-]

@MommyDom41 see, even after them hurting you your still defending them and giving reasoning because no matter what you see the good in people and you lift people up, this is why our Family needs you! 

[beanbean]

5 minutes ago, -Soul- said:

@MommyDom41 see, even after them hurting you your still defending them and giving reasoning because no matter what you see the good in people and you lift people up, this is why our Family needs you! 

Lol if there angry there at least a little at fault 

[Aikko]

Someone doesn’t want to be called sunshine, their prerogative. However, hurt people hurt people, so it sounds as if they were just lashing out. Kindness in any fashion, especially on a site like this, can dredge up all kinds of repressed feelings of self-loathing and hurt. In my opinion, which you can take with a grain of salt obviously as this is the internet, but fuck that noise. It should have stopped simply with “I prefer not to be called sunshine, thank you.” Any further insults or additional venom and drivel spewed following said polite asking to refrain from pet names is garbage. Perhaps THEY don’t feel this is a family or community because they don’t recognize the healthy dynamics we all have with each other. I have a Daddy and he’s on here, but I also have friends I consider family here. Like I’ve mentioned previously on a post, family dynamics can be hard for people and when they see it modeled here through our kind interactions that border on familial familiarity, they may not be receptive of that level of attention. Again, just my opinion, but if you’re comfortable with yourself and how you communicate with people, then do not change. Respect someone asking politely to refrain, but in situations like this, the reaction was excessive and unnecessary. You’re part of this FAMILY here. Do what you feel you must, but just know we are all here for you whenever and however we can be.

You are loved and worthy of being loved. 💜

[beanbean]

4 minutes ago, Aikko said:

Someone doesn’t want to be called sunshine, their prerogative. However, hurt people hurt people, so it sounds as if they were just lashing out. Kindness in any fashion, especially on a site like this, can dredge up all kinds of repressed feelings of self-loathing and hurt. In my opinion, which you can take with a grain of salt obviously as this is the internet, but fuck that noise. It should have stopped simply with “I prefer not to be called sunshine, thank you.” Any further insults or additional venom and drivel spewed following said polite asking to refrain from pet names is garbage. Perhaps THEY don’t feel this is a family or community because they don’t recognize the healthy dynamics we all have with each other. I have a Daddy and he’s on here, but I also have friends I consider family here. Like I’ve mentioned previously on a post, family dynamics can be hard for people and when they see it modeled here through our kind interactions that border on familial familiarity, they may not be receptive of that level of attention. Again, just my opinion, but if you’re comfortable with yourself and how you communicate with people, then do not change. Respect someone asking politely to refrain, but in situations like this, the reaction was excessive and unnecessary. You’re part of this FAMILY here. Do what you feel you must, but just know we are all here for you whenever and however we can be.

You are loved and worthy of being loved. 💜

Plus as our dear friend @-Soul-pointed out the responses sure seem like family retorts to me . Just another reason you people make me proud 

[SensitiveEeyore]

Oh Sissy Anna I love your post, I log on often just to see if you've put anything new up cause it always brings light to my day and makes me feel better. You've helped me through some rough days and are always supportive. Please don't change what your doing over one person and never apologize. You didn't do anything wrong they are just having a day or angry at the something and taking it out on you. 

 

[MommyDom41]

@Aikko thank you for kindness 

You are a true inspiration to this community, you truly are. 

Thank you, I honestly believe I upset them and they are hurting. 

I wish they could see that we are a family and that any of you would help them. 

Thank you Aikko you are such an important part of this community don't ever stop being yourself