Vent or rant not sure what but I need to talk.

[BabyChaos]

I’m a 43 year old middle/little and my daughters and I had a bad experience with my X-husband (my son’s father) and now I’m scared to bring anyone home. Is it normal that I feel that way and only want to do online? Or long distance? And for “other needs” to just find someone to “hook up with”?

[beanbean]

I think it’s very normal in your situation to do that for sure .trust is hard to earn back

[BabyChaos]

Thank you beanbean I need to hear that.

[MommyDom41]

Yes, it's very normal Sunshine, and it's okay to feel that way for a while. Your feelings are valid, and don't let anyone try to bully their way into your life. Just like beanbean said trust is earned not given. 

You are allowed to vent and you are seen as well as heard!

Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 💓

[Aikko]

It’s not only normal, but advisable, to be cautious after a bad experience romantically. You’re a mama bear with cubs to look after, so it is totally normal to not want to expose them to that again. As for online only, that’s something only you can answer. If you’re okay with that aspect of a dynamic being online and only fulfilling physical needs with random hookups, good for you! I don’t think it’s anything you need to feel conflicted or guilty about. If it’s something you find works for you, great!! If not, well? Then you learned it’s not something you are interested in and that’s great in my mind too. 

[Baby Manda]

I want to echo the words above, yes your feelings are valid! It is so hard to trust again and trust is earned, not given easily.  

If online only is what feels safe for now, then follow that, but also know that it is ok to just be friends. Enjoy the company of others and yourself for a while. Learn what safe feels like again before jumping into something new. 

As for the other needs, dear friend, I have been exactly where you are and I have tried the "random hook-ups". It's not always as helpful as it appears, and can really create some anxiety later on for you. There are other ways to get those needs met, that are safer for you. If you need a friend to talk about this, please message me.  I'm a 9 years out from my abusive marriage.  It does get easier to trust again, but what you're facing now is so hard! My heart breaks with you as you struggle through this time. 

 

[BabyChaos]

It’s not completely Radom hookups, I have a few trusted friends with benefits that I have known for years. So I feel safe with them and my kids already know them as friends from when I was in high school.so my kids feel safe around them.