New to DDlg/DDlb

[bluebowedpuppy]

A vent/kinda a question?

I've more recently been expressing to my boyfriend/daddy about my interest in ddlb like activities without directly using that term. I've called him daddy basically since we've started dating and there's always been an element of it. He calls me his baby/little boy and lets me suck his thumb when we cuddle but I'm just nervous that if I directly express my interest in that dynamic he'll think I'm weird and stuff. He's down really for anything that makes me happy and he's had no aversion when I talk about wanting him to hold and cuddle me while I snuggle with a stuffed animal or suck his thumb. All in all, this problem(?) came to me as I want to ask him for a paci but I'm just generally nervous. Any advice for a new-commer?

 

Update:

We talked and he seems perfectly fine with it, hopefully getting my first paci soon :3

Edited March 24 by bluebowedpuppy
Update

[beanbean]

Sounds like he is pretty open about it . I would just ask him I think the way you describe him . I would not think he will judge you 

[Baby Manda]

I agree with @beanbean. Sometimes the fear is so big in my head I get cranky because my needs aren't met. My Daddy/Mommy/Caregiver already knows what I'm going to ask, he/she/they are just waiting for me to say the words. Slow deep breaths and maybe ask while you're holding your stuffie. I always need my stuffie friends to help me with big things. 

[Diorama]

Well, I think he is open to it, but you are progressing already in the ddlg without naming it that way. imo that is what counts... the real dynamic, not in what box you would put it. So I would suggest you continue adding new things into your relationship and get the dynamic you want with him. Because every dynamic is different within any couple, so what's in a name... Like construct your life without the boundaries of the ddlg box and you will have a flourishing relationship.

I got on this because I always think that people in BDSM love to put labels on what they are doing, and that is confusing because it is fluid to begin with and it should be. There are no conventions or dictates on how to behave

Enjoy your Daddy and all it brings to you

[Dangerously_Well]

It sounds like you're in a really exciting but also a bit nerve-wracking stage of exploring your interest in D/lg with your boyfriend/Daddy! It's wonderful that you already have such a loving and affectionate dynamic with him, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling a little hesitant about taking it further.

It's great that he's already been so receptive to the "little" aspects you've introduced, like calling him Daddy, him calling you "baby/little boy," and letting you suck his thumb. That's a really positive sign!

Here's some compassionate advice for you as a newcomer to navigating this:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

• It's okay to be nervous! It's a vulnerable thing to share a part of yourself that might feel a bit different or unconventional. Your feelings are completely valid.
• It's also okay to be excited! It sounds like you're exploring something that could bring you a lot of joy and comfort.

2. Continue with Gradual Steps:

• You've already been doing this, which is great! You've been testing the waters and seeing how he reacts, and he's been positive so far.
• This is a good approach. You don't have to reveal everything all at once.

3. When Introducing the Paci (or other items):

• Choose a good time: Pick a moment when you both feel relaxed and connected. Maybe after a cuddle session or a time when you're already feeling close.
• Keep it casual: You don't have to make it a huge, dramatic announcement. You could casually mention that you've been thinking about getting a paci and that you think it might be something you'd enjoy.
• Focus on the feeling: Instead of focusing on the label or the "rules" of D/lg, you could emphasize how the paci makes you feel. For example:
  • "I've been thinking about getting a pacifier. It seems like it would be really comforting."
  • "I saw this paci, and it made me feel really happy and relaxed. I think it might be a nice way for me to unwind."
• Gauge his reaction: Pay attention to his response. Does he seem curious, accepting, or hesitant? His reaction will give you clues about how to proceed.

4. Open Communication is Key:

• Reassurance: Reassure him that you value your relationship and that exploring this doesn't have to change things drastically if he's not comfortable with that.
• Honesty: Be honest about your feelings and your desire to explore this part of yourself.
• Listen to him: Give him space to express his thoughts and feelings, and listen openly without judgment.
• Go at his pace: If he's open to it but needs time to adjust, be patient and understanding.

5. Remember:

• You're doing great: You've already established a loving dynamic, and that's the most important foundation.
• It's okay to explore: It's perfectly normal to be curious and want to try new things.
• Your happiness matters: If exploring this dynamic makes you happy and feels right for you, then it's worth pursuing.

It sounds like you have a very supportive boyfriend/Daddy, and that's a wonderful thing. With open communication and a little courage, you can explore this together and see what feels best for both of you. Good luck!

[MasterPhotog]

6 minutes ago, Dangerously_Well said:

It sounds like you're in a really exciting but also a bit nerve-wracking stage of exploring your interest in D/lg with your boyfriend/Daddy! It's wonderful that you already have such a loving and affectionate dynamic with him, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling a little hesitant about taking it further.

It's great that he's already been so receptive to the "little" aspects you've introduced, like calling him Daddy, him calling you "baby/little boy," and letting you suck his thumb. That's a really positive sign!

Here's some compassionate advice for you as a newcomer to navigating this:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

• It's okay to be nervous! It's a vulnerable thing to share a part of yourself that might feel a bit different or unconventional. Your feelings are completely valid.
• It's also okay to be excited! It sounds like you're exploring something that could bring you a lot of joy and comfort.

2. Continue with Gradual Steps:

• You've already been doing this, which is great! You've been testing the waters and seeing how he reacts, and he's been positive so far.
• This is a good approach. You don't have to reveal everything all at once.

3. When Introducing the Paci (or other items):

• Choose a good time: Pick a moment when you both feel relaxed and connected. Maybe after a cuddle session or a time when you're already feeling close.
• Keep it casual: You don't have to make it a huge, dramatic announcement. You could casually mention that you've been thinking about getting a paci and that you think it might be something you'd enjoy.
• Focus on the feeling: Instead of focusing on the label or the "rules" of D/lg, you could emphasize how the paci makes you feel. For example:
  • "I've been thinking about getting a pacifier. It seems like it would be really comforting."
  • "I saw this paci, and it made me feel really happy and relaxed. I think it might be a nice way for me to unwind."
• Gauge his reaction: Pay attention to his response. Does he seem curious, accepting, or hesitant? His reaction will give you clues about how to proceed.

4. Open Communication is Key:

• Reassurance: Reassure him that you value your relationship and that exploring this doesn't have to change things drastically if he's not comfortable with that.
• Honesty: Be honest about your feelings and your desire to explore this part of yourself.
• Listen to him: Give him space to express his thoughts and feelings, and listen openly without judgment.
• Go at his pace: If he's open to it but needs time to adjust, be patient and understanding.

5. Remember:

• You're doing great: You've already established a loving dynamic, and that's the most important foundation.
• It's okay to explore: It's perfectly normal to be curious and want to try new things.
• Your happiness matters: If exploring this dynamic makes you happy and feels right for you, then it's worth pursuing.

It sounds like you have a very supportive boyfriend/Daddy, and that's a wonderful thing. With open communication and a little courage, you can explore this together and see what feels best for both of you. Good luck!

@Dangerously_Well This is so thorough, amazingly and perfectly said. Keep up the good work!