Big Book of Dad Jokes.

[beanbean]

My girlfriend says I tell too many bee jokes and it’s annoying. I have to admit that  stung!

[beanbean]

I am not saying I am attractive but when I get naked I turn the shower on

[beanbean]

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law

[beanbean]

I took my daughter to the pet store , and we looked at parrots , I asked the clerk if I could get on for my daughter. He said we don’t do trades only cash

[beanbean]

On the way to work I yelled cow at a woman on bicycle she looke at me and yelled rood , then plowed in to a cow

[beanbean]

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia, and she whispered there right behind you

[Baby Manda]

On 3/28/2025 at 10:34 PM, beanbean said:

I am not saying I am attractive but when I get naked I turn the shower on

Ok this one took me some time to figure out... I'm so sorry... I feel very ummm.... little rn....🫣🤭😆

Thanks for making me laugh again!

[beanbean]

5 hours ago, Baby Manda said:

Ok this one took me some time to figure out... I'm so sorry... I feel very ummm.... little rn....🫣🤭😆

Thanks for making me laugh again!

Haha some of I post take a minute for me to get too

5 hours ago, Baby Manda said:

Ok this one took me some time to figure out... I'm so sorry... I feel very ummm.... little rn....🫣🤭😆

Thanks for making me laugh again!

 

[beanbean]

Was at the public swimming pool and had to pee in the pool . It would have been fine but the lifeguard yelled at me so loud I fell in 

[beanbean]

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes ! Now I have now I have heinzsight

[Baby Manda]

1 minute ago, beanbean said:

Was at the public swimming pool and had to pee in the pool . It would have been fine but the lifeguard yelled at me so loud I fell in 

Hahaha!!!!! That caught me off guard... maybe coz it's late and I'm tired and hungry, but this is hilarious 😂 

[beanbean]

What did 50 cent do when he was hungry? 58

[beanbean]

6 hours ago, Baby Manda said:

Hahaha!!!!! That caught me off guard... maybe coz it's late and I'm tired and hungry, but this is hilarious 😂 

Lol yeah it’s funny 

[beanbean]

I always wondered why Waldo wore stripes.. then I realized he didn’t want to be spotted 

[beanbean]

I was recently coaxed in to buying a hammock. What can I say I am easily swayed 

[beanbean]

I left the gate open and my cow ran away from the farm last night. It was big missed steak

[WizardofOSS]

Nice jokes BeanBean! I'm inspired to share a few too.

 

Why did the tomato blush?

He saw the salad dressing!

[WizardofOSS]

What did the Buffalo Daddy say to his kid as he dropped him off at School?

 

Bison!!

 

 

[WizardofOSS]

After talking to a Hippie and his wife, I found out something. What do you call the wife of a Hippie?

 

 

Misses Hippie!!

 

((Kids love saying this one!!))

[WizardofOSS]

What do you call a woman throwing her bills into the fire?

 

Bernadette!

[WizardofOSS]

It doesn't matter how much kindness and generosity you teach your children, 

German kids will always be Kinder.

 

 

Spoiler

In case you don't know, the German word for children is "Kinder" as in "Kindergarden" 

 

[WizardofOSS]

Where do Lizards go to fix their fallen tails?

The Retail store!

[WizardofOSS]

Finally...

 

What do you call Baby Potatoes?

 

Tater Tots!!

 

((I'll post more tomorrow! This is fun!!))

[NR_Daddy]

2 minutes ago, WizardofOSS said:

It doesn't matter how much kindness and generosity you teach your children, 

German kids will always be Kinder.

 

 

  Hide contents

In case you don't know, the German word for children is "Kinder" as in "Kindergarden" 

 

And there was me, and perhaps some others thinking of this to begin with 🤣...

[WizardofOSS]

I'll bet there's people in the US that just assume that chocolate is nicer somehow because it's "Kinder!"

LOL!!

 

Oh...I miss the OG Kinder Eggs though. Kids here don't know what they're missing!! 🫠