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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

In the mornings, I usually wake up grumpy...

 

This morning though, I let her sleep!

Posted

((Not quite a Dad joke, but I thought it was hilarious!))

A Rooster wakes up early Easter morning, sticks his head out of the chicken coop and sees all these colored eggs all over the farmyard. He takes a close look at the colored eggs, then looks at the sleeping Hens in the Coop and thinks about it for a minute.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then he walks over and beats up the Peacock.

Peacock GIF by Nat Geo Wild

Posted (edited)

Jesus was born on Christmas, died on Good Friday and rose again on Easter.

 

 

 

 

 

What are the odds of that happening on those exact dates??

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

How do you make easter easier?

 

 

 

 

Uncross the "t" and dot the "I" of course!!

Posted (edited)

Why is Sunday afraid of Easter?

 

 

 

Because Easter falls on Sunday!!

 

rabbit no GIF

(Extra Joke: the bunnies are called Easter & Sunday) 🤣

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • snickering 1
Posted

Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?

 

 

 

No bunny nose.

 

Animated GIF

  • giggling 2
Posted

What do you call someone who doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny?

 

 

 

An Eggnostic

Easter Bunny Jump GIF

  • Like 1
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Posted

What's an astronauts favorite part of the computer?

The space bar

  • giggling 3
Posted
8 minutes ago, Warmandfuzzy said:

What's an astronauts favorite part of the computer?

The space bar

Probably where they get there drinks too😂

  • giggling 1
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Posted

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it

  • giggling 1
Posted

I don't trust stairs...they are always up to something

  • giggling 1
Posted

How does cereal pay its bills?

With Chex

  • giggling 1
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Posted

Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, its tearable

  • giggling 2
Posted

How do you know that french fries were not cooked in France?

They are cooked in Greece

  • ROFL 1
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Posted

Which days are the strongest?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays

  • ROFL 1
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Posted

What did one monocle say to the other monocle?

Let's get together and make a spectacle of ourselves

  • giggling 1
Posted

How do you make a water bed bouncier?

Add spring water

  • giggling 2
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Posted

Where do dads store their dad jokes?

In the dad-a-base

  • 100 percent yes 1
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Posted

What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad

  • giggling 2
Posted

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?  There middle name

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do you call a dad that promises winter vacations but doesn’t deliver??  A flake

  • giggling 1
Posted

Whenever my car hits a pothole it sends a jolt thru my back ! I don’t know if it’s the shock or the struts     . The suspension is killing me

  • giggling 1
Posted

I just got busted for stealing wine ,, now there taking me to cork

  • giggling 1
Posted

If your ever assaulted by a knight or a rook you should go to the hospital.. chess pains are serious 

  • giggling 1

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