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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

I just crashed my Kia       . Now I have A Nokia 

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Posted

I went to the doctor a told him that my problem is I always take a dump at six . He looked at me puzzled and said why is that a problem?    Well I said I don’t wake up till seven 

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Posted

How do you stop an elephant from charging?   Take away his credit cards

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Posted

The phone company called me and told me I had an outstanding account!!  I said why thank you

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Posted

Q: What does the Pokemon Eevee turn into when you give her money?

 

A: Patreon

 

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Posted

I saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching....

 

 

 

 

... to reverse and leaving the scene!!

 

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Posted

Where do Atheists donate their money?

 

 

To Non-Prophet Organizations!

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Posted

Q: What kind of money do they use on Superman's Home World?

 

 

A: Kryptocurrency

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Posted

My wife texted now bear with me . I assuming the zoo heist was a success 

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Posted

How would you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? Just call them and tell them you can’t come

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Posted

What do you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns? Go for the juggler 

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Posted

Whats yellow and goes up and down?

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

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Posted

A women saw her husband standing on the bathroom scale sucking in his stomach. She scoffed at him ha that not going to help . He said sure it will that’s the only way I can see the numbers 

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Posted

Do you know adults can become invisible up until the have kids?  But at that point they be come apparent 

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Posted

When does a Dad Joke become a Dad Joke?

 

 

 

When it's fully groan!

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Posted

Dad? Can you explain what a Solar Eclipse is?

 

 

 

No, sun.

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Posted

What did the Buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off at school?

 

 

 

Bye Son!!!

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Posted

Why are the Romans so bad at Algebra?

 

 

 

Because "What is X?" is always 10!!!

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Posted

Why are Bacteria so bad at Math?

 

 

 

They Multiply by Dividing!!!

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Posted

Why does a Chicken Coup have only 2 Doors?

 

 

 

Because if it had 4 Doors it would be a Sedan!

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Posted

What do you call a Coke with no Ice?

 

 

 

 

A Blind Coke!!

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Posted

Why did the belt get arrested ??he was holding up a pair of pants 

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Posted

Amal and Juan are identical twins and there mother only carries one photo in her wallet.. if  you seen Juan you’ve seen Amal

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