curious1 Posted March 19 Report Posted March 19 I think this is more of a vent than anything. I feel so defeated and confused. I really thought the whole idea of Daddy Doms was somewhat firm at times yes but supportive. I thought that saying you were feeling anxious worried or unsure was okay I thought that the point was to communicate those things. I thought there would be rules yes things to work on but that it wouldn't make me feel like a failure. I know I'm sensitive I know I have things to work on. I guess I feel defeated and like I dont at all understand this whole idea. 1 1
Dangerously_Well Posted March 19 Report Posted March 19 Oh, sweetheart, it sounds like you're going through a really tough time, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling defeated and confused. It's so disheartening when our expectations of a dynamic don't match the reality, and it's especially painful when it makes us feel like a failure. You're absolutely right to expect support and open communication in a D/lg dynamic. While there might be rules and structure, it should never come at the cost of your emotional well-being. Saying you're feeling anxious, worried, or unsure should always be met with understanding and reassurance, not judgment. It's valid to feel disappointed and confused if you're experiencing a dynamic that makes you feel like a failure. D/lg should be a supportive and nurturing experience, not one that triggers feelings of inadequacy. It's important to remember that: Your feelings are valid: You're not being "too sensitive" for feeling hurt or confused. Your emotions are real and important. Communication is key: You're right to believe that open and honest communication is essential in any relationship, especially in D/lg. You deserve support: A good Daddy Dom or Caregiver should be a source of support, not a source of stress or shame. It sounds like you're questioning your understanding of the whole D/lg idea, and that's okay. It's a complex dynamic, and it's not always easy to find the right fit. Please know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Many people have had similar experiences, and it's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and understanding. If you ever want to talk more about what you're going through, or if you have any questions or just need to vent, I'm here to listen. I'm happy to offer any support or insights I can. You don't have to go through this alone. 1 1
redruffle41 Posted March 19 Report Posted March 19 13 minutes ago, curious1 said: I think this is more of a vent than anything. I feel so defeated and confused. I really thought the whole idea of Daddy Doms was somewhat firm at times yes but supportive. I thought that saying you were feeling anxious worried or unsure was okay I thought that the point was to communicate those things. I thought there would be rules yes things to work on but that it wouldn't make me feel like a failure. I know I'm sensitive I know I have things to work on. I guess I feel defeated and like I dont at all understand this whole idea. Girl!!! Same. It's ok, stuff just gets complicated sometimes. I think you can pick out from this experience some info about what you want and and need from a Daddy. You don't deserve to feel like you have to perform, or jump when a guy says jump. That's not it at all. I doubt you're a failure. But I bet there's some learning in what you're going through. My recommendation is friends, friends, friends! Talk with folks who aren't emotionally charged for you. And breathe feel and take care of yourself everyday. Pm me if u want to talk cuz we have all been there 💜 1 1 1
beanbean Posted March 19 Report Posted March 19 23 minutes ago, curious1 said: I think this is more of a vent than anything. I feel so defeated and confused. I really thought the whole idea of Daddy Doms was somewhat firm at times yes but supportive. I thought that saying you were feeling anxious worried or unsure was okay I thought that the point was to communicate those things. I thought there would be rules yes things to work on but that it wouldn't make me feel like a failure. I know I'm sensitive I know I have things to work on. I guess I feel defeated and like I dont at all understand this whole idea. Just sounds like you haven’t found the right daddy dom yet you definitely can found some that care more about you then the rules there out there sometimes in just takes time and there lots of different types of caregivers out there 1
Baby Manda Posted March 19 Report Posted March 19 Big hugs! Your feelings matter, too. It is hard to share about big feelings, so here's some I always need to hear: I am so proud of you for sharing your feelings! You are not a failure because you feel anxious worried or afraid. We as a community are here for you. Take a deep breath sweet little one. Hug your stuffies and remember this is a moment, and you will be strong and courageous again soon. Big hugs, sweet friend! 1 1
curious1 Posted March 19 Author Report Posted March 19 9 minutes ago, beanbean said: Just sounds like you haven’t found the right daddy dom yet you definitely can found some that care more about you then the rules there out there sometimes in just takes time and there lots of different types of caregivers out there Thank you I try to remember that guess it's just hard sometimes.
curious1 Posted March 19 Author Report Posted March 19 3 minutes ago, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said: Big hugs! Your feelings matter, too. It is hard to share about big feelings, so here's some I always need to hear: I am so proud of you for sharing your feelings! You are not a failure because you feel anxious worried or afraid. We as a community are here for you. Take a deep breath sweet little one. Hug your stuffies and remember this is a moment, and you will be strong and courageous again soon. Big hugs, sweet friend! Thank you I appreciate it ❤️
beanbean Posted March 19 Report Posted March 19 26 minutes ago, curious1 said: Thank you I try to remember that guess it's just hard sometimes. It’s very hard sometimes I get that the struggle is real 1
curious1 Posted March 19 Author Report Posted March 19 3 minutes ago, beanbean said: It’s very hard sometimes I get that the struggle is real Oh my gosh is it ever! (Reminds me of a mug I have with a trex holding a taco and has that saying on it ) always made me giggle. Just going to try and enjoy the rest of the day it is sunny here and flip flops are out lol just have to try and learn from it and move on felt better writing about it had a good cry over coffee lol now going to enjoy this sun 🌞 ☀️ 🌤
beanbean Posted March 19 Report Posted March 19 9 minutes ago, curious1 said: Oh my gosh is it ever! (Reminds me of a mug I have with a trex holding a taco and has that saying on it ) always made me giggle. Just going to try and enjoy the rest of the day it is sunny here and flip flops are out lol just have to try and learn from it and move on felt better writing about it had a good cry over coffee lol now going to enjoy this sun 🌞 ☀️ 🌤 Coffee makes things better always 1
curious1 Posted March 19 Author Report Posted March 19 20 minutes ago, beanbean said: Coffee makes things better always Agreed!
redruffle41 Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 On 3/19/2025 at 9:32 AM, curious1 said: Oh my gosh is it ever! (Reminds me of a mug I have with a trex holding a taco and has that saying on it ) always made me giggle. Just going to try and enjoy the rest of the day it is sunny here and flip flops are out lol just have to try and learn from it and move on felt better writing about it had a good cry over coffee lol now going to enjoy this sun 🌞 ☀️ 🌤 Please post picture of said coffee mug 🥺 1
MommyDom41 Posted March 24 Report Posted March 24 I absolutely hate that you feel this way, Sunshine you are not a failure. To me as Dom's we are to help you grow not to make you feel as though you failed us. When a Dom sets rules no matter what kind it should be to help you, to support you and to show you how to love yourself. We are to uplift our littles/subs/slaves or whoever we are with. Not to make them feel unwanted or defeated. Sunshine you are not a failure, you are brave, wonderful, perfect and beautiful just the way you are. Don't ever let someone try to cover that beautiful light from inside you. You are seen, you are heard and you are valued. I see you, I hear you and I value you! Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 💟 1
curious1 Posted Friday at 02:01 AM Author Report Posted Friday at 02:01 AM On 3/24/2025 at 11:14 AM, MommyDom41 said: I absolutely hate that you feel this way, Sunshine you are not a failure. To me as Dom's we are to help you grow not to make you feel as though you failed us. When a Dom sets rules no matter what kind it should be to help you, to support you and to show you how to love yourself. We are to uplift our littles/subs/slaves or whoever we are with. Not to make them feel unwanted or defeated. Sunshine you are not a failure, you are brave, wonderful, perfect and beautiful just the way you are. Don't ever let someone try to cover that beautiful light from inside you. You are seen, you are heard and you are valued. I see you, I hear you and I value you! Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 💟 Thank you 1
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