LDR in a DDlg relationship?

[the_trucking_pawpaw]

I just wanted see what is some of y'alls take on a LDR in the DDlg dynamic. I know CG's and their littles often live together as partners or close to each other. I also know it's not always the case. The issue for me is that I'm a truck driver, so I am all over the US. That would make it hard for me to be physically present as a caregiver. I'm also not necessarily looking for anything more than platonic, although that could change or evolve, depending on the relationship we have. I just wondered if any of you think ldr in the dynamic could be an option or if you're totally against it and reasons for both. Also, are there Littles out there that would be OK with that type situation. We could call/chat in the mornings and do video at times. Lots of virtual hugs, cuddles and smooches! Not saying that we couldn't ever meet in person though at some point because I would very much look forward to that, as well.

I'm also curious about using apps like task trackers in an ldr. Seems like it could be of value in that aspect, but also for those who live with their little as well. Afterall, you're not spending 24/7 together in most cases, right?

 

Let me know what you think. I would be happy to get some responses from littles on the subject as well.

 

[Little kaiya]

Certainly there are couples out there into DDlg that are in LDRs. For my Daddy and I it's not something we would ever have considered. We are both very tactile people so physical touch for things like cuddles are INCREDIBLY important to us and in an LDR that kind of physical contact just doesn't happen. A lot of the things that we enjoy most like bath time, snuggling for story time, me curling up on His chest to watch a movie and much much more, all require physical contact. 

If other people find an LDR works for them it's not up to us to judge or say it's good or bad or anything because it isn't our relationship. For us though without that ongoing ability to have physical touch to really connect whenever we want, well a relationship wouldn't be fulfilling or long lasting for either of us.

[curious1]

In the beginning I was totally against it I thought I really needed to be able to meet someone in person. I feel like more recently it seems like a good option to explore. Personally I really feel like it comes down to communication at least for me anyway. I think if you can build trust online and learn from eachother, be open to trying things to see if they work for eachother as well as make the time to communicate it can work. That being said I think time zones can make things hard so something to consider.  I don't have much experience at all so mine might not be the best opinion to take but I'll share it anyway hope it helps 

[ohyeahmetoo]

The relationship my little and I have takes place entirely over the internet. I am in the US. She is on the other side of the planet from me. We share videos using IG, we communicate using WhatsApp and Telegram. I take her on walks with me. We read to each other. We can watch movies together. We can keep each other company, as she did this morning while I made breakfast for myself. Last weekend we ran errands together. It is a much more satisfying relationship for me than many IRL relationships. We would love to have physical contact and one day we will. But the feelings we have now are in no way diminished by how our relationship is conducted now. 

It may not be for everyone but it works for us. 

[Aikko]

With this being such a niche community, many of us find our partners online. At least to start. For my situation, my Daddy and I began talking on here first. He was in NC and I was in PA. After talking for awhile, we agreed to meet and see if the connection was there in person, too. As no two situations are alike, you should first develop an idea of what you might be seeking in a partnership. If you’re okay with LDR, and not currently seeking to move it beyond that, communicate that. If you know someday, you’d like to be in-person with someone, communicate that. If you want strictly platonic, communicate that. I’m sure you’re sensing a theme here….communicate! This in my opinion, more than any other subsection of “kink” or “lifestyle choice”, requires constant communication to avoid any misunderstandings. But to answer your question, yes, LDR can work. If you both communicate and continually reevaluate where you’re at in the relationship and discuss any changes or desires you both might develop as things progress. Talking with your partner and incorporating their desires and wishes is key for both parties to have a harmonious partnership. And it’s okay if at some point you decide you want more from something, just continue to be open and honest with your partner(s). 

[the_trucking_pawpaw]

1 hour ago, Little kaiya said:

Certainly there are couples out there into DDlg that are in LDRs. For my Daddy and I it's not something we would ever have considered. We are both very tactile people so physical touch for things like cuddles are INCREDIBLY important to us and in an LDR that kind of physical contact just doesn't happen. A lot of the things that we enjoy most like bath time, snuggling for story time, me curling up on His chest to watch a movie and much much more, all require physical contact. 

If other people find an LDR works for them it's not up to us to judge or say it's good or bad or anything because it isn't our relationship. For us though without that ongoing ability to have physical touch to really connect whenever we want, well a relationship wouldn't be fulfilling or long lasting for either of us.

That is the part that we would both certainly miss out on which is why I would be open to meeting irl at some point and see if we still connect in person. If so, then we could possibly meet as often as I can get to my littles location. It would never be often enough of course but if my little partner can work with it I would be willing to do whatever is needed in between. And I'm not averse to taking it beyond platonic at some point either.

[the_trucking_pawpaw]

49 minutes ago, ohyeahmetoo said:

The relationship my little and I have takes place entirely over the internet. I am in the US. She is on the other side of the planet from me. We share videos using IG, we communicate using WhatsApp and Telegram. I take her on walks with me. We read to each other. We can watch movies together. We can keep each other company, as she did this morning while I made breakfast for myself. Last weekend we ran errands together. It is a much more satisfying relationship for me than many IRL relationships. We would love to have physical contact and one day we will. But the feelings we have now are in no way diminished by how our relationship is conducted now. 

It may not be for everyone but it works for us. 

For me at the moment over the internet would work best, but I too would like to ,eet eventually. Finding a little in another country would be fine, but I don't see me traveling overseas anytime soon so it would be strictly internet which is fine too. I don't know how long you have been with your little but it sounds like you definitely make it work!

[the_trucking_pawpaw]

48 minutes ago, Aikko said:

With this being such a niche community, many of us find our partners online. At least to start. For my situation, my Daddy and I began talking on here first. He was in NC and I was in PA. After talking for awhile, we agreed to meet and see if the connection was there in person, too. As no two situations are alike, you should first develop an idea of what you might be seeking in a partnership. If you’re okay with LDR, and not currently seeking to move it beyond that, communicate that. If you know someday, you’d like to be in-person with someone, communicate that. If you want strictly platonic, communicate that. I’m sure you’re sensing a theme here….communicate! This in my opinion, more than any other subsection of “kink” or “lifestyle choice”, requires constant communication to avoid any misunderstandings. But to answer your question, yes, LDR can work. If you both communicate and continually reevaluate where you’re at in the relationship and discuss any changes or desires you both might develop as things progress. Talking with your partner and incorporating their desires and wishes is key for both parties to have a harmonious partnership. And it’s okay if at some point you decide you want more from something, just continue to be open and honest with your partner(s). 

Makes perfect sense and thanks for making that very clear. It should go without saying that communication is key to any type of relationship. If there is one thing I can take away from my research so far is just that- communication. Thanks again!

[beanbean]

I mean to me to have a successful long distance relationship you need lots of communication and patience to reach out make sure they know your head is in the game but sometimes there will not be instant responses . It’s all a balance

[the_trucking_pawpaw]

52 minutes ago, beanbean said:

I mean to me to have a successful long distance relationship you need lots of communication and patience to reach out make sure they know your head is in the game but sometimes there will not be instant responses . It’s all a balance

For me that is where things like texts, calls (video or not), setting up a daily routine and task trackers could be helpful. Keeping as much communication as possible and I'm setting tasks/chores for my little. With a task tracker I could see what she has completed or not and reward or discipline accordingly. I have seen where other CG,s have used this for ldr and it seems to work. At least for some.

[PrincessM_13]

It’s totally an option! My relationship now is DDLG and LDR. We are doing pretty well. We talk everyday several times a day and video chat too. We also send gifts to each other and I plan on seeing my daddy again in August and he plans on coming down to see me sometime after June. 

[Baby Manda]

I found that I communicate more openly in an LDR than IRL situation, especially in the beginning.  Being little with someone I might randomly bump into at the grocery store feels strange to me, so I hold back more early on and wait til I can trust that my little is really safe. When I'm online, it's much easier to be authentic about who I am and let my little self shine through. 

Here's a few apps I use for tasks most are free or low cost. 

I like To-Do List the most for daily, weekly tasks, and long term assignments. 

The Obedience App is nice, too, and has the option of changing the app name to Habits for a SFW name. It allows for punishments, rewards, habits, routines everything. You can do this one with a partner long distance. It is much more intense than To-Do List!

The Embrace Journaling app I haven't tried yet, but it's part of the Obedience App. I've heard great things, but with no CG (and not looking), it was a little pointless to switch to an online journal now. I prefer my notebook with stickers for now. 

The MyFitnessPal tracks food, water, exercise and tells how much protein, carbs, fats, sugar, and sodium. You can meal plan, scan food labels, track steps, and chart weight if that's an issue. 

I've used lots of other tracking apps, but sometimes paper or dry erase charts work better for me, then I take a picture and send it to my CG. Or if one of my rules is to eat healthy meals, I just take a picture of my plate before I eat, send the pic, then send another with the empty plate or what's left. (An accommodation is to send a message about what I ate, if taking a picture is inappropriate at work or if time doesn't allow because of a real life problem). CG and littles are people with grown-up lives too, so it's important to build in realistic expectations when starting an online CG/L relationship and be sure to keep trust and communication open and honest. I don't share everything about my life, even after knowing friends for over a year. It's just hard to trust people🤷‍♀️

Just a note to share in the beginning,  and maybe I'm off on this, but I always hate when it's only about rules, routines and consequences without any regular fun or conversations with online relationships.  Yes as a little I love the rules, routine and consequences part, but I also wanna get to know my CG. Who they are and what makes them laugh. It's gotta be more than just me doing every thing correctly and my CG knowing everything about me. Maybe play Would You Rather, or Name That Movie from a Random Quote. Pictionary is fun online, too.  Maybe write a story together and illustrate different pages. Connection is key for me and difficult to find. 

[redruffle41]

I think if you're looking online a LDR is going to be inevitable. I love chatting and sending texts. It makes my day so fun and exciting. Making friends and having someone to laugh with share music, send drawings, send pictures, share intellect....it's all really really fun. It's a great way to have a platonic relationship and I will tell u from experience texting with a daddy who knows who he is and what he wants can be very thrilling if the relationship is ready to move towards the intimate end of things. But it's important to move slowly!!!! No rush. Everyone has to put their own well-being first and make sure the little knows that she gets to choose. Always. It's her choice and she has to be aware of that and mindful.

[LittleBiscut]

Just want to say, from my own experiences LDR is a complicated thing. Do some lookup about things you can do to support your in your case (little) showing you care and are thinking of them and taking time and effort to make it work shows through words and actions. I personally haven’t had great LDR experiences in the past. But if people don’t rush take your time, you can weed out the worms pretty good hehehe. 
Anyway hope this helps from a little perspective. 
Hope you have good LDR experiences🥹🥹