Feeling sad

[princessmeggs]

I'm always being told I'm not trying, no matter what I do, I'm not sure what to do. I wish if people didn't want to talk to me they just wouldn't not tell me I'm acting disinterested and need to try harder especially when I then tell them all my disabilities and that I'm trying my hardest. Honestly nothing I love more then someone who says they are a dd mansplaining to me that my best isn't good enough. Okay rant over.

[LittleBiscut]

Hey, @princessmeggs, I am sorry your being told things like that. And I am mostly sure anyone who says that is dumb! Just because you have trouble communicating doesn’t mean you’re not putting in your best effort for others. Please don’t worry about what other people say and do your best! Everything is ok? If you wanna send me a follow I would love to talk to you about it ❤️❤️🥹 ( little in Australia ) 

[princessmeggs]

1 hour ago, LittleBiscut said:

Hey, @princessmeggs, I am sorry your being told things like that. And I am mostly sure anyone who says that is dumb! Just because you have trouble communicating doesn’t mean you’re not putting in your best effort for others. Please don’t worry about what other people say and do your best! Everything is ok? If you wanna send me a follow I would love to talk to you about it ❤️❤️🥹 ( little in Australia ) 

Thanks just kinda upset like don't talk to someone if your just gonna tell them they aren't good enough to talk to 🙁

[ᨧ sparkle ɞ]

Then these people are not worthy of your attention, and I believe that in the future you will be surrounded only by those people who really appreciate you  🩷 As someone who has been diagnosed with social phobia/depression, I also get this kind of commentary, and I have communication problems, so I can understand that, and I think people need to learn not only to listen, but also to hear each other 

[NR_Daddy]

I personally don't like when people become negative like that. I don't think it's nurturing or thoughtful. There are better ways to deal with situations, especially with someone who clearly struggles with disabilities.

Positive encouragement is the way to be rather than critical negativity. Look for the good in what you did and use that as a way to encourage you, while avoiding negativity. Also having realistic expectations helps. Recognising what might be limitations for you and not expecting you to go beyond what you can't do, and that can only happen with dialogue, discussion and understanding.

I do hope you cut out whoever is being like this with you. It's toxic and will only make you feel worse about yourself.

Edited March 12 by NR_Daddy

[princessmeggs]

6 minutes ago, ᨧ sparkle ɞ said:

Then these people are not worthy of your attention, and I believe that in the future you will be surrounded only by those people who really appreciate you  🩷 As someone who has been diagnosed with social phobia/depression, I also get this kind of commentary, and I have communication problems, so I can understand that, and I think people need to learn not only to listen, but also to hear each other 

Yeah I have social phobia so bad that I was recently classed as having mild agoraphobia. So it's always good got that to be added onto my other stuff 😒

[princessmeggs]

1 minute ago, NR_Daddy said:

I personally don't like when people become negative like that. I don't think it's nurturing or thoughtful. There are better ways to deal with situations, especially with someone who clearly struggles with disabilities.

Positive encouragement is the way to be rather than critical negativity. Look for the good in what you did and use that as a way to encourage you, while avoiding negativity. Also having realistic expectations helps. Recognising what might be limitations for you and not expecting you to go beyond what you can't do, and that can only happen with dialogue, discussion and understanding.

I do hope you cut out whoever is being like this with you. It's toxic and will only make you feel worse about yourself.

We had literally only been speaking for like 5 minutes and then he was saying that and when I said I didn't think I could talk to him he got snippy and then finally left me alone. I just don't see why people keep telling me I need to do more then I can.

[LittleBiscut]

Just do you? Hmm? And try to find someone who takes time to get to know you as a person 🥰❤️❤️ 

Huggs! 

[NR_Daddy]

11 minutes ago, princessmeggs said:

We had literally only been speaking for like 5 minutes and then he was saying that and when I said I didn't think I could talk to him he got snippy and then finally left me alone. I just don't see why people keep telling me I need to do more then I can.

Sounds like these people have no idea of how to be a caregiver. I'd suggest ignoring them as they're clearly selfish and inconsiderate. Consider it a bullet dodged. That's how I see it.

As for deciding on who to talk to in future, look at their community reputation, if they have little to offer the community and lurk in the shadows, it's likely they will have little to offer you.

Edited March 12 by NR_Daddy
spelling

[ᨧ sparkle ɞ]

10 minutes ago, princessmeggs said:

Yeah I have social phobia so bad that I was recently classed as having mild agoraphobia. So it's always good got that to be added onto my other stuff 😒

Ohh I understand you and I believe that we can cope with it, even if it is a difficult and slow process 

If people cannot accept our peculiarities, then there is no point in wasting time on these people and we need to move forward  

[LittleBiscut]

I agree completely, just wanted to add is try not to give up on communication even if interacting is hard and stressful, time and patience can solve most problems for you. But say away from toxic people. ❤️❤️❤️ 

[NR_Daddy]

I just wanted to add that any person who messages you should first be taking the time to get to know you as a person. Discovering your likes and dislikes, what you each do in life, and what you want and see for both of you in your lives. That is how you establish a bond with someone.

Anyone who is critical in any way is an immediate red flag and should be ignored immediately for your own safety.

Reading through the flag detection section of the forum will help you understand how to stay safe online, and that includes the safety of your mental health too.

Take a look here .... there are posts that cover immediate belittling of people, as well as other things.
https://www.ddlgforum.com/forum/115-safety-first-and-flag-detection/

Edited March 12 by NR_Daddy

[beanbean]

5 hours ago, princessmeggs said:

I'm always being told I'm not trying, no matter what I do, I'm not sure what to do. I wish if people didn't want to talk to me they just wouldn't not tell me I'm acting disinterested and need to try harder especially when I then tell them all my disabilities and that I'm trying my hardest. Honestly nothing I love more then someone who says they are a dd mansplaining to me that my best isn't good enough. Okay rant over.

That the worse how do people’ know what trying is by another person . Keep your chin up  you got this

[DaddyABQ]

7 hours ago, princessmeggs said:

I'm always being told I'm not trying, no matter what I do, I'm not sure what to do. I wish if people didn't want to talk to me they just wouldn't not tell me I'm acting disinterested and need to try harder especially when I then tell them all my disabilities and that I'm trying my hardest. Honestly nothing I love more then someone who says they are a dd mansplaining to me that my best isn't good enough. Okay rant over.

I'm going to avoid going off on a rant about toxic masculinity and the tendency some men have to blame others for their own shortcomings as human beings. Instead, I'll just promise you that the only person who can be an effective judge of your level of effort is yourself, and someone who chooses to criticize your perceived failure to meet an abstract rubric they establish isn't worth your time.

It's a sad truth that the internet provides cover for a lot of this sort of behavior, and I wish there was some kind of tag-and-release program to avoid it, but it just kind of endemic to the Internet and enabled by the cloak of relative anonymity it provides.

I'm sorry that has happened to you. It's unfair.

[MasterPhotog]

17 hours ago, princessmeggs said:

I'm always being told I'm not trying, no matter what I do, I'm not sure what to do. I wish if people didn't want to talk to me they just wouldn't not tell me I'm acting disinterested and need to try harder especially when I then tell them all my disabilities and that I'm trying my hardest. Honestly nothing I love more then someone who says they are a dd mansplaining to me that my best isn't good enough. Okay rant over.

@princessmeggs, I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds incredibly frustrating, especially when you're putting in your best effort. People should recognize and respect your challenges rather than dismiss them. You're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask for. Here are a few ideas that might help:

1. Set clear boundaries: Let people know that you're doing your best and ask for understanding, not criticism, especially when you share your challenges.
  
2. Communicate openly: Explain how their comments make you feel, so they realize the impact of their words. Sometimes people aren't aware of how hurtful their assumptions can be.

3. Find supportive spaces: Surround yourself with people who acknowledge and appreciate your effort. Continue reaching out here for support and ideas to deal with stressful situations. 

Please know that you're doing great, and you deserve support, not criticism. We're here for you. 

[princessmeggs]

44 minutes ago, MasterPhotog said:

@princessmeggs, I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds incredibly frustrating, especially when you're putting in your best effort. People should recognize and respect your challenges rather than dismiss them. You're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask for. Here are a few ideas that might help:

1. Set clear boundaries: Let people know that you're doing your best and ask for understanding, not criticism, especially when you share your challenges.
  
2. Communicate openly: Explain how their comments make you feel, so they realize the impact of their words. Sometimes people aren't aware of how hurtful their assumptions can be.

3. Find supportive spaces: Surround yourself with people who acknowledge and appreciate your effort. Continue reaching out here for support and ideas to deal with stressful situations. 

Please know that you're doing great, and you deserve support, not criticism. We're here for you. 

Thanks I think I was more upset because even after I apologised and said that it's my disabilities and I'm trying he basically told me I wasn't which I really hate I think I'm gonna stick to here rather then discord from now on 🤣🤣

[rabbitt33]

On 3/12/2025 at 2:01 AM, princessmeggs said:

I'm always being told I'm not trying, no matter what I do, I'm not sure what to do. I wish if people didn't want to talk to me they just wouldn't not tell me I'm acting disinterested and need to try harder especially when I then tell them all my disabilities and that I'm trying my hardest. Honestly nothing I love more then someone who says they are a dd mansplaining to me that my best isn't good enough. Okay rant over.

I am so so sorry to heaR this. Chin up

..keep smiling!