CB2102 Posted March 7 Report Posted March 7 Hey all! I guess I'm just asking for some advice. Or just sharing an experience I had Here's the situation, I was talking to a little I met here, we hit it off pretty well (atleast I thought so). We were in pretty constant communication for about 5 days, we had decided we'd want to talk over a call and play some games together that weekend, (i suggested a call, she suggested games while we talk). It seemed like things were going great, but then she ghosted me. I've been ghosted before, it kinda sucks I guess. I guess i thought that since we are in a more "open" environment that ghosting wouldn't happen nearly as much, and its happened a handful times in almost 3 months. I'm very much a growth oriented person, and I don't see any potential for growth when ghosting happens. If I do something wrong I want to be told what I did so I can adjust it, not just be ghosted lol. I treat other people online like actual people, and I guess I want the same treatment on my end. I guess my question would be, how do you turn a negative experience like this into a positive one? Sorry for the ramble! I figured here would be a good place to share/ask, also feel free to add any thoughts or questions you may have for me Thank you for reading!
Little Flowerkiss Posted March 7 Report Posted March 7 I'm a little. I just think sometimes people ghost because they are afraid to be transparent about something or they are just not as invested as they led you to believe. Ghosting is cruel. I've had it happen a few months ago. I was so sad. But when I look back I am glad they are out of my life. It's shame on them. You don't need a little or anyone around who can be cruel that way. Sorry about that 😔 3
WizardofOSS Posted March 7 Report Posted March 7 Hmm...I suspect you probably just need to give her time. It seems you two had a great time in the 5 days, so let her have her space. She's an adult and has a life and responsibilities too, and something probably came up. If it's meant to be, she'll come back to you. I would send a daily message, like good morning or Good evening to let her know you didn't 'ghost' her. Trust and relationships take time, much longer than 5 days, but the uncertainty of one side guessing about ghosting can go on for weeks. Just send one daily message to let her know you haven't forgotten her and then leave her alone. How this is a positive..... Growing as a Dom also means not being clingy. Oh please don't do that! Give people their space to be individuals themselves. That's caring for them too. Being confident and self-assured that no matter what, you will be there for them gives comfort to those in your care. Don't smother them. As an example, I have a Brat that I talk to regularly and we had daily contact at regular times. However, I knew that the river was rising and there was a possibility of flooding in her area soon. Then she stopped contacting me. This went on for 22 days! Was I ghosted? I thought so, but I was patient and carried on. One day, she reached out out of the blue and we resumed where we left off. Her home was safe, but their only car's engine blew, she was having troubles on the job, kids were sick and the local area did get flooded. She was under a lot of stress and had some stuff to sort out. She was also afraid that I moved on. Nope! I reassured her and we resumed like we had before, and now our relationship has grown through that. Now she knows, she can be a "Big", Independent woman when she needs to be because I respect her as a person, not just as one in my care. When she's ready to come to me, she slips into little space easily. That's when she needs me both as a Dom and a friend. Littles need you, but you also have to respect the person they are outside the dynamic too. It earns their trust and affection that that is necessary to have a healthy relationship. Hope this helps! 1 1
Triskelion Posted March 7 Report Posted March 7 Being ghosted by a little where I had a LDR with for over a year and a half, and where I thought everything went well,the only sad thing I can tell you is that time will heal the wounds... It took me quite a while to recover from not knowing something happened to her, why it happened, or if I did something wrong or anything else. Many doubts arose through the progress, but it time I accepted that it happened and hope she is happy. Not much advice I guess, but maybe it helps to know you are not alone and more caregivers have likewise experiences. 2
CB2102 Posted March 7 Author Report Posted March 7 That's awful, I'm super sorry for you. I really appreciate you sharing with me! 1
Triskelion Posted March 7 Report Posted March 7 Quote That's awful, I'm super sorry for you. I really appreciate you sharing with me! Thanks @CB2102, as said time healed the wounds and all is ok I hope it helps you knowing you are not alone with these issues. 1
beanbean Posted March 7 Report Posted March 7 2 hours ago, Triskelion said: Being ghosted by a little where I had a LDR with for over a year and a half, and where I thought everything went well,the only sad thing I can tell you is that time will heal the wounds... It took me quite a while to recover from not knowing something happened to her, why it happened, or if I did something wrong or anything else. Many doubts arose through the progress, but it time I accepted that it happened and hope she is happy. Not much advice I guess, but maybe it helps to know you are not alone and more caregivers have likewise experiences. That’s to bad I was catfished and eventually ghosted by a a girl I thought I was I. Love with you got to be careful out there for sure
DaddyABQ Posted March 7 Report Posted March 7 5 hours ago, CB2102 said: I guess my question would be, how do you turn a negative experience like this into a positive one? I've had it happen to me more than once, and it's a bitter pill to swallow. I try to look on the bright side and enjoy the fact that I at least had a nice conversation or two, and that I can now let out a little sigh and move on. 1
CB2102 Posted March 7 Author Report Posted March 7 (edited) @WizardofOSSthis is a super well typed out post, and i for sure appreciate you for typing it out. While i dont think theres hope in this case, i do think staying positive and hopeful would be good things in future situations Thank you very much for the response! Edited March 7 by CB2102 1
beanbean Posted March 8 Report Posted March 8 35 minutes ago, DaddyABQ said: I've had it happen to me more than once, and it's a bitter pill to swallow. I try to look on the bright side and enjoy the fact that I at least had a nice conversation or two, and that I can now let out a little sigh and move on.i 35 minutes ago, DaddyABQ said: I've had it happen to me more than once, and it's a bitter pill to swallow. I try to look on the bright side and enjoy the fact that I at least had a nice conversation or two, and that I can now let out a little sigh and move on. Yeah mostly I tell the story hopefully it helps people
beanbean Posted March 8 Report Posted March 8 Just now, beanbean said: Yea as long as my story helps people be aware it’s worth it 1
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