My Daddy Gets Upset Alot

[Little Flowerkiss]

Daddy gets mad at me for things I sometimes think he shouldn't. And how can I say that i want more attention from him without him getting mad saying I'm selfish. He barely talked to me yesterday. I was so so sad. I went out with my best friend to a place where no guys would try to get with me. Daddy got mad because I didn't ask him. But I wanted to... but didn't because I felt like he didn't care about me or love me still from not talking to me all day. Now he's very angry.  Said things that he knows make me sad. I feel abandoned and not sure if it's over 😔 He put a heart on that message.why???  He will say things but very cold now. Why😔. I tried to say sorry and explain my feelings but he is stern.

[DaddysMonkey]

Run for the hills. 

[Little Flowerkiss]

This is all new to me in ways so I don't understand alot. Daddy's aren't supposed to be like this right 

[Littlejewel]

I am so sorry that you’re going through this. In any relationship you should be able to openly communicate with your partner. You should never ever wonder if they care about you, and you should be able to go out with your friends without permission and without punishment.

In any BDSM relationship limits should be discussed, and that includes limits on rules and punishments. If the silent treatment makes you feel unloved, your Daddy should discuss this with you and come up with an alternative.

 

I’m sorry to say that he doesn’t sound like a Daddy, he sounds like he needs therapy. These are examples of control and jealousy, which is never healthy. Remember that consent is key, and if he doesn’t seek your consent then you are better off without him. You deserve better. 

[NR_Daddy]

Seems like abusive, manipulative and controlling behaviour to me. Get out. Dodge that bullet.

You don't treat someone you care about like that.

Edited Thursday at 09:10 PM by NR_Daddy

[Little Flowerkiss]

Thank you all. I didn't know i was a little for so long. He showed me and now I see where I fit. I tried asking him if we can talk so i can understand more, especially if we're something more or if this is just something he does. He's done really sweet and kind things that made me feel really loved. But if I do something that upsets him he discards me. I don't try to be a brat or upset him on purpose. I've been through so many bad things in life that I felt really alone. And then finally I met him and he said I was his. He said love and everything too so I was happy. But now it's changing and he doesn't really care to hear my feelings or my worries. Sometimes I need reassurance that even if daddy is upset he loves me and won't make me feel abandonment. I definitely feel that way now and it sucks because I enjoy being little me so much. 

[Triskelion]

No, daddies shouldn't be like this.
To me, this seems to be mental extortion

How long do you know this person if I may ask? Not that this is acceptable in any case, but if you just know this person, please cut off all contact.
As @DaddysMonkeysaid, run. cut contact. This guy seems not to be good.

Is is never ok to socially trying to isolate someone or try to mentally extort them in any way.

[NR_Daddy]

13 minutes ago, Little Flowerkiss said:

Thank you all. I didn't know i was a little for so long. He showed me and now I see where I fit. I tried asking him if we can talk so i can understand more, especially if we're something more or if this is just something he does. He's done really sweet and kind things that made me feel really loved. But if I do something that upsets him he discards me. I don't try to be a brat or upset him on purpose. I've been through so many bad things in life that I felt really alone. And then finally I met him and he said I was his. He said love and everything too so I was happy. But now it's changing and he doesn't really care to hear my feelings or my worries. Sometimes I need reassurance that even if daddy is upset he loves me and won't make me feel abandonment. I definitely feel that way now and it sucks because I enjoy being little me so much. 

You can be little you as much as you want to, but that shouldn't mean you should take that kind of behaviour to be that little you. It's one thing being stern, another making someone question wether they care and saying hurtful things.

These sort of relationships should have rules and punishments (as well as every other aspect) discussed before you get into it. That way, you know what to expect from each other. If you've done something against said rules (agreed on by both parties) then the punishment should be fitting, like no tv/computer/phone and early to bed with no story, but not emotional head fucking. Then, maybe the day after, your daddy should sit you down, explain what you did wrong and why it's wrong, and in an ideal world you'd understand it and maybe say sorry and won't do it again and then get some aftercare like snuggles and reassurance. That's nurturing someone.

If I was you I'd look at the red flag detection section of the forum to assess his behaviour. It seems wrong to me, especially the hot/cold being nice then being nasty bit.

Edited Thursday at 09:35 PM by NR_Daddy

[DaddyABQ]

I don't know you or the person you are referring to as your Daddy well enough to presume anything, but it might be worth asking yourself if you feel you'd put up with this kind of behavior from someone who wasn't in a Daddy role with you? Being in a BDSM relationship doesn't mean you have to accept treatment that you didn't sign on for, and if he's not an addition to your life, then it might be time to let him go. That is, however, ultimately up to you.

[Littlejewel]

27 minutes ago, Little Flowerkiss said:

Thank you all. I didn't know i was a little for so long. He showed me and now I see where I fit. I tried asking him if we can talk so i can understand more, especially if we're something more or if this is just something he does. He's done really sweet and kind things that made me feel really loved. But if I do something that upsets him he discards me. I don't try to be a brat or upset him on purpose. I've been through so many bad things in life that I felt really alone. And then finally I met him and he said I was his. He said love and everything too so I was happy. But now it's changing and he doesn't really care to hear my feelings or my worries. Sometimes I need reassurance that even if daddy is upset he loves me and won't make me feel abandonment. I definitely feel that way now and it sucks because I enjoy being little me so much. 

This sounds like love bombing. This is extremely manipulative and can be used to separate you from your family/friends and make you rely on him. 
 

You don’t need a Daddy to be little. I understand that being alone is hard, and everyone wants to feel loved. Sometimes it’s better to learn and explore who you are before you get in a relationship. That way you can learn more about yourself, your little, and your limits which will allow you to be better prepared for your future Daddy. 
 

Luckily you made it here, where you will find tons of support and resources. 

[DaddyABQ]

3 hours ago, Littlejewel said:

This sounds like love bombing. This is extremely manipulative and can be used to separate you from your family/friends and make you rely on him. 

I usually find myself hesitant to make that statement, but if that's not exactly love bombing, it certainly seems to be one of the behaviors associated with it. and it's one of the reddest of the big red flags that you might be dealing with a narcissistic personality. The only real remedy for that is to cut off all contact and don't let them draw you back in. I'm just a weirdo on the internet and can't pretend to have the skills or qualifications to diagnose such things,

Edited Friday at 01:05 AM by DaddyABQ
big ole' missin' word

[Little Flowerkiss]

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate you all for being so nice and not judgemental of me. It's nice to have a safe space to be the little me. 💖 i really need to just enjoy learning me and enjoying my stuffies and painting. 

[DaddyABQ]

That's what community is for! I think it's safe to say that we'll collectively always be here for each other.

[beanbean]

6 hours ago, DaddysMonkey said:

Run for the hills. 

Yep pretty much get out of dodge 

[Little kaiya]

Please, please listen to folks warning you of the danger. I've been doing crisis interventions for 20+ years and what you've described is too similar to the many domestic abuse situations I've been called on-site to help people.

[TheMostExoticFlower]

He does not sound like a good and responsible Daddy at all. Don’t let anyone take you for granted. You’re a gorgeous and sincere girl. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and spoil you with kindness, attention and love. Please don’t waste your time and energy on immature solipsistic people💓

[Dangerously_Well]

Oh sweetheart, it sounds like you're going through a really tough time. It's completely understandable that you're feeling sad, confused, and abandoned. It's never easy when there's a disconnect in a relationship, especially in a D/lg dynamic where trust and communication are so important.

It sounds like there might be some misunderstandings and miscommunication happening between you and your Daddy. It's important to remember that communication is a two-way street, and it's okay to express your needs and feelings.

Here are a few things to consider:

• It's okay to need attention: Wanting more attention from your Daddy isn't selfish. It's a natural human need, especially in a relationship where you're seeking care and connection.
• Express your feelings calmly: When you try to talk to your Daddy, try to express your feelings in a calm and non-accusatory way. For example, instead of saying "You never talk to me," you could say, "I've been feeling a little lonely lately, and I would really appreciate it if we could spend some more time together."
• "I feel" statements: Use "I feel" statements to express your emotions without blaming your Daddy. For instance, "I feel sad when you don't talk to me all day" or "I feel hurt when you say things that you know make me sad."
• Listen to his perspective: It's also important to try to understand your Daddy's perspective. There might be reasons why he's been distant or why he reacted the way he did. Try to listen to him without interrupting or getting defensive.
• Find a good time to talk: Choose a time when you're both calm and relaxed to have a conversation. Avoid trying to talk about it when either of you is feeling stressed or upset.
• Consider couples therapy or relationship counseling: If you're having trouble communicating effectively on your own, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships. They can help you develop better communication skills and work through any underlying issues.

The heart emoji on his message is confusing, and it's okay to feel unsure about what that means. It might be helpful to ask him directly what he meant by it.

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and respected. If your Daddy is consistently making you feel sad and abandoned, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. However, it's worth trying to work through these issues through open and honest communication first.

Sending you gentle hugs and hoping that you and your Daddy can find a way to communicate better and resolve these issues.

[karan]

This is not how a daddy behaves, I am sorry you are going through that, it is definitely a red flag. Wanting attention from your mommy/ daddy is nothing but a really pure/ genuine feeling. You deserve better. You mentioned you are new to the space, first of all welcome to the space, I am sorry that this is the experience you are going through. I promise it is not bad, not everyone is like that.

[Liamo]

If I was in your shoes i would cut all contacts. It looks, from what you have described, that he is controlling, and acting in ways that are contrary to what you are looking for. If he rejoices in the fact you are suffering, he is toxic to you. I have one rule in my life that I live by. It took me decades to learn it, and believe me, now that I live by it my life is way better, less complicated, and way more fulfilling. Here it is: I do not tolerate toxic people in my life. It does not matter who you are. If you are toxic, you are dead to me. I will not engage, talk to, keep your number in my phone, etc. I do not tolerate toxicity of any kind. Did my circle of family and friend drastically reduced? You bet it did. I am extremely welcoming to anyone in my life, but if you show ANY sign of being manipulative, a bully, etc. I walk away for good.

Here is another rule I live by. I will excuse mistakes, especially from someone who shows they are sorry and want to work on the relationship, but I will never ever excuse or forgive or forget betrayal. If you betray me once, you will not have the opportunity to betray me twice. Once a traitor or a cheater, always a traitor. 

So protect yourself. Your Daddy should make you feel loved, cared for, and safe. 

 

Edited Friday at 03:28 PM by Liamo

[Little Flowerkiss]

Thank you all so much. I see more about how a daddy should be. I just got really attached because I just wanted to feel that care and like I belong to someone for good. I really really love my little space so much. I just wish that I had known sooner. I feel like I fell for daddy because he showed me how I really was a little and didn't know it for so long. And he did really thoughtful things that I never had. Like I've experienced nice things but I'd rather have a new doll or stuffy over a fancy dinner. I love to color and blow bubbles everywhere. I used to think I was just weird because I never felt the way people would expect me to be. So I hid my true self often. Daddy made me feel like I can be little and he'd care for me forever. But maybe he wants someone different now and won't say that. Or maybe he's a different type of daddy that i don't know about. I have anxiety really bad and I need reassurance sometimes, especially if I make a mistake. I need attention in ways that are small but not overwhelming. It's like daddy will just ignore me for many hours but the expect me to assume I'm still his little. I would send him messages and pictures that he could just ignore. I don't like those feelings I get. I can't really say my feelings to him because he doesn't really listen to understand me. He just gets angry or talks bigger than me. So I keep it in while just feeling lost. I've had a dream that I hate so much. I wanted to tell him because I feel that it's my feelings explained more. I'm little and lost in the biggest mall ever and I'm scared and crying. A person grabs my hand and says little girl who are you with. And I can't say a word but cry. Because the truth is I knew that no one was there who I belong to. And nobody was looking for me. I hate that dream so much. But I feel that way alot. 

[DaddyABQ]

11 minutes ago, Little Flowerkiss said:

I'm little and lost in the biggest mall ever and I'm scared and crying. A person grabs my hand and says little girl who are you with. And I can't say a word but cry. Because the truth is I knew that no one was there who I belong to. And nobody was looking for me. I hate that dream so much. But I feel that way alot. 

Sometimes, scary dreams are our brain's way of making sense of difficult things, and providing little puzzles for us to figure out. Let's take, for instance, the idea that you're in a mall, which is a huge building full of lots of different options for things to do. That's a pretty potent metaphor for life and exploring a new lifestyle. A stranger grabbing your hand and (it sounds like) talking to you in a frightening manner, combined with your feelings about nobody really being there for you ... well, that might have been your mind processing your feelings about the man who would laugh when you said you deserved to be abandoned.

Granted, all of these symbols and things usually have common meanings and associations, but that's because we all live in the same world. Think about what those symbols mean to you, and you may arrive at a deeper or even completely different message your mind is communicating to you.

Either way, you should know that you do deserve someone in your life to be there for you, and although a relationship is never easy, someone who treats you like a prop instead of a person is obviously missing the plot, and should be written out of your story.

Edited Friday at 06:16 PM by DaddyABQ
I'm a slave to grammar

[Triskelion]

I am sorry to read that you are going through this. To me, it sounds like you are hurt and abandoned, but those feelings are valid, in my opinion.
A good Daddy should make you feel safe, cared for, and supported. He should not leave you feeling scared and unsure about where you stand.

Wanting attention, reassurance, and care is not selfish, I would say it is natural, especially in a CG/l dynamic.
It is okay to need those things, and as I see it myself, a healthy dynamic is built on communication, understanding, and mutual respect.

The way he seems to be acting, being cold, ignoring you, and getting angry when you express your feelings, that is not what a caring and nurturing caregiver should do. Heck, not even a vanilla partner should do such, it is not healthy. Your Daddy should want to listen to your feelings and find ways to comfort, help, and guide you.

That dream you described, I had a likewise dream as a kid, and it hits close to home reading it. I'm sorry you're feeling this way in general life as compared to your dream.
You deserve to have someone who reassures you, especially when you are feeling vulnerable.

Please realize that your value doesn’t depend on whether this person is in your life. You seem to be a wonderful person who deserves love, care, and attention.

Take some time for yourself, sort out your feelings. Embrace your little space, color, play with your stuffies, and focus on the things that bring you joy.
Lean on this community for support, and know that you're not alone and there are people here with advice or a friendly ear that want to listen, like many of the contributors posting above prove

I wish you all the best and hope you can either sort this out or will find happiness soon with someone else. 

[Little Flowerkiss]

How do you end things with Daddy if he's not really caring much anymore. I feel like I should just not say anything anymore and he will probably just forget me all together. I feel stupid saying anything because cleahe doesn't care about me anymore. I hate this feeling so much 🥺😢😭 I really loved him when he was so loving to me before so I have the worst anxiety 😞 

[CB2102]

Im so sorry this is happening to you.  This may be blunt (because im a pretty straight forward person), but it sounds like emotional manipulation to me.  If i was in that situation i would take a step back and examine things.  If you do end up breaking things off, just say what you need to say and be done with it, it sounds harsh but just ignoring him could prove to be harmful to yourself in the long run, I sincerely wish you the best of luck, and stay safe

p.s. Im no professional, so take what i said with a grain of salt, and always do what you feel most comfortable doing. :^)

Edited yesterday at 12:09 AM by CB2102

[Liamo]

If he does not care for you, take a deep breath, and let it go. Focus on yourself. have a day at the spa, or get your colors out and just enjoy doing some little art project. Seriously. No daddy would make you feel like that. No boyfriend or girlfriend worth having would make you feel like that. I would just send one last text if you really feel that you need it for closure. Something along the lines of: "I know my worth. I am not a doormat. I wish you the best but I will never let you disrespect me ever again. Good bye."

You will find someone that will know how to treat you the way you want to be treated. In the meantime, you have plenty of littles and daddies alike here that will talk to you and support you if you need to.

Good luck.