[AMA] I'm a dominant Little. [Dom Little Hangout!!]

[WizardofOSS]

3 hours ago, CherryBlossomTea said:

@WizardofOSS You're welcome. Yes, it's a sample. I have the book and I still find it very helpful to return to for insight and ideas. 

I will say I am a little offended that it almost seems like you are implying that you can only think of negative examples of Dominant littles. Being Dominant in a dynamic should be a positive, as it should be something discussed and agreed upon. From the outside looking at a DDlg relationship, one could say that the DD is controlling, infantilizing, etc.. but to those within the relationship, it fulfills mutual needs. 

Being Dominant doesn't mean actually being domineering.. just as vanilla people mistake D/s or dynamics as abusive.. it all hinges on informed consent and the ability to opt out at any time. 

I am sorry if you feel offended. Honestly, It's the first thing I thought of when I saw the term "Dominant Little", as I'm sure others have the same images. We're all adults and we know the view people usually have of the screaming kid at walmart or the Brats that just won't be satisfied. Many, as parents, utilize discipline to curb these uncontrolled tendencies and it's culturally considered a negative to dominate from a little position. Just being honest.

The author of this post said ask anything, so I put myself on a limb to see if there were truly "good" examples that I could use 1) to educate and enlighten myself and 2) to combat this negative stereotype. You've given me something to look at and consider. Thank you.

In this dynamic also, we have to remember that it doesn't necessarily follow life examples. It fills needs to role-play at various roles and dynamics with consenting adults, to fulfll various needs. I know this. The trouble is when this comes across in conversation with those who don't. I was simply asking for positive examples is all. No offense intended. I'm always on the path to learning more.

Thanks for your insights!

Edited February 28 by WizardofOSS

[CherryBlossomTea]

2 hours ago, WizardofOSS said:

I am sorry if you feel offended. Honestly, It's the first thing I thought of when I saw the term "Dominant Little", as I'm sure others have the same images. We're all adults and we know the view people usually have of the screaming kid at walmart or the Brats that just won't be satisfied. Many, as parents, utilize discipline to curb these uncontrolled tendencies and it's culturally considered a negative to dominate from a little position. Just being honest.

The author of this post said ask anything, so I put myself on a limb to see if there were truly "good" examples that I could use 1) to educate and enlighten myself and 2) to combat this negative stereotype. You've given me something to look at and consider. Thank you.

In this dynamic also, we have to remember that it doesn't necessarily follow life examples. It fills needs to role-play at various roles and dynamics with consenting adults, to fulfll various needs. I know this. The trouble is when this comes across in conversation with those who don't. I was simply asking for positive examples is all. No offense intended. I'm always on the path to learning more.

Thanks for your insights!

No worries, I see you are here trying to understand. I suppose I don't understand the comparison of an actual child/parent relationship and a negotiated consensual dynamic between two adults. That same situation of someone bratting could be seen differently if both people were consenting adults. From outside of the relationship it is difficult to know what is positive or "good" because it really depends on what the people involved get out of the dynamic. From the outside it may not look positive.  

I think I understand what you're asking for now.. some more optically "positive" examples of what a Dominant Little/Submissive CareGiver dynamic could look like are:

A little princess and their doting CG

A little who is catered to and smothered with affection by their CG

A little prince/princess and their servant 

A little who is good at making "puppy eyes" and getting what they want

A brat who is adored and spoiled by their CG

Some other examples of a Dominant Little in different dynamics: 

A little and their pet 

A little and their doll

A big sister who is bossy and in charge of their little sister 

A middle who is a babysitter 

 

Edited February 28 by CherryBlossomTea

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

54 minutes ago, WizardofOSS said:

The author of this post said ask anything, so I put myself on a limb....

Just wanted to clarify that I'm not offended by your question. I encourage you to keep empowering yourself with knowledge through discussion. Thank you for reaching out.

[beanbean]

10 hours ago, .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ said:

That is absolutely a fair and valid question.

I've personally, never thrown a tantrum...at least not in public, lol.

I avoid tantrums like the plague because my bio mother is a Karen and would pull this sorta shit for next to no reason. I've gone no contact with her and this is partly why. This type of behavior gave me social anxiety while I was with her. I don't have that as badly now.

A positive perk is that I get a lot of say in life decisions, both big and small. My Wife enjoys the equal input to the things we do or occasional break from making all the decisions by herself. We work more as a team, situationally lopsided, but still a team.

In public?

When we're out and about, we discuss where to eat, but I typically get the final say after she's rattled off a bunch of suggestions.

She'll ask me if spending x amount of money on frivolous things is okay, particularly if we're leaning towards being broke.

I also get first dibs on the music played in our car, but I'm generous and will play her music too.

I helped decide what activities we did back when we went on vacation a few years ago. She'd been to NC before, but never to the sound, so I added that to my list.

Stuff like this. ♡

 

 

Is this part of being a dominant little or just the normal give and take . For example as a dom I set rules but there are things I want to control and I things I don’t. So letting them make choices and not controlling everything. But I also am not here to define what you are just curious 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@beanbean

I think that it varies from person to person, but I don't typically set rules. At least not in my current relationship. I don't set rules because I'm a Little, not a Daddy (a particular mindset/reason would be needed for me). I don't have the patience to set and maintain rules.

But, if I wanted to, I most certainly could. It would depend on the situation or if my partner wanted rules.

Like that time my Wife had a failed project that left our kitchen pipes messed up. Sat her happy artsy butt down and told her to not do that particular art project that way again, and lovingly gave alternative ideas in the process, lol.

But I also don't think it's a normal give-take for me either. I believe that setting rules do not define dominance. It certainly can for some folks (and in situations outside of DDLG/BDSM), just not for me. I have way more say, with the final decision of most (if not all) situations. And the ones I don't have control of, is because I either can't be bothered, it was agreed upon earlier (and I get something out of it), or it isn't necessary in the current situation.

Edited February 28 by .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

[CherryBlossomTea]

Also, I think it may be helpful to look at examples of service submission such as service Topping. A Dominant may like to "bottom" in a certain situation but that doesn't make them less of a Dominant.. nor does it make the submissive providing the service less of a submissive. Having a submissive CG handle certain situations or make decisions can be a great service to a Dominant Little who wants to be more carefree. 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

You explained what I was trying to explain, but way better. I forgot the terms and just rolled around in words, lol.

[LittleBiscut]

Hey, Being a Dom little myself I just wanted to add here that it’s not always a Daddy acting example (like a slave) getting things for little or doing what ever the little wants. Also I am sooooo far from Braty that it’s on the moon! I am not a brat and don’t behave like a brat. ( but you can if you want to)

 I am a Princess 👑. Sure it can be but personally I am a possessive, clingy I like to be all over Daddy and have things like I want example (favourite cup) or things organised. A little control what happens in play time. 
I like a Daddy Dom as well but I can be little Dom too it changes it up form time to time.( I can be on top for example.) 

Hope that helps with perspective. Huggies 🤗🤗🤗🤗🥹🥹🥹

[beanbean]

2 hours ago, .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ said:

@beanbean

I think that it varies from person to person, but I don't typically set rules. At least not in my current relationship. I don't set rules because I'm a Little, not a Daddy (a particular mindset/reason would be needed for me). I don't have the patience to set and maintain rules.

But, if I wanted to, I most certainly could. It would depend on the situation or if my partner wanted rules.

Like that time my Wife had a failed project that left our kitchen pipes messed up. Sat her happy artsy butt down and told her to not do that particular art project that way again, and lovingly gave alternative ideas in the process, lol.

But I also don't think it's a normal give-take for me either. I believe that setting rules do not define dominance. It certainly can for some folks (and in situations outside of DDLG/BDSM), just not for me. I have way more say, with the final decision of most (if not all) situations. And the ones I don't have control of, is because I either can't be bothered, it was agreed upon earlier (and I get something out of it), or it isn't necessary in the current situation.

I mean that makes sense i am just genuinely curious about this as it does interest me. But at the end of the day if it works for you that’s what matters 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@beanbean

Totally fine. Feel free to ask other questions, of course~

@LittleBiscut

Aww, but being bratty can be fun, lol