[AMA] I'm a dominant Little. [Dom Little Hangout!!]

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

Within DDLG, the dominant partner is typically recognized as a Daddy/Mommy/Caregiver or occasionally a Switch. I don't identify as a Big dominant or Switch dominant, but I am a Little and certainly not submissive in the traditional sense. I thought this could be fun to share my pov, as well as just a chance at opening up a discussion on the topic.  So, as the title says, you can ask me anything. But please be appropriate, use trigger warnings if your questions are spicy, and be polite, is all I ask in return.

It doesn't matter what side of the isle you're on. Maybe you're a new Daddy who's just super confused by the concept as a whole, or a Little who's a bit intrigued by the idea of power play.  Well, here's your chance to ask me anything! Oh, and just a friendly reminder, that I can only speak of my own experiences and do not represent every dominant Little within our community.

Other dominant Littles are free to share their pov towards any questions asked, should they wish, but it's also not necessary.

♥

This thread is now doubling as a chat space for Dom Littles. A pillow fort has been constructed for our amusement~

Spoiler

 

Edited March 1 by .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

[CherryBlossomTea]

I don't have a question, I am just happy to see more representation! I oftentimes confuse people when I say I'm a Dominant middle/little, but it makes sense to me. In a way.. little is who I am.. and Dominant is what I do (in relationships). 💖👑 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@CherryBlossomTea

So nice to not be the only one here! Us dom Littles need to stick together and build a pillow fort, lol

[CherryBlossomTea]

@.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ Yes!! A pillow castle with mini fridge and movie theater! 🤭

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@CherryBlossomTea And a pool table and karaoke machine!! I'll bring all my ponycorns to guard the doorways! Peanut makes for a rather natural hall monitor, so he can teach the others, lol

[LittleBiscut]

Hey i am a Dom little tooo 🥹🥹😁😁🤫

Edited February 27 by LittleBiscut

[wackadoodle]

Love to see the dom littles gathering!😍 Not a dom little myself, a switch at most, but I definitely do think that there's an assumption that all littles are submissive😭 

I think dom littles are the coolest and so fun and interesting! (Probably because I find anything unique or different cool and interesting, but a compliment is a compliment!) And I'd love to learn more about you guys so hopefully this topic gets more love and recognition^^❤️

Oooo and maybe if there's enough interest or dom littles gathered then there could be a club!

[beanbean]

On 2/23/2025 at 3:14 PM, .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ said:

@CherryBlossomTea

So nice to not be the only one here! Us dom Littles need to stick together and build a pillow fort, lol

Me too the more the merrier of whatever there is so yay 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@LittleBiscut

Hi! Nice to meet you! 😊

@wackadoodle

Avengers, ASSEMBLE!!

oh.... wait, lol 

Well, as far as the learning part goes, feel free to ask me questions. Idk if anybody else wants to chime in, but I won't mind if they do.

A dom Little club could be fun! If there's enough interest here, I'll post the suggestion over in clubs.

@beanbean

Hi hi 👋

Edited February 27 by .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

[WizardofOSS]

I have a question for you...

For the benefit of those unable/unwilling to ask, could you provide real world "positive" examples of a Dominant Little or a Submissive Daddy? I keep thinking of the Tantrum screaming kid in Walmart that gets everything they want, but that can't be it, is it?

What does that look like in public?

[LittleBiscut]

Hey, or even a Dom little chat thread were Dom littles can chat hmmm?!! 🥹 🧐

[beanbean]

27 minutes ago, WizardofOSS said:

I have a question for you...

For the benefit of those unable/unwilling to ask, could you provide real world "positive" examples of a Dominant Little or a Submissive Daddy? I keep thinking of the Tantrum screaming kid in Walmart that gets everything they want, but that can't be it, is it?

What does that look like in public?

Yes what does it mean for you I have heard people talk about being a dom little but never really see one actually talking about what it means for them

[WizardofOSS]

27 minutes ago, beanbean said:

Yes what does it mean for you I have heard people talk about being a dom little but never really see one actually talking about what it means for them

OMG @beanbean !!!  Now I'm getting images from the OG Willy Wonka Movie when Veruka Salt threw a tantrum!!  😆

https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=willy+wonka+I+want+a+bean+feast&vm=r&type=E211US1194G0#id=2&vid=9365ab390edcec1d7a3a0840a40f1ee4&action=click

I hope that's not it either! Positive examples please????

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

1 hour ago, WizardofOSS said:

I have a question for you...

For the benefit of those unable/unwilling to ask, could you provide real world "positive" examples of a Dominant Little or a Submissive Daddy? I keep thinking of the Tantrum screaming kid in Walmart that gets everything they want, but that can't be it, is it?

What does that look like in public?

That is absolutely a fair and valid question.

I've personally, never thrown a tantrum...at least not in public, lol.

I avoid tantrums like the plague because my bio mother is a Karen and would pull this sorta shit for next to no reason. I've gone no contact with her and this is partly why. This type of behavior gave me social anxiety while I was with her. I don't have that as badly now.

A positive perk is that I get a lot of say in life decisions, both big and small. My Wife enjoys the equal input to the things we do or occasional break from making all the decisions by herself. We work more as a team, situationally lopsided, but still a team.

In public?

When we're out and about, we discuss where to eat, but I typically get the final say after she's rattled off a bunch of suggestions.

She'll ask me if spending x amount of money on frivolous things is okay, particularly if we're leaning towards being broke.

I also get first dibs on the music played in our car, but I'm generous and will play her music too.

I helped decide what activities we did back when we went on vacation a few years ago. She'd been to NC before, but never to the sound, so I added that to my list.

Stuff like this. ♡

 

 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

1 hour ago, LittleBiscut said:

Hey, or even a Dom little chat thread were Dom littles can chat hmmm?!! 🥹 🧐

We can certainly do that here!

[WizardofOSS]

9 minutes ago, .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ said:

That is absolutely a fair and valid question.

I've personally, never thrown a tantrum...at least not in public, lol.

I avoid tantrums like the plague because my bio mother is a Karen and would pull this sorta shit for next to no reason. I've gone no contact with her and this is partly why. This type of behavior gave me social anxiety while I was with her. I don't have that as badly now.

A positive perk is that I get a lot of say in life decisions, both big and small. My Wife enjoys the equal input to the things we do or occasional break from making all the decisions by herself. We work more as a team, situationally lopsided, but still a team.

In public?

When we're out and about, we discuss where to eat, but I typically get the final say after she's rattled off a bunch of suggestions.

She'll ask me if spending x amount of money on frivolous things is okay, particularly if we're leaning towards being broke.

I also get first dibs on the music played in our car, but I'm generous and will play her music too.

I helped decide what activities we did back when we went on vacation a few years ago. She'd been to NC before, but never to the sound, so I added that to my list.

Stuff like this. ♡

 

 

Ok, I can see that but is that really being dominant or just considerate for the other's needs & Desires? I am a little questionable, sorry. Being considerate is something as a "Soft Dom" I do all the time, but the proof is when we both become indecisive (Classic "What do you want to eat" discussion) and I make the decision by default. The mutually recognized dominant in the relationship. Other signs are that she doesn't always get to do what she wants, sometimes even crying about it. If I don't want it to happen, it doesn't happen and she reluctantly submits to that. Is it the same way with you?

I have been scouring the internet for 2 hours and I'm having trouble finding positive examples people can relate to without defaulting to the two examples of "Negative" behavior I mentioned.

Do you know of any movies, videos or clips which someone could point to as positive examples?

Thank you very much!!

[WizardofOSS]

Oh!!  I just found a video describing daddies...

and #6 on her list is the "Princess' daddy" (Time: 12:28) in which she explains the partner (you) could take on the role of Dominant as your wife provides everything a traditional Daddy does but from a submissive-caretaker role. In a round about way, this may help.

What do you think?

Edited February 27 by WizardofOSS

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@WizardofOSS

 

It's okay to be a little questionable, as that's exactly what I made this thread for- discussion! 

Being considerate goes hand-in-hand with being dom, imho. Anybody can do it, but I feel that a good dom goes out of their way to do this. 

"Other signs are that she doesn't always get to do what she wants, sometimes even crying about it." 

This startles me more than a bit. I would absolutely never go out of my way to make my partner cry, just so I had my way. 

"If I don't want it to happen, it doesn't happen and she reluctantly submits to that." 

I'm not entirely sure we're going to agree on what dominance in a relationship is, if this is your pov. It gives me major ick just thinking about hurting another human like this. This sounds more like a humiliation kink to me, more than dominant traits. And I'm not into humiliation, but to each their own, of course. 

Again, despite the disagreement, no hate on my end. This is just a happy discussion~ 

As for that video, I don't think it fully applies to me. I don't have my Wife wrapped around my finger, I expect feedback on the situation. But she does love to spoil me.

[CherryBlossomTea]

Hello! I thought I'd recommend this book and share a great example of a Dominant Little/Submissive Daddy dynamic: 

I thought of you when I read this quote from "The Big Book for Littles: Tips & Tricks for Age Players & Their Partners" by Penny Barber, Mako Allen -

"The first time I went to our local Littles Munch at Wicked Grounds, a San Francisco-based kinky coffee shop that boasts a special Littles menu, I had the good fortune to see a Little top in action. I don’t know that she would have called herself that, but she totally was! The whole munch I don’t think she moved more than to reach for a crayon, yet her Daddy (slave) brought her hot chocolate, cupcakes, and other treats. He fetched coloring books, tied her shoes, and cleared away dishes. He didn’t do a single one of these things on his own, either. Instead, he waited for his princess to issue a command. I’d never seen such a devoted sub! Turning Mommy or Daddy into a doll is a great way to kick off an impromptu tea party. Trust me: they’re only pretending that they hate that sparkly tiara and pink feather boa. If the Little has earned their knot-tying badge, maybe Mommy or Daddy can even be tied to the chair! After all, parents can be kinda sneaky and don’t always stay where you put them."

Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/hu8qNWe

[CherryBlossomTea]

As with any healthy dynamic, everything is negotiated.. including whether or not bratting is a thing or what the protocol is. Everyone's preferences should be taken into consideration so it is satisfactory for everyone involved. 

Interestingly, caring for someone can be seen as an act of service.. or it can be a way to exert dominance... it all depends on the understanding between the people involved. 

[WizardofOSS]

@.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ Ok, my examples were just summations of the results, but done out of her best interest and there was a lot that is actually within those results. Later when we discuss it, she realizes I was right. Sometimes, doing the right thing can hurt. No humiliation kink here, sorry.

On the topic, I was hoping the video would have helped, because otherwise, I am having difficulty understanding a positive example of an alpha little besides these common negative examples.

@CherryBlossomTea Wow!!  That was what I was looking for!  Thank you, thank you!!!   I'll start reading that!

Edited February 27 by WizardofOSS

[WizardofOSS]

@CherryBlossomTea That was a good read, but it was a sample. Thanks though, it was enough and I ordered the book from amazon - $20. I don't do kindle. I think it'll be a good read for Daddy Doms anyway as it actually has a lot of good suggestions on games and activities from the little perspective. It arrives on Saturday.   

Does anyone else have any ideas, thoughts or examples of a "positive" Dominant Little?

Thanks a bunch!!

Edited February 27 by WizardofOSS

[CherryBlossomTea]

@WizardofOSS You're welcome. Yes, it's a sample. I have the book and I still find it very helpful to return to for insight and ideas. 

I will say I am a little offended that it almost seems like you are implying that you can only think of negative examples of Dominant littles. Being Dominant in a dynamic should be a positive, as it should be something discussed and agreed upon. From the outside looking at a DDlg relationship, one could say that the DD is controlling, infantilizing, etc.. but to those within the relationship, it fulfills mutual needs. 

Being Dominant doesn't mean actually being domineering.. just as vanilla people mistake D/s or dynamics as abusive.. it all hinges on informed consent and the ability to opt out at any time. 

[CherryBlossomTea]

6 hours ago, beanbean said:

Yes what does it mean for you I have heard people talk about being a dom little but never really see one actually talking about what it means for them

I can of course only speak from my experience but I am a middle, I've always been the Dominant partner in my dynamics and I am relatively independent. Being a middle/little is a part of my personality so I generally prefer PG rated movies, animation, I collect stuffies, cute things make me happy, and I also involuntarily regress in stressful situations. These are things that are a part of me in or out of littlespace. As a Dominant and being parentified as a child, I tend to take the lead and have a hard time not being "responsible", I also enjoy being in control. So in the context of a Dominant Little/Submissive CareGiver dynamic, I consider CareGiving to be a service. I am treated like my little self, encouraged/accepted, and cared for in a way that I don't often experience. I still make the rules, including those for myself.. but they are things I need help with like accountability or reminders. In my past dynamic, I was training my submissive to be my CareGiver and I made them a care guide with things about my little needs and preferences such as favourite foods they could make for me, etc. We would have tea parties and they would serve me.. they would tie my shoes, rock me in their arms when I was needing comfort, be the designated driver, talk to adults(waiters and strangers) for me.. all of these things I considered a service. Everything was negotiated and agreed upon with care to make sure our needs were being fulfilled. 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@WizardofOSS 

Thanks for the clarification to what you meant. That makes a bit more sense to me now.

As for the positivity you're looking for, I think you might be looking at this a little closed-minded. But considering dom Littles aren't really talked about, I can understand why it wouldn't make sense for you.

Some people just enjoy it. It doesn't really need to make sense to anyone outside of the relationship.

Let me explain it like this as I feel my wording comes off as rude;

I don't understand, like,  or participate in humiliation kinks. But that doesn't mean someone else can't find the positives in it.

Wait, I had a thought....

I think, if anything, the biggest positive is that I feel so much safer with my partner, when I have control. And feeling safe is a necessary in any relationship.

Idk if this is the case for other dom Littles, but I imagine it is for those with trauma.

@CherryBlossomTea

I appreciate you're pov! And thanks for sharing that book with us! And also mentioning healthy dynamics.