Feeling Hurt and Lost… Need Advice 💔

[BunniGirlRT]

I’m struggling a lot right now and could really use some outside perspective. My Daddy and I had a really difficult interaction last night, and I’m feeling extremely hurt by how things unfolded.

Essentially, he initiated an intimate time, and I did everything he asked—following instructions, sending pictures and videos, and just being fully present in the moment. Then, out of nowhere, he abruptly stopped and left without any real explanation. It made me feel like I had done something wrong or that I wasn’t good enough in some way. I was left feeling cold, distant, and honestly, heartbroken. I ended up crying myself to sleep, overanalyzing everything, trying to figure out what I did to make him shut down like that and to make him so unhappy.

When I brought it up to him this morning, he told me that my responses last night during our special time gave him the impression that I wasn’t enjoying myself, so he decided to stop. But he never asked me if I was okay in the moment—he just assumed, shut things down, and left me feeling abandoned. I explained to him that I was enjoying myself and that I only asked for clarification on something he wanted me to do since we are long distance I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything correctly. But instead of seeing my side, he turned it around on me, saying that because I’m a pleaser, he assumed I wasn’t into it and was just pushing through things for his sake.

As we talked more, I told him that this situation really hurt me and that I needed some time to process everything—to think about whether I can handle moments like this in the future because I don’t want to keep spiraling into self-doubt every time something like this happens. Somehow, that turned into him thinking I was saying I wanted to end things, which wasn’t what I meant at all and I kept reassuring him of that. I love my daddy and don't want to ever be without him. I just needed to figure out how to move forward in a way that wouldn’t leave me feeling this awful again in the future.

But instead of giving me that space, he pulled away completely and started calling me a manipulator—saying that bringing up other concerns (like the fact that we barely spend time together outside of these moments) was me stacking issues against him unfairly. I wasn’t trying to attack him or manipulate him—I was just realizing in my hurt that maybe there are deeper issues that need addressing. But he took everything I said as if I was out to get him, and now I feel like I’m just too much and that my feelings aren’t valid or maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. He's always told me to express myself and tell him when I have big emotions so I was trying to do that safely...and now I don't know anymore :(

I don’t know how to process this. I feel so let down, scared, and alone. I trusted him so much, and now I feel like he’s just shutting me out rather than working through things with me. Am I wrong for feeling this way? How do I even move forward from this?

[Dangerously_Well]

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're feeling incredibly hurt, confused, and invalidated, and that's completely understandable. What happened is definitely not okay, and your feelings are absolutely valid. You are not wrong for feeling this way.

It's so frustrating and painful when you're vulnerable and intimate with someone, only for them to abruptly pull away without explanation. It's natural to question yourself and wonder what you did wrong. It's also hurtful when your genuine attempts to communicate your feelings and needs are misinterpreted and turned against you. It sounds like you were trying to have an open and honest conversation, and it's disappointing and hurtful when that's met with defensiveness and accusations of manipulation. Bringing up other concerns when you're feeling hurt is not "stacking issues"—it's often part of processing the current situation and recognizing patterns.

It's especially difficult when someone you trust and love reacts in a way that makes you feel unsafe and unheard. It takes courage to express your emotions, and it's essential in any relationship, especially a D/lg one, to be able to communicate openly and honestly without fear of judgment or rejection. It sounds like you were trying to do just that, and it's so upsetting that it backfired.

You deserve to be with someone who listens to you, respects your feelings, and works through challenges with you, not against you. It's okay to need space to process things, and it's okay to have concerns about the dynamic. It's not okay for your Daddy to shut you down, make assumptions about your feelings, or accuse you of manipulation when you're trying to communicate.

Moving forward, it's important to remember that you are worthy of love, respect, and open communication. It might be helpful to have another conversation with your Daddy, but only when you both are calm and have had time to reflect. If he's unwilling to acknowledge your feelings and work on the communication issues, it might be time to consider whether this relationship is truly meeting your needs. You deserve to feel safe, loved, and heard. You are not "too much," and your feelings matter. Sending you gentle hugs and strength. You're not alone.

[BunniGirlRT]

42 minutes ago, Dangerously_Well said:

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're feeling incredibly hurt, confused, and invalidated, and that's completely understandable. What happened is definitely not okay, and your feelings are absolutely valid. You are not wrong for feeling this way.

It's so frustrating and painful when you're vulnerable and intimate with someone, only for them to abruptly pull away without explanation. It's natural to question yourself and wonder what you did wrong. It's also hurtful when your genuine attempts to communicate your feelings and needs are misinterpreted and turned against you. It sounds like you were trying to have an open and honest conversation, and it's disappointing and hurtful when that's met with defensiveness and accusations of manipulation. Bringing up other concerns when you're feeling hurt is not "stacking issues"—it's often part of processing the current situation and recognizing patterns.

It's especially difficult when someone you trust and love reacts in a way that makes you feel unsafe and unheard. It takes courage to express your emotions, and it's essential in any relationship, especially a D/lg one, to be able to communicate openly and honestly without fear of judgment or rejection. It sounds like you were trying to do just that, and it's so upsetting that it backfired.

You deserve to be with someone who listens to you, respects your feelings, and works through challenges with you, not against you. It's okay to need space to process things, and it's okay to have concerns about the dynamic. It's not okay for your Daddy to shut you down, make assumptions about your feelings, or accuse you of manipulation when you're trying to communicate.

Moving forward, it's important to remember that you are worthy of love, respect, and open communication. It might be helpful to have another conversation with your Daddy, but only when you both are calm and have had time to reflect. If he's unwilling to acknowledge your feelings and work on the communication issues, it might be time to consider whether this relationship is truly meeting your needs. You deserve to feel safe, loved, and heard. You are not "too much," and your feelings matter. Sending you gentle hugs and strength. You're not alone.

Thank you so much for your kind words… they really meant a lot and made me feel less alone. I've done nothing but cry for the past 12hrs and not once has he tried to comfort me or make me feel better. After thinking a lot, I decided to break things off with Daddy… it was really hard and hurt a lot, but he wouldn’t even say sorry for anything, and I just can't accept that or move forward knowing Im hurt this much and he isnt caring about that. I know I deserve better, even if my little heart feels really heavy right now and broken. Your words gave me a lot of strength, and I appreciate it so much… thank you again, really. 💕

Edited February 16 by BunniGirlRT

[Dangerously_Well]

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're still hurting. It sounds like you've been through a really tough time, and it's completely understandable that you've been crying. Twelve hours is a long time to carry that kind of pain. It's incredibly disappointing and hurtful when someone you care about doesn't offer comfort or support, especially after such a difficult experience.

Breaking things off is never easy, especially when your heart is feeling heavy and broken. But it sounds like you made a brave and important decision for yourself. You absolutely deserve to be with someone who cares about your feelings and acknowledges your pain. It takes strength to recognize that and to prioritize your own well-being, even when it's hard.

I'm glad my words offered a little bit of comfort. I'm here for you if you want to talk more about it, or if you just need someone to listen. No pressure at all, but please know that you're not alone, and you don't have to go through this by yourself. 💕

[DaddyABQ]

Goodness, I am very sorry that happened to you, and the only thing I can offer that's not been stated is to tell you that I also agree with your decision. I know it's absolutely heartbreaking to endure, but in the long term, it'll be better.

Your experience resonated with me in that I had a very similar relationship in the past, and experienced the same kind of gaslighting you described for a long time.

I know it'll take some time, but I am sure you will emerge stronger and happier in the long run.

Edited February 16 by DaddyABQ

[Liamo]

I have a quick question, before giving you mu opinion, but it is worth what you paid for, so , not much. First, is he on this platform? Will he see that post? You have clearly said you love him, you want to be with him, but he did something that did hurt you a lot. If he sees that post and does not send you a huge bouquet of red roses with a detailed apology, then,..., there is something seriously wrong. 

Communicating through texts is fun, but so difficult. At least 80% of communication is non verbal. Now, I think that when a Daddy feels off, or there is something wrong in how he perceives you, he HAS to ask how you are doing. He has to ask if there is anything wrong. being a good Daddy also mean learning to be a good communicator. You have to stop the flow and check on your little. We do not have crystal balls, so we must ask. He failed to do that. This is not on you. You actually asked for clarifications when you were not sure of what he was asking you. From your description of your point of view, you seem to be the more mature one here. 

How long have you been together? I have seen littles getting extremely attached very quickly, so this is why I am asking how long you have been together. If it is a recent relationship, his reaction here should be a red flag, especially if you never receive those roses after you tried to explain your feelings. 

Another red flag is accusing you of being a manipulator for wanting to have an honest discussion and clarifications. Be careful. Manipulators often accuse others of what they are themselves doing. 

If you were my daughter, (and I am taking to you just as if you were), here is what I would recommend.

1) You did everything with the right intent. it does not mean you did not make any mistake in communicating. Maybe you did. But you clearly acted honestly with the right intent. So right there you are in the clear.

2) He abruptly ghosted you without a word of explanation. This is not what a good Daddy ever do.

3) You attempted to have a follow up conversation, once again having the right intent.

4) He now accuses you of being manipulative. 

I would tell my daughter (and I have actually a gorgeous 21 year old daughter), to stop talking to him. If he ever comes back with a sincere apology, maybe you give him a second and LAST chance. If he does not come back, you have your answer. He did not care for you. Then I would tell her to take care of herself. To focus on her well being and happiness. To use that time alone to reflect on her life, and who she is. What she want to become, what she enjoys and want to keep doing, and what she wants to change. I would tell her she needs to love herself so that solitude is a friend and not an enemy. That it is in silence we find our answers. And so, not to be sad because she is alone right now. And finally I would tell her that it is better for her to figure out what kind of man her partner really is early on than much later. And my last words would be: I love you!

[beanbean]

5 hours ago, BunniGirlRT said:

I’m struggling a lot right now and could really use some outside perspective. My Daddy and I had a really difficult interaction last night, and I’m feeling extremely hurt by how things unfolded.

Essentially, he initiated an intimate time, and I did everything he asked—following instructions, sending pictures and videos, and just being fully present in the moment. Then, out of nowhere, he abruptly stopped and left without any real explanation. It made me feel like I had done something wrong or that I wasn’t good enough in some way. I was left feeling cold, distant, and honestly, heartbroken. I ended up crying myself to sleep, overanalyzing everything, trying to figure out what I did to make him shut down like that and to make him so unhappy.

When I brought it up to him this morning, he told me that my responses last night during our special time gave him the impression that I wasn’t enjoying myself, so he decided to stop. But he never asked me if I was okay in the moment—he just assumed, shut things down, and left me feeling abandoned. I explained to him that I was enjoying myself and that I only asked for clarification on something he wanted me to do since we are long distance I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything correctly. But instead of seeing my side, he turned it around on me, saying that because I’m a pleaser, he assumed I wasn’t into it and was just pushing through things for his sake.

As we talked more, I told him that this situation really hurt me and that I needed some time to process everything—to think about whether I can handle moments like this in the future because I don’t want to keep spiraling into self-doubt every time something like this happens. Somehow, that turned into him thinking I was saying I wanted to end things, which wasn’t what I meant at all and I kept reassuring him of that. I love my daddy and don't want to ever be without him. I just needed to figure out how to move forward in a way that wouldn’t leave me feeling this awful again in the future.

But instead of giving me that space, he pulled away completely and started calling me a manipulator—saying that bringing up other concerns (like the fact that we barely spend time together outside of these moments) was me stacking issues against him unfairly. I wasn’t trying to attack him or manipulate him—I was just realizing in my hurt that maybe there are deeper issues that need addressing. But he took everything I said as if I was out to get him, and now I feel like I’m just too much and that my feelings aren’t valid or maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. He's always told me to express myself and tell him when I have big emotions so I was trying to do that safely...and now I don't know anymore

I don’t know how to process this. I feel so let down, scared, and alone. I trusted him so much, and now I feel like he’s just shutting me out rather than working through things with me. Am I wrong for feeling this way? How do I even move forward from this?

Yeah do you ever talk voice to voice with him if you do it’s time to have a big talk  and tell him what you need and have him do the same and go from there it’s a good way to know if you guys can work it out

[BunniGirlRT]

4 hours ago, DaddyABQ said:

Goodness, I am very sorry that happened to you, and the only thing I can offer that's not been stated is to tell you that I also agree with your decision. I know it's absolutely heartbreaking to endure, but in the long term, it'll be better.

Your experience resonated with me in that I had a very similar relationship in the past, and experienced the same kind of gaslighting you described for a long time.

I know it'll take some time, but I am sure you will emerge stronger and happier in the long run.

Thank you very much. I've been having time to myself today to just make friends and be happy..played some games and took a nap.

[BunniGirlRT]

1 hour ago, Liamo said:

I have a quick question, before giving you mu opinion, but it is worth what you paid for, so , not much. First, is he on this platform? Will he see that post? You have clearly said you love him, you want to be with him, but he did something that did hurt you a lot. If he sees that post and does not send you a huge bouquet of red roses with a detailed apology, then,..., there is something seriously wrong. 

Communicating through texts is fun, but so difficult. At least 80% of communication is non verbal. Now, I think that when a Daddy feels off, or there is something wrong in how he perceives you, he HAS to ask how you are doing. He has to ask if there is anything wrong. being a good Daddy also mean learning to be a good communicator. You have to stop the flow and check on your little. We do not have crystal balls, so we must ask. He failed to do that. This is not on you. You actually asked for clarifications when you were not sure of what he was asking you. From your description of your point of view, you seem to be the more mature one here. 

How long have you been together? I have seen littles getting extremely attached very quickly, so this is why I am asking how long you have been together. If it is a recent relationship, his reaction here should be a red flag, especially if you never receive those roses after you tried to explain your feelings. 

Another red flag is accusing you of being a manipulator for wanting to have an honest discussion and clarifications. Be careful. Manipulators often accuse others of what they are themselves doing. 

If you were my daughter, (and I am taking to you just as if you were), here is what I would recommend.

1) You did everything with the right intent. it does not mean you did not make any mistake in communicating. Maybe you did. But you clearly acted honestly with the right intent. So right there you are in the clear.

2) He abruptly ghosted you without a word of explanation. This is not what a good Daddy ever do.

3) You attempted to have a follow up conversation, once again having the right intent.

4) He now accuses you of being manipulative. 

I would tell my daughter (and I have actually a gorgeous 21 year old daughter), to stop talking to him. If he ever comes back with a sincere apology, maybe you give him a second and LAST chance. If he does not come back, you have your answer. He did not care for you. Then I would tell her to take care of herself. To focus on her well being and happiness. To use that time alone to reflect on her life, and who she is. What she want to become, what she enjoys and want to keep doing, and what she wants to change. I would tell her she needs to love herself so that solitude is a friend and not an enemy. That it is in silence we find our answers. And so, not to be sad because she is alone right now. And finally I would tell her that it is better for her to figure out what kind of man her partner really is early on than much later. And my last words would be: I love you!

We were together less that 6 months. And TBH I don't know if he is on this platform. We met somewhere else and kinda discovered these things about each other. We were first friends and it led into a relationship and then into this dynamic where I could be vulnerable and myself with him.

[BunniGirlRT]

44 minutes ago, beanbean said:

Yeah do you ever talk voice to voice with him if you do it’s time to have a big talk  and tell him what you need and have him do the same and go from there it’s a good way to know if you guys can work it out

We only voice monday-friday and for 30min in the morning and 30min at 5pm

[beanbean]

5 minutes ago, BunniGirlRT said:

We only voice monday-friday and for 30min in the morning and 30min at 5pm

You need take one of those and use it for a communication session because if you can’t work this out it’s not going to get better 

[Liamo]

Was that his rules? The not talking outside of those times? What would happen if you reach out to him outside those times? If I was in your shoes, I would be asking why is it so rigid? Is he married? 

What does your gut tells you? Listen to your female instinct. What does your gut feeling tells you? You ladies have a 6th sense, and it is real. You are in general in tune with your feelings. 

[BunniGirlRT]

12 minutes ago, beanbean said:

You need take one of those and use it for a communication session because if you can’t work this out it’s not going to get better 

well we already broke up. I sent him a message saying.."Daddy, I’ve thought a lot about our relationship, and I don’t feel like my needs are being met in a way that makes me feel safe and valued. I would like to talk about how I can express my feelings without fear of being shut down or misunderstood. I want to work through this but I need your help as well. Can we?" and his response was telling me if i need to think about things with him then its already doomed and we should just call it..and i said i didn't want to and he said he feels differently now and doesn't want to continue so I sent a sad face cause I didn't know what to say and he say "OK" and that was that...no more communication and I cant send him messages anymore. 

[BunniGirlRT]

I'm sad and heartbroken but I've been focusing on myself today and taking everyone's advice. I really can't thank everyone enough for all the support and help cause I was beginning to really blame myself and sure I may have miscommunicated some things but In the end I was the one apologizing and trying to get him to stay with me when he hurt me last night and that was the whole reason I brought it up...

[DaddyABQ]

36 minutes ago, BunniGirlRT said:

Thank you very much. I've been having time to myself today to just make friends and be happy..played some games and took a nap.

That sounds like the perfect way to approach today.

[Liamo]

I do not know you, but I am proud of your actions. You handled it well. I will continue to talk to you as if you were my daughter. He does not deserve you. So block him, and never answer his calls if he comes back crawling.

Know your self worth. You will meet a man who will value you and love you for who you are. He did you a favor.  No woman deserves that kind of treatment. 

[beanbean]

41 minutes ago, BunniGirlRT said:

well we already broke up. I sent him a message saying.."Daddy, I’ve thought a lot about our relationship, and I don’t feel like my needs are being met in a way that makes me feel safe and valued. I would like to talk about how I can express my feelings without fear of being shut down or misunderstood. I want to work through this but I need your help as well. Can we?" and his response was telling me if i need to think about things with him then its already doomed and we should just call it..and i said i didn't want to and he said he feels differently now and doesn't want to continue so I sent a sad face cause I didn't know what to say and he say "OK" and that was that...no more communication and I cant send him messages anymore. 

I mean at the end of the the day did not sound like he was willing to understand you and that’s a problem that you guys wouldn’t be overcome. I am sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted 

[BunniGirlRT]

Thank you everybodies.....it truly means the world to have such a great supportive place to go to and be open. 

[DaddyABQ]

11 minutes ago, BunniGirlRT said:

Thank you everybodies.....it truly means the world to have such a great supportive place to go to and be open. 

That's what community is for!

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

Sending you gentle hugs. ♡

[karan]

20 hours ago, BunniGirlRT said:

I’m struggling a lot right now and could really use some outside perspective. My Daddy and I had a really difficult interaction last night, and I’m feeling extremely hurt by how things unfolded.

Essentially, he initiated an intimate time, and I did everything he asked—following instructions, sending pictures and videos, and just being fully present in the moment. Then, out of nowhere, he abruptly stopped and left without any real explanation. It made me feel like I had done something wrong or that I wasn’t good enough in some way. I was left feeling cold, distant, and honestly, heartbroken. I ended up crying myself to sleep, overanalyzing everything, trying to figure out what I did to make him shut down like that and to make him so unhappy.

When I brought it up to him this morning, he told me that my responses last night during our special time gave him the impression that I wasn’t enjoying myself, so he decided to stop. But he never asked me if I was okay in the moment—he just assumed, shut things down, and left me feeling abandoned. I explained to him that I was enjoying myself and that I only asked for clarification on something he wanted me to do since we are long distance I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything correctly. But instead of seeing my side, he turned it around on me, saying that because I’m a pleaser, he assumed I wasn’t into it and was just pushing through things for his sake.

As we talked more, I told him that this situation really hurt me and that I needed some time to process everything—to think about whether I can handle moments like this in the future because I don’t want to keep spiraling into self-doubt every time something like this happens. Somehow, that turned into him thinking I was saying I wanted to end things, which wasn’t what I meant at all and I kept reassuring him of that. I love my daddy and don't want to ever be without him. I just needed to figure out how to move forward in a way that wouldn’t leave me feeling this awful again in the future.

But instead of giving me that space, he pulled away completely and started calling me a manipulator—saying that bringing up other concerns (like the fact that we barely spend time together outside of these moments) was me stacking issues against him unfairly. I wasn’t trying to attack him or manipulate him—I was just realizing in my hurt that maybe there are deeper issues that need addressing. But he took everything I said as if I was out to get him, and now I feel like I’m just too much and that my feelings aren’t valid or maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. He's always told me to express myself and tell him when I have big emotions so I was trying to do that safely...and now I don't know anymore

I don’t know how to process this. I feel so let down, scared, and alone. I trusted him so much, and now I feel like he’s just shutting me out rather than working through things with me. Am I wrong for feeling this way? How do I even move forward from this?

Hi there Bunni,

I have been in the same exact spot as you but with me it was with a little one since I'm a daddy a while back, sadly the only way to get over this is giving yourself sometime, and talk to others to lighten your pain. Being intimate with someone you trust can be wonderful but if someone misuses that, it shatters you and vice versa. It is sad that people do things like this but it is out of your control. If you are still talking to them then ask them if they would be willing to listen to what you have to say, maybe explain to them that you are not trying to attack them. If they aren't willing to listen then the best way to handle it would be to give yourself some space from them. Also please do not isolate yourself, talk to people, vent if you need to. There are people here including myself that are willing to listen, it is always important for your mental health not to bottle up. I hope this makes sense and that you are aware I am not trying to overstep my boundaries (If I am please let me know so I can edit or delete the comment). Please always be safe and take care of you, give yourself the care and time you need to, to process this and heal yourself.