Finding My Little Side Again

[RangerDucky52]

Hi All,

     I have come back to the forum after awhile because I've run out of ideas for how to get my little side back.

   About a year ago i was with a really toxic partner, who thought my little side was disgusting and not attractive, so i buried that part of me to make him happy. Now i find it hard to get back into my little space, and when i do it isnt for long enough to help me destress from being big/adulty. 

My question is if anyone has any ideas that could possibly help me without forcing myself into little space? 

[Ariadna]

Hi. 😺✨
I think you should start by taking care of yourself as an "adult". For example: taking long baths, skincare, watching soft movies (something like romance - comedy), eating food that you like, and most important: choose a new hobby or get back to a hobby you abandoned.
Then you can start adding cute little things to it (but slowly)... like watching anime with adult plots (For example. Totoro, Ponyo...), rewarding yourself with sweets or maybe stationary....
And then you can go to your little space completely, because it's going to feel more natural or normal because it's part of your routine.

However, if it was an unhealthy relationship it's going to be hard... even if you are just trying to be an adult and taking care of yourself like you used to. So, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Day by day.

"Cause baby steps is still movement".

[RangerDucky52]

1 hour ago, Ariadna said:

Hi. 😺✨
I think you should start by taking care of yourself as an "adult". For example: taking long baths, skincare, watching soft movies (something like romance - comedy), eating food that you like, and most important: choose a new hobby or get back to a hobby you abandoned.
Then you can start adding cute little things to it (but slowly)... like watching anime with adult plots (For example. Totoro, Ponyo...), rewarding yourself with sweets or maybe stationary....
And then you can go to your little space completely, because it's going to feel more natural or normal because it's part of your routine.

However, if it was an unhealthy relationship it's going to be hard... even if you are just trying to be an adult and taking care of yourself like you used to. So, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Day by day.

"Cause baby steps is still movement".

I really appreciate these kind words. i also appreciate the ideas too. i didn't think to start with my "adult" self before trying to heal my little side. i will definitely try that more than i already have. I've been trying to take care of myself more these last 6-8 months, but it's going really slowly. you saying baby steps is still movement gives me more hope than i was letting my adult self believe in<3

[SoulEater]

Ariana is right, taking care of adult you and finding the time to relax would be key, things do take time though so please don’t get too frustrated. I think coming back to the forum will certainly help also, being among peers can help. You always have friends here and will always be treated fairly, I glad you were able to break away from the toxicity, please take care

[RangerDucky52]

1 hour ago, BrightBlueLight said:

Other have already given you good advice, so read what they have to say, but what I can add is that for some people having someone they can trust and feel safe with brings that part of themselves out in the open. I have dated several women who didn’t even know they had a little side until they met me and were able to feel a way they hadn’t felt that allowed them to subconsciously remove walls they did not even know were there.

Being able to be comfortable and happy on your own is important, but so is the human need to be loved and with someone who brings out the best in you. Your little side isn’t gone, even if it feels that way right now. One way or another she will return, just be patient with yourself and try not to overthink. 

I think I may try that after the other ideas. I don't have many people I feel safe enough to show that side of me, so I'll have to think about who I trust the most before I try it. I really appreciate your kind words as well ❤️